Chapter 6
Two months before the wedding.
Nakuha ko na ang listahan ng mga na-accomplish na ng wedding coordinator kasama si Mommy. Wala na talaga ako masyadong iisipin pa! I really appreciate my mother for making sure I'll have a beautiful and perfect wedding.
Ever since, tutok talaga si Mommy sa lahat ng poignant events sa buhay ko. Nag-iisang anak lang ako at naging super hands-on ni Mommy sa 'kin. Hindi ako lumaki na may yaya dahil si Mommy mismo ang nag-aasikaso sa lahat ng kailangan ko.
When I was in pre-school, si Mommy ang matiyagang naghihintay na matapos ang three hours na klase ko. I remember how I was always delighted when the first one I see outside my classroom was her. Tatakbo ako sa kanya at yayakap nang mahigpit. Nami-miss ko kasi talaga si Mommy kapag nasa classroom ako.
When I entered elementary, my attention was transferred to my friends. Pero kahit ganoon, hatid-sundo pa rin ako ni Mommy kahit may driver-bodyguard naman kami. Siya ang gumagawa ng baon ko. Hanggang sa mag-high school ako.
Mas naging busy ako during high school and college because of extra-curricular activities. Hinayaan ako ni Mommy to have fun and since I'm a "good girl", I was always trusted that I'd be responsible. And yes, hindi ko inaabuso ang freedom na binibigay sa 'kin ng parents ko kahit may means ako to do it. I was trusted, so I don't want to break that trust.
Kaya kahit wala naman sa intensyon kong magkaroon ng "good girl" image, naging biglang ganoon na lang ang tingin sa 'kin ng lahat. Masunurin daw ako na anak.
Maybe, malaking factor din na surrounded din ako ng magandang environment. The friends I made in school were not on the "pasaway" side. But they were "fun" in a good way. We don't need to drink alcohol a lot, cut classes, etc., to have a memorable teenage experience. I don't have to break rules because personally, I don't want to.
I think, kanya-kanya rin talagang definition ng "fun" ang mga tao. It happens that I find happiness in cooking and baking, hanging out with friends in coffee shops, having chill conversations and indulging in a little bit of gossip.
Malaki rin sigurong impluwensiya si Mommy talaga. Since she literally raised me (Daddy was kind of busy with the business before but not to the point that he neglected us.), I was always inspired by how "classy" my mother is in everything.
Sa kanya ko nakuha ang natural na hinhin at lambing ng boses ko. Kahit nagagalit na, mukhang hindi pa rin. She always moves in a gentle and feminine manner. I never saw her drink alcohol, even a sip. Ang biro nga ni Daddy, walang bisyo si Mommy kundi ako lang. My mom's "addicted" of taking care of me.
I also loved my mother's style of clothing—modest yet stylish. I have no problem with sexy clothes, but I know it's not my style. Or I just really prefer to dress like my mother.
Dahil din siguro hindi ako nauubusan ng atensyon sa bahay, hindi ako nakaramdam ng need to do something to get anyone's attention. My mother would always remind me to just be "me". Whether I fit in or not in a group, it's okay. Real friends just fit with you easily. And she's right. That's why I have real and lasting friends now.
Hindi rin siguro maiiwasan na kahit mahal na mahal ako ni Mommy, nandyan 'yung pressure palagi to not disappoint sa part ko. Siguro natural lang 'yon? When you have parents who gave everything to you—privilege, love, and attention, you have no excuse to take that for granted.
Isa lang talaga ang kinabaliwan ko noon at handang ipaglaban kung sakali, eh. Si Lorcan sana. Again, hindi lang nagsasalita ang parents ko, pero halatang ayaw nila si Lorcan para sa 'kin.
