Your Nickle Ain't Worth My Dime (A Sleeping with Sirens fan fiction)

Do You Think About Me

*Jeydon's POV*

10 o'clock at night and I admit my feelings to then girl I'm in love with. She didn't say anything back. It sucks, quite frankly. I walked out of her house, my hood hopefully hiding my face. I didn't want anybody to see that I was crying. Crying over somebody who I shouldn't be.

But I couldn't help it. I may have just ruined a perfectly perfect friendship. I wanted to go back and change it, but I would look stupid. Anyways, I heard Mariah's iPod start blaring music through the window.

I say down on the curb, taking as deep a breath as I could. It was shaky and hurt my throat. I couldn't hold it in, though. I wasn't good at that like Mariah was. She barely ever cried, and wish I knew how she did it. I feel like it would be a lot easier, to just never cry. But not crying didn't mean that you didn't hurt.

The street light flickered on above my head, coating everything in a dull orange glow. Somebody touched my back, causing me to jump nearly a foot in the air.

"Jey, what happened?" Jamie asked, sitting down next to me.

"I told her, and rejection fothermucking sucks," I told her, resting my eblows on my knees and burying my face in my hands. I felt like I was going through a break-up, you know? I was trying so hard to get over somebody who had never been mine to begin with. It made no sense.

"Aw, honey. I can't believe that. Did she say why?" She rubbed my back. She was always a good person to talk to during these kinds of things. She would eat tubs of ice cream with you and watch Titanic. She would listen to everything you needed to say, and then help distract you so you wouldn't think about it. She was a really great best friend.

"She... she didn't exactly flat out reject me," I admitted as King For a Day came through the Mariah's window. I was always amazed at how loud she could listen to her music and not go deaf. When she was angry, she could even show Jamie up, which was pretty difficult.

"Then how do you know that she doesn't feel the same way about you that you feel about her?" I hated to admit it, but that was a damn good point. How did I know? I had just walked out of her room- out of her house- without even letting her respond and process everything I had just told her.

I shrugged. "I guess I don't... But I get that feeling that she will never love me as anything more than a best friend."

She though about this for a second, running her fingers through the ends of her hair and chewing her bottom lip. They were both habits she had picked up from Mariah. "Do you want to just never talk to her again? I mean, I get how you could think that could be an easier way to get over her or something, but don't you think that it might be too good of a friendship to waste? You guys kind of need each other, whether you admit it or not. You guys have seen each other at your worsts, and been the reasons for being at your bests. You can't just throw all of that in the garbage."

My mind flashed back to earlier today, when I had brought Mariah a bowl of macaroni and cheese. I had been trying to make sure that she would get something to eat and had gotten caught up in my jealousy. Maybe we did need each other, considering I had yet to see Mariah eat in the past few days. "I guess you're right," I mumbled, sniffling and wiping my cheeks. "I would honestly rather have her in my life as my best friend than never have her there at all."

"That was cheesy," she sighed, punching my arm lightly. "If you don't mind my asking, what gave you that feeling that she wouldn't return your feelings?"

Last time I had told her about Kellin and Mariah, she had gotten all weird and angry. Should I risk unleashing her anger? She never really seemed to understand the expression 'don't shoot the messenger.' "The whole her and Kellin thing."

Her hand tensed on my back, then she relaxed and sighed. "You said you saw them kiss- what- twice? That doesn't mean that anything is going to really happen between them. Besides, they're all leaving tomorrow, including Kellin."

That was probably the greatest news I had heard in days. Maybe, just maybe we could all go back to normal. But Mariah liked Kellin, and Kellin liked Mariah. There was no way around it. And apparently my mouth had decided to speak my thoughts out loud.That's just wonderful.

"They like each other? Like, something probably is going on between them?" She sounded so angry, but I didn't know why. Either she was mad that Mariah wasn't telling her any of this, or she was jealous of how close Mya and Kellin were.

I had been out here for a few hours now, and now I followed her back inside. She stomped up the steps and threw the front door open. She slammed the door shut when I had barely made it inside. She screamed through her teeth and I covered my ears. This was going to be a long night.

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*Mariah's POV*

Kellin was worried when he heard somebody downstairs and went to get up, but I told him it was only Jamie. Sometimes, everybody just needed to scream.

Then, she stormed into my room and started yelling at me. "Are you kidding me? Do you think you're the only one?"

Kellin took this as a sign to leave, getting up and feeling from my room. Way to be supportive.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"You don't even get it! He wasn't only your celebrity crush! He isn't only your idol! Why do you think that you get him? That's not fair!" She started pacing around my room and running her hands through her hair. I chewed on my lip, still confused. "You're supposed to be my best friend, but you don't get it! You know, lately you've been all about yourself! Why are you so self-centered? Huh? You just think you're a big shot because you're dating Kellin Quinn?"

"Jay, I'm not-"

"Save it, okay? Look, Jeydon told me everything. I know it all! You've only been worried about what Kellin's gonna think or say or do. You don't care that maybe, by doing that, you're hurting your best friends! Do you? Jeydon is heart broken, and I wouldn't be standing here pissed off and yelling if I wasn't too! He isn't only yours! He wasn't yours to begin with and he should not be yours now!"

My eyes burned, like I was going to cry, but I wouldn't do that. Not in front of her. 96% of the time that I was around her, I felt bad about myself, and she didn't even try then. Now, she was standing in front of me and telling me how I wasn't good enough. And the ever present voice in my head was saying the same thing. She couldn't know that, though. I couldn't tell her. I couldn't let her know that she had gotten to me. I'd cried to much today. It wasn't going to happen anymore.

"Get out," I growled.

"Gladly," she snapped, slamming the door behind her.

I was left alone, and feeling horrible. Not only was the normal feeling of not being enough reassured, but I felt empty. I felt like I had disappointed everybody I had ever loved in a few hours. I felt as if I had no reason to live. My two best friends, who I basically spent most of my time with, hated me.

But then I remembered somebody who I could talk to that didn't hate me, and I didn't mean Jeydon's cat, even though Mokus was pretty trustworthy.

I pulled my laptop out from underneath my bed and opened it, putting in my headphones and going on Skype. I definitely wished Damon were up here right now.  

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*A/N thanks for reading, loves. One of the next two chapters might be kind a filler. Well, there was a lot of drama in this one. Please KEEP READING, COMMENT, and VOTE. thanks (: xoxo