When Dreams Collide: The Story of Y/N and Elizabeth Olsen

Bonus Chapter: The Comedy of Parenting Fails with River

Bonus Chapter: The Comedy of Parenting Fails with River

1. The ‘Great Cereal Flood’

The day starts innocently enough with Y/N trying to enjoy a peaceful breakfast. She’s got River settled in his high chair with a small bowl of dry cereal to nibble on while Dua is brewing coffee.

Y/N looks away for two seconds, just enough time to take a sip of her coffee. When she looks back, River is holding the cereal bowl upside down, watching in fascination as it rains Cheerios all over the floor.

“River! No!” Y/N exclaims, diving to catch the last few falling pieces.

River stares at her, wide-eyed, as if to say, What? I’m a scientist, I’m experimenting here.

Dua, completely unfazed, takes a long, slow sip of her coffee and says, “Well, looks like we’re going with the ‘Cheerio carpet’ vibe this morning.”

River giggles in delight, clearly proud of his handiwork.

2. The ‘Inconvenient Nap Strike’

It’s noon, and Y/N is attempting to get River down for his nap. She’s read all the parenting blogs, knows the exact method, has the lullaby playlist ready, and even dimmed the lights perfectly.

But River? He’s having none of it. He’s in full rebellion mode.

“Okay, bud, time for your nap,” Y/N says soothingly as she places him in the crib.

River immediately pops back up like a jack-in-the-box, grinning mischievously.

After 15 minutes of singing, patting, and pleading, Y/N finally gives up and looks at Dua, who’s sprawled on the couch watching TikToks.

“Your turn.”

Dua shrugs. “I got this.”

She saunters into River’s room with zero preparation, plops down on the rocking chair, and—boom—two minutes later, River is asleep. Not just asleep, but snoring. Loudly.

Y/N, standing in the doorway, glares. “Seriously? How do you do that?”

Dua grins. “It’s my superpower.”

3. The ‘Diaper Escape’

The afternoon brings a different kind of challenge. River, in a moment of genius, decides to take off his diaper all by himself. It’s like he’s staging a mini prison break, leaving his diaper behind as a trophy.

Y/N, mid-laundry, hears Dua yell from the living room, “Babe! He’s streaking! Full nudist mode!”

Y/N rushes in to find River gleefully running around, giggling uncontrollably, completely free of all clothing except for one sock. It’s pure chaos.

“Dua! Catch him!” Y/N laughs, trying to corner their toddler.

Dua dives—literally dives—onto the couch, but River is too quick, slipping past her like a tiny, slippery eel. After a few minutes of frantic chasing, Y/N finally manages to wrangle River and get him back into a diaper, both of them breathless from the impromptu workout.

“Are we raising a future Olympic sprinter or a future prankster?” Y/N jokes, panting as she fixes the new diaper.

Dua wipes sweat from her forehead. “Both. Definitely both.”

4. The ‘Mystery Snack Stash’

Later, Y/N notices that River has been suspiciously quiet for a few minutes, which, as any parent knows, is a huge red flag.

“Where’s River?” she asks, a sudden panic creeping into her voice.

They search the house and finally find him in the pantry, sitting on the floor, surrounded by a mountain of snacks. He’s got a bag of chips in one hand and a half-eaten cookie in the other, with crumbs everywhere.

River looks up at them, completely unfazed by being caught red-handed in the snack heist of the century.

Dua bursts out laughing. “He’s been planning this. Look at the precision! The snack ninja has struck again.”

Y/N shakes her head, half-amused, half-mortified by the sheer volume of food he’s managed to grab. “How did he even get the chips from that top shelf?”

River giggles, shoving another piece of cookie into his mouth. Clearly, this is his proudest achievement of the day.

5. The ‘Zoo Animal Noise Debacle’

As a fun afternoon activity, Y/N and Dua try to teach River some animal noises. They start with the basics: cows go “moo,” dogs go “woof,” etc.

But, as with most things involving River, things quickly spiral out of control.

“River, what does a cow say?” Y/N asks sweetly.

River stares at her for a moment, then lets out a sound that can only be described as a hybrid between a dolphin squeal and a rooster’s crow.

Dua snorts, trying to hold back laughter. “Uh… not quite.”

Y/N attempts again. “How about a dog? What does a dog say?”

River, determined to outdo himself, barks… but it sounds more like an air horn. He’s clearly in his own world, and Y/N is losing it.

By the time they get to “what does a chicken say,” River has fully committed to making the weirdest noises possible, from bizarre growls to alien-like chirps.

“Well, at least he’s creative,” Dua says between giggles.

6. The ‘Peekaboo Gone Wrong’

The night’s winding down, and it’s time for some calm playtime before bed. River’s favorite game lately is peekaboo, so Y/N hides behind a pillow, ready to pop out and make him laugh.

“Peekaboo!” she exclaims, popping out dramatically.

River, however, decides this time is different. Instead of laughing, he gasps in surprise, grabs the nearest stuffed toy, and hurls it at Y/N’s face.

Y/N blinks, stunned. “Did I just get assaulted by a stuffed giraffe?”

River claps, delighted by his new version of the game, while Dua falls over, laughing so hard she’s wheezing.

“Well, guess that’s one way to play peekaboo,” Y/N mutters, rubbing her face as she tries not to laugh herself.

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The day may have been filled with mishaps, but by the end of it, as Y/N and Dua collapse onto the couch after finally getting River to bed, they can’t help but smile.

“Parenting is chaos,” Y/N sighs, leaning her head on Dua’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Dua agrees, laughing softly. “But it’s our chaos.”