A Nagas tale

Drunken night

Kogen stayed with me the entire week but has not made a move or said a word. I can't help but feel so guilty for pushing him like that. I sit in the car watching Kogen silently watch the world. 'How the hell could you be so mean!?' I sigh 'This is why you can't get Anderson to like you!' I frown hearing my mother's words. I shake my head 'How long has Kogen lived with the title of monster? How long has he lived with the title of leader? Has he even gotten the chance to just be him?' I grab his hand unsure of how to proceed. I apologized so much that night I assured him I was wrong for being mad at his questions. This was going to be a long drive to the port. I want to jump out of this car as punishment for making him feel bad. I look out of the window unsure of what to say. 'how do I fix this? How can I help? Is there even a way I can help?' I look at Kogen his eyes are watching me. I smile at him hoping he will say something! "Audrey? Is Kogen alright?" Yyvonne asks. I turn to her and feel my heart sink. "W.. we had a little argument a while ago." I lie. She sighs "Oh man, what did he do?" She asks. I shake my head "No, I got him upset." I explain. "how?" she asks. I can't answer her question. "W... well it's complicated," I tell her. She nods "Okay if you don't want to talk about it it's okay." she gives me space. I look up at Kogen he pats his lap. I do as he asks sitting on his lap he hugs me. "You should rest a little," I whisper. He says nothing but I can hear him groan. I look out of the window as he rests his head against mine. I pat his head "I'll keep an eye on the drive." I assure him. 'I messed up so bad.' I feel like crying. 'What do I do? Is there even anything I can do?' I did not say a thing worried I would only make him feel worse. That week and a half-long road trip was long and I made little progress to get anything out of him. 'why does he hate the Idea of somebody submitting to him? Why does it put him off so much?' 

I could tell Audrey wanted to ask me so much but I had no answers for her. I angered her for questioning her submission. I've always seen submission as pathetic, only for those who cannot keep fighting. I refused to see Audrey like that I'd rather her demand more of me. In a fight, if one submits that means they can no longer keep protecting their life. As a leader that means you've failed to accomplish your duties. I watch Audrey wave the driver off as we get ready to board the ship heading home. She has hidden her aura and created a small barrier around the sword. 'she's been learning a lot wherever she goes.' I see Aurora and Helen tackle Audrey in hugs. "Hello! shipmate!" Helen cheers. Audrey seemed shocked "Shipmates? Are you going somewhere?" Audrey asks. They nod "We asked the general if we could go visit your home to meet the elder." They explain. Audrey looks at me "Will that be alright?" she asks. I nod "It's fine." I answer leading them into the ship. 'Why is she so fine with giving in to me? why would she want to be seen as pathetic?' The questions I want to ask seem confined to my mind. I catch my reflection on the water 'Why to me? A monster?' "You seem really thoughtful." I turn to Helen. "it's nothing." I answer she giggles "Audrey looks on edge too, did you two get into a fight?" she asks. I look at Audrey ahead with Aurora. "Something like that," I answer. She nods "What to talk about it?" she asks. I look at Audrey "Come on! let's go check out the arcade!" Aurora steals Audrey from my sight. "She will be fine, if you need to talk we can chat over some margaritas!" she giggles. I groan 'Oh great she was just looking for a drinking buddy.' I sigh "We should put our things away before we go anywhere. After finding our spots at the bar Helen started her interrogation. "So what is the lovely newlywed couple arguing about?" she asks ordering us some drinks. I groan unsure if asking her would be right but, Helen was one of the few people who did not see me as 'the monster.' "Audrey," I turn away feeling a bit uncomfortable with saying the rest. "what did Miss Audrey do?" she asks. "Did she admit marrying you was an arranged thing?" she asks. I shake my head "No, that's not it." I answer. "Did she call your thing small?" she pokes. I frown "No!" I grunt. She cackles "Sorry, go ahead." The bartender sets a glass of bourbon in front of me. I take the glass and sigh "She was submitting during sex." I whisper the end not wanting her to hear me. I quickly down the alcohol "And? Did you accept her submission?" She asks. I frown "No," I answer. Her eyes grow wide "What do you mean no!?" she asks. I take the next glass and nod "I did not like her doing that." I explain. She sighs "Oh man I bet Audrey feels like shit right now." she murmurs. "I see any form of submission as somebody admitting they are weak," I explain. Helen sighs ordering another glass. "Oh man, I feel for Audrey." she looks at me. "How did you do it?" She asks leaning closer. "W...well I just stepped away and asked why," I explain my actions. She sips her drink and nods "Did she answer you?" she asks. I nod "Yeah," I answer shortly unsure if telling her everything was right. "Alright, Out with it! what did she say!?" Helen demands. I tell her what Audrey said and earn myself a deep disappointed sigh. "Oh, sweet summer child." she pinches the bridge of her nose. "I swear some men are so dense even if they are caring," she grumbles. "why would she feel it right to give up like that?" I question. Helen shakes her head "She wasn't giving up." she answers. "Submission in bed and submission in battle is so different," she whispers. "how?" I question finding them to be the same. "In battle one submits to those stronger than them or when they are close to losing." She explains something I already know very well. "During sex, a woman submitting is like entrusting their body and pleasure to you. They feel safe letting their partner take control of the situation." Her explanation seemed so different. Audrey's reaction suddenly made so much sense now.  'I was refusing her trust.' I feel like such an idiot. "Well, I think you need to apologize for that." she sighs "But that later! we can drink the stupidity away for now!" she laughs.