Teach me (L. Hemmings Smut FF)

Chapter 24

People say that with time it gets easier, but it's not the case for me, not when I keep see him. I always find a moment in a week that I just happen to see him on the corner if the street and when I blink he disappears again.

I missed so much school this year they say I have to go everyday from now on if I wanna graduate, but how can I go back there when I first saw him? How can I go back to that class where he taught? How can I do that?

I look like crap and everyone stares at me as I drag my feet to the principal office.

As I walk inside I see Ashton wearing a black shirt and his eyes widen as he sees me.

"Y/N..." He whispers and the moment I see him I remember Luke again. I feel my eyes filled with salty water and he stands up from his seat.

"Shh, it's okay sweetie." He wraps his arms around me and now I begin to sob even harder. "I miss him Ashton." I say through the hiccups.

"Me too." He caresses my hair and then cups my head making me look into his eyes. "But you need to move on Y/N, it's been a month... you are young and have a whole life out there waiting for you." He says and brushes his thumb under my eyes wiping my tears.

"I miss him more everyday." I try not to cry but it's such an impossible thing to do.

"Oh, sweetheart, I know but you need to let him go." He kisses my forehead and hugs me again.

"I can't Ashton, I still love him." I take a deep breath. "If you move on it doesn't mean you don't love him. He will always be my best buddy, I spent all of my life with him, Y/N, it hurts like hell when I think he won't be there at my wedding ...or when I will have kids and all that stuff. It hurts Y/N ... But my life can't stop with his, he would want us to be strong for him and to move on with our life. I know he wanted you to graduate so much ... So you need to stop grieving and start living again." He takes my hands and I find myself nodding.

"Everything I do... reminds me of him." I whisper and he smiles a little. "Have you gone to his house since he died?" He asks and the words cut straight through my heart. "No .. I-i couldn't.." I whisper wiping my tears.

"You should do that, you should let it all out there." He says and I hug him again. It feels so good to be in the arms of someone who gets my suffering.

And I knew I should go back to Luke's old house so after I gave everything in me to participate to all of the classes that day ... I finally drove to his house.

As I stay in the drive way my heart pounds so hard. I remember the first times I came here for him to tutor me at math ... I would've always called him when I was at his front door. I couldn't even enter in the house without him opening the door for me.

I look at my phone and for some stupid reason I dial his number.
"Hey it's Luke, I'm probably bussy right now, but leave a message and I'll try to get back to you." The moment I heard his voice all the strength I built in this time while not talking to anyone, collapsed ... Every dime of little strength fade away the minute his voice break to my ears.

I couldn't do it, I couldn't go back to the house where he made love to me ..where I fell in love .. I couldn't do it.

I drive away from that house and I will go crazy if I go home again.

I park the car in front if the building and notice a familiar bar there.

I lock the car and go inside taking a seat at the bar.