𝐀 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑 - 𝐦. 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮

𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 (𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭) | 𝟒𝟏

exclusive look at his crash-out 😋🫶

<3

atsumu was mortified, so mortified he couldn't look you in the eyes for four full days. every time he thought about the way he handled things he cringed.

'i'm taking a rain check this time.'

what was he? 10? it was embarrassing. even so, it didn't make him any less upset than he was the day he'd figured it out; that you'd been canceling on him to be with kita.

it shouldn't have bothered him so much, but it did.

atsumu didn't mean to stare. honest, but there was something about the way you smiled at kita, all sweet and easy, like it was the most natural thing in the world-that made it impossible to look away.

kita was usually so quiet and reserved, and yet there he was, standing so close your shoulder touched his. what bothered him the most was the way you leaned into it as you talked, like you wanted to be there.

atsumu grit his teeth and tore his eyes away before you notice him staring. he had better things to focus on. like practice. or any other thing he could find later.

"you look tense," osamu said, clapping his brother on the back.

atsumu gave him a quick glance before looking away again. "yeah. didn't get good sleep last night." that was a half-truth. he didn't get good sleep last night. the cause? you.

osamu shook his head, letting his hand ease away. "don't let coach know."

"uh-huh," atsumu replied, barely paying attention.

the worst part about all of this wasn't having to physically be near you or being forced to watch as you casually talked to his team. no, it was going home after practices and wondering what you were doing.

after that little outburst in the storage room, neither of you had asked about tutoring, and neither of you  had any intentions of doing so. it was some sort of unspoken agreement to give each other space.

to give you space. really, the last thing atsumu wanted was space, but he kept doing things that pushed you away.

though he couldn't help but wonder if while he was at home, you were with kita. it was starting to spiral and he was helpless to stop it.

for days, he just watched, stole glances at you whenever he could because he didn't know what else to do if he couldn't talk to you. most of the time you weren't watching, but every now and then you caught him.

atsumu never looked away though. he would let his eyes linger for a while. and you always stared back, your eyes a little sharper than they were before. it killed him-that look, the one that told him you were mad at him.

he wanted to cut this game short, wanted to fix whatever was wrong with you two. but he couldn't. every time he tried talking to you he felt his own frustration bubble up and he always ended up being snappier than he intended to.

like today.

the tension just seemed to boil over with no way to stop it.

everyone was getting some reps in. atsumu was setting while everyone was either hitting or on the other side passing.

you were tossing for him.

he didn't know what it was. maybe you were distracted, or tired, but after a while your tosses grew sloppy.

"toss it higher," he told you, avoiding your gaze.

"i'm trying," you muttered under your breath, but he'd caught it.

a few more tosses later atsumu turned to you, an exasperated sigh slipping past his lips. "switch with him," he told you, gesturing over to the other manager.

atsumu felt bad the instant he said it, but he couldn't stand it. and it wasn't the tosses. no, the tosses were fine. he could adjust to them, what he couldn't adjust to was you. atsumu didn't know how he was supposed to be near you when he knew you guys weren't okay.

you furrowed your brows. "i've got it," you insisted. "besides, your passes won't always be perfect. shouldn't you get used to-"

"y/n." his tone was flat, but it was clearly a warning. he felt his chest tighten when you looked at him-so unsure and hurt. you blinked and looked around.

everyone was staring at you, so wordlessly, you let the other manager take over.

call it self-sabotage, call it plain ignorance, but whatever it was, atsumu couldn't seem to stop. he kept saying things that made you look at him the same way every time-hurt, angry, confused.

everyone resumed practice afterwards, but atsumu couldn't stop replaying the moment in his head.

-

when practice was over he plopped down onto the bench, his jaw tight and his shoulders tense. he made quick work of his gear, shoving it in his back with enough force to earn a few wary glances.

"dude, what's up with you?" suna mumbled, only partially interested in what his teammate had to say.

luckily for him, atsumu had no intention of fessing up. he only shrugged. "nothing."

kita, who was next to him studied him for a second before speaking up. "you might've been a bit harsh on her, don't you think?" his voice was quiet, filled with a firm calmness that grated on atsumu's nerves.

atsumu's fists clenched involuntarily. he didn't want to hear it. he didn't want advice from anyone, especially not kita.

it was strange. atsumu had always been confident, self-assured. now, he was doubting himself at every turn—comparing himself to kita even when he'd never been an issue before.

"what?" atsumu spat, turning to kita. "it wasn't harsh. she was just..- actually, just mind your own business, kita."

the words came out sharp and fast. kita didn't flinch though. he just calmly met atsumu's gaze. the little gesture instantly made atsumu soften, his anger dying out.

atsumu turned away, leaning forward and rubbing his temples. "i didn't mean that," he sighed. "i'm sorry, kita."

"it's okay."

"okay, now i actually need to know what's up with you," suna said, making the rest of his team nod.

atsumu shook his head, shame burning through his veins. what was he doing? making a scene in front of his whole team like that?

osamu shot him a worried look, one that atsumu quickly brushed off. he had to get out of here.

atsumu abruptly stood up, his bag draped over his shoulder. before leaving, he turned to kita. "i'm sorry, again. really, i-"

"you're fine," kita said calmly.

atsumu sighed, running a tired hand through his hair before hurrying out the gym.

he was a mess. confident, put-together, volleyball prodigy miya atsumu was a mess over you.

<3