Welcome back. You're that girl again, plus a big hole in your heart. I've always supposed loving is the greatest feeling ever, but it's not. If you love you get hurt ...and so love sucks.
Nothingness. That's the greatest feeling of all. It's a pure nothing, it doesn't make you happier, it doesn't hurt you. It leaves you exactly how you are.
That's what i want, but I'm hurt and my tears are all gone so all I've got left is hate. And i hate with all of my soul. He brought me to this state, and it's not his fault. It's mine, for letting him in.
I'm free now though. I'm not thinking about him when strangers kiss or f.uck me. I'm too drunk or high to think about anything.
"You ok?" Charlotte asks as i come from the showers. "Yeah." I say applying tons of make up.
"You've been acting weird since you changed majors. Are you sure you're fine?" She insists and I'm getting tired of hearing this question already.
"I said I'm fine." I apply red lipstick and give some volume to my hair. "Where are you going?" Can someone please shut her mouth?
"I don't think it's any of your businesses." I say taking my phone and getting out.
I see another missed calls from Michael. It's been two weeks since i last talked to him, but i can't tell him anything. He needs to focus on his school, not on my problems.
"Hey you ok?" I meet Jake on the hallway while getting out of the campus. "Can you please stop asking that question? I'm fine." I say passing by him.
I don't need anyone. There's only one guy who can make it all better. And I'll mee him in my daily walk in the park.
"You got them?" I ask as i see him. Bold and bearded, he has exactly what i need.
"Got the money?" He asks and i smirk rolling my eyes. "Double today." I speak and he smirks himself.
"Double the sum, then." He says and i nod. "Of course dummy. Now give them to me." I put the money in his hand as i hold i for a couple of seconds.
He puts the money in his pocket and then he gives me his hand to trade. "Good to see you." He kisses my cheek and leaves.
I smile feeling the six little pills in my hand. I put five in my jacket and before i walk in a club i gulp the one from my hand.
It feels so good to not feel at all. I take another pill just to emphasize the effect. I see a cute guy and walk towards him. As people are dancing, i feel him grinding on me and i let him. We kiss and kiss.
"Come to my place" he suggests and i nod. He kisses me everywhere, but i feel nothing. I just wanna be alone, but at the same time i wanna be with someone. So this is perfect. We get out of the club and it's so night i barely see. Not to mention the effect of the pills and alcohol.
Another guy comes and pins me on the wall kissing me as well. They are both so needy and i let them. One slips his hand in my pants and the only thing that bothers me is that we are on a street.
"Wait to get to his place at least." I speak and they both groan.
"There's no one here princess. Let's just f.uck here." They said and started sucking on my skin harder.
YOU ARE READING
Teach me (L. Hemmings Smut FF)
Fanfiction"You thought it was impossible and yet you fell in love with me..." "you taught me how to love" "and then you died. Teach me how to live without you." "I can't do that now babe."
