Through The Abyss

TURNING MY HEART BLUE

It had been a week since the fight, and I hadn't seen Elijah ever since. When I asked Kristine where he was, the response I got was..."He's staying with a friend, to be closer to campus." I didn't believe it for a second. Elijah was avoiding me. That's what this was. It stung, more than I thought it would. He had every right to be mad, but to completely shut me out like this? It felt so... final.

After talking it over with Layla, I started to see things more clearly. Elijah probably felt like I was choosing Penn over him. And if I were him, I'd probably feel the same way. I didn't mean to make him feel like Penn was more important, but I guess that's what I did. And now, here I was, stuck in this limbo between two people I cared about, not knowing how to fix any of it.

I had no way of reaching Elijah. No phone, no clue where his "friend" was staying. All I had was the tension that sat heavy in my chest. Meanwhile, Penn seemed to be doing a lot better. She was diving headfirst into her schoolwork, keeping herself busy. No more sulking, no more crying. And that made me happy.

Maybe everything does happen for a reason. I tried to tell myself that, especially after Whitney shared that Bible verse with me about trusting God's plan. Maybe Elijah wasn't supposed to be in my life like I thought. Maybe he was just a test, something to strengthen my bond with Penn. The idea made sense.

After helping Kristine with lunch, she turned to me with that soft smile of hers.

Kristine: I can take it from here, El. Thank you.

I smiled back, though my mind was elsewhere.

Elodie: Welcome

I said, excusing myself before heading upstairs. I practically threw myself onto my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

I wasn't happy, but I was... content, I guess. Painting, watching basketball games, losing myself in music—those were my escapes. I'd even found a new obsession with R&B. H.E.R. and Giveon were on repeat, and I'd become completely hooked on "ICU" by Coco Jones. Kristine had forced me to listen to older tracks too, stuff like Lauryn Hill's "Ex-Factor" and Michael Jackson's "Remember the Time." I liked the classics. Nina Simone's "I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free" was my go-to when I wanted to feel something deeper.

I was lost in those thoughts when a knock at the door pulled me back to reality.

Elodie: Come in

I called, figuring it was Kristine again.

But no one opened the door.

I groaned, dragging myself out of bed to answer it.

Elodie: Kristine, I said—

THIRD PERSON

Her voice faltered as the door swung open, revealing Elijah standing there with a bouquet of light orange tulips in one hand and a basket full of her favorite snacks and drinks in the other.

Elodie's heart dropped.

She didn't know what to say. Her whole body felt strange, like my heart was going to burst out of my chest and her skin was on fire. She didn't feel real at that moment.

Elodie's throat tightened, and for a moment, she couldn't speak. She had imagined this moment over and over again during the past week, but none of those scenarios had prepared her for how much seeing him again would stir in her.

Elijah took a small step forward, his voice softer than she remembered.

Elijah: I'm sorry, love.

Elodie's heart clenched at the sound of his voice, a strange mix of emotions swirling inside her—relief, frustration, confusion.