𝐁eyond the Lens - b.e

54 -

Ellie slowly woke up the next morning, her head heavy and her body exhausted from the tumult of the previous day's events. She had slept longer than usual, as if her body was trying to recover from the emotional assaults that had left her on edge. She opened her eyes with difficulty, realizing how painful, swollen, and empty they felt. Memories of the previous night came flooding back, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.

Shame and disgust settled in as she realized how much she had let her emotions take control. She couldn't believe she had allowed that man, that stranger, to bring her to such a state; in her eyes, he was nothing now. He had betrayed the memory of her mother, and she swore never to give him power over her life again.

But those thoughts didn't stop there. She recalled Billie's face, her look full of confusion and concern. Why had she shown up at that moment? When had she left? Billie had been there, witnessing her vulnerability, and the idea that she had seen her break down filled her with a fresh wave of shame.

A noise from the opening door jolted her back to reality. With her hands around her face, she propped herself up slightly. Then, a familiar head appeared in the doorway, followed by the entire body of her four-legged companion.

It was Livaï.

Ellie's heart lit up as her loyal Australian shepherd ran toward her, jumping onto the bed with boundless energy. Relief washed over her, and she laughed while gently pushing her dog away, who was enthusiastically licking her face. "Livaï, oh my God, you're here!" she exclaimed, stroking his soft, comforting fur. It felt like a ray of sunshine piercing through the dark clouds that had surrounded her.

Then, in the background, Billie stepped forward, a smile on her face. "I got him from Kate's room," she said with a feigned lightness, but her eyes betrayed a deep concern. "I thought he was the best friend you needed right now."

Ellie returned a shy smile, grateful for the kind gesture. "Thank you so much, Billie," she murmured, continuing to pet Livaï, seeking refuge in her dog's affection.

Billie approached gently, but Ellie instinctively turned away slightly, trying to hide her tear-streaked face from the day before. Billie, with infinite tenderness, brushed a strand of hair away from Ellie's face.

"Ellie..." Billie began, but fell silent upon seeing the tiredness in Ellie's eyes, filled with pain and sadness. "Are you ready to talk about what happened yesterday?"

Ellie pulled away slightly, avoiding eye contact. She had always wanted to be strong, to prove to herself that she could weather any storm. She didn't want to waste Billie's time with her own pain. "I don't want to take up your time with this, Billie," she murmured, her voice filled with a melancholy she couldn't hide. "You must have other issues to deal with."

Billie, surprised by this reaction, insisted, "But for now, all I want is to be here for you."

At these words, Ellie raised her voice a little, frustration spilling out from her wounded heart. "Why? Why are you doing this? What are we to each other?"

The shock was palpable. Billie felt her heart tighten. Ellie had put up defenses, and she could feel it. "Ellie, you..."

"I'm nobody, Billie!" Ellie interrupted sharply, her voice trembling with anger and pain. "You shouldn't waste your time on me! I don't want to waste time either."

Billie, hurt by these words, tried to stay calm. "That's not true, Ellie. You matter to me. I don't know what happened with your father, but I'm not him!" The anxiety was visible on her face as she stepped a little closer. "He left. But I'm here, and I plan to stay."

Ellie, anger mixed with sadness, retorted defiantly. "Everyone ends up abandoning me, Billie! Everyone! You'll probably do the same!"

Billie felt a dull ache in her chest. Why couldn't Ellie see that she was there, that she had decided to stay? She stepped closer, determination written on her face. She took Ellie's face in her hands, almost on the verge of tears seeing her friend in so much pain. "Ellie, I don't want you to suffer in silence. Please, let me help you."

But Ellie calmly moved Billie's hands away again. The pain and anger swirled in her heart, and she knew she couldn't let herself fall apart. "Leave me alone, please. I want to be alone."

Billie, helpless, could feel the growing distance between them. Ellie's distress tore at her heart, but she couldn't do anything against her refusal. "I..." she began, but her words caught in her throat.

"I'm sorry, Billie," Ellie finally said, her voice barely a whisper. "I can't. I... I'm too scared." The vulnerability in her words resonated like an echo, hitting Billie hard.

The pain and sadness in Ellie's voice made Billie realize that this wasn't just an argument. It was as if a fissure had opened between them, a rupture in a story that hadn't even truly begun. With tears in her eyes, Billie wanted to say something, but she couldn't find the words.

Ellie pulled away further, as if she were shielding herself behind an armor she had erected. "I can't do this," she murmured, her voice trembling. "I can't let someone get close to me again."

Billie felt lost, Ellie's gaze avoiding hers, her posture closed and defensive. She could see the pain, anxiety, and fear in every gesture. It was as if Ellie was trying to protect herself from a reality that could shatter her even more.

"I want you to stay in my life, Ellie," Billie finally said, almost pleading. "I want to be there for you. I'm not like them. I won't leave. Please, trust me."

But Ellie shook her head, a solitary tear sliding down her cheek. "I... I can't. I don't trust you, Billie. And I don't want to hurt you."

She didn't know if she was crying for her father, for Billie, or for herself. Everything was tangled in her heart. Billie turned her head, trying to hide her own tears, her heart breaking with every word exchanged.

"You've never hurt me, Ellie," Billie murmured, her voice trembling. "I just want you to let me stay close to you."

"But it hurts too much," Ellie replied, her voice almost inaudible. "I can't... I'm sorry, but I can't."

She remembered that little girl, desperate and alone, who had seen her world crumble. She never wanted to feel that loss again. She knew her feelings for Billie were precious, that she had become attached to her, that she represented something incredible in her life, a glimmer of hope. But that connection terrified her. Every gesture, every word Billie spoke had the power to awaken buried emotions within her. Ellie feared that once again, she would be left behind, just as she had been with her father. The idea of losing someone so precious terrified her.

Billie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, then turned to walk away. The door closed softly behind her, leaving Ellie alone with her troubled thoughts. The heavy silence that settled in the room was deafening, and Ellie collapsed onto her bed, her heart heavy.

She surrendered to her tears, the taste of pain bitter on her lips. Suffering engulfed her, and she wondered if she would ever be able to let anyone close to her again. The armor she had forged to protect herself had become a prison, isolating her even more. Ellie knew she needed time, healing, but the fear of solitude, of betrayal, was overwhelming.

She wrapped herself in her blankets, hugging herself tightly, hoping to find some warmth in this cold universe. She wanted to believe that one day she could let in the light, but for now, all she felt was the darkness enveloping her.

Sadness overwhelmed her, and she realized that even though Billie wanted to help, fear had taken over. Ellie knew she needed time, healing, but at what cost? She felt as if something precious had just extinguished between them...