Teach me (L. Hemmings Smut FF)

Chapter 48

I roll my eyes entering. I still can't believe this is happening.
"Since when can dead people talk?" I ask turning around to face him and he closes the door taking quickly a jumper that clings there.
"You're drunk Y/n." He says not moving a muscle. I can't control my actions and so i start laughing.
"No shit, Sherlock." I watch him closely though my vision is a little blurred.

"You shouldn't be here Y/n." He whispers and it feels like he just likes to piss me off.
"You know who shouldn't be here Luke? You! You are the one. It's you." I can't even watch him and so i start stumbling around his flat. I open a door and i can tell I'm in his kitchen. F.uck even these vessels are in such order. He has his life back while I'm just ... Not even me.

"Fuck you Luke!" I shout opening a drawer and starting messing with his spoons throwing them on the floor.
"Fuck your pretty new life!" I say throwing on the floor everything i can grab. I find the plates and i can tell i will enjoy this.

"Why aren't you dead?" I ask throwing a plate towards him and i can see him flinching stepping away from the shattered pieces.
"Y/n, i can explain baby-"
"Don't just- Don't call me that!" I say throwing another plate.
"I was hurt Luke! I thought you were dead! I f.ucking visited your grave everytime i got the chance, everytime i wanted to talk to someone!! I lost a piece of me when they told be you died so you can save me while you were having the time of your life here!! Fuck this Hemmings! I fucking hate you!" I scream throwing plates at the end of each sentence.

He had his eyes full of tears and my drunkenness turned into anger.
"I know. I know and you have every right to but it wasn't the time of-"
"I don't need any f.ucking rights to hate you Luke! I don't want them! I wanted you and you let me think you were dead. All i wanted was you... Wasn't i good enough for you? Why'd you tell me you loved me then? What the f.uck is wrong with me that made you leave me like that?!" I want to throw the last plate i find, but he comes and takes it out of my hands and pulls me in his arms.

I can't even tell what I'm feeling, i wanted this, i wanted to feel him. I can't even tell if this is a dream. What the heck am i doing? I feel hot tears streaming down on my cheeks and my inner voice is screaming in my head.

Why are you crying? Don't do it! He needs to explain it to you!
"Leaving you was the hardest thing i ever did." He whispers and i feel his heart beating so hard in his chest.

I can't- i need to leave before i will make a mistake.
I push him away with all the strength i had left and speak. "Then why'd you do it? - and don't give me the it was all for you bullshit because i don't think i can take one more of your stupid things." I step back from him, i can't let him touch me again. I can't let him in again even though I'm so desperate for his voice, his touch, his smell, his everything.

"I wanted to tell you tonight, I swear I wanted, but I couldn't ruin your night." He says as a tear escapes his eye.
"Ruin my night?" I start laughing "RUIN MY NIGHT? ..WHAT ABOUT MY LAST 10 MONTHS HUH? HAVE YOU ONCE THOUGHT THAT YOU RUINED THOSE?!" I yell not being able to control myself because everything i knew turned out to be just a lie.

He looks at me speechless and i roll my eyes starting walking towards the door.
"You know... I thought we had something special. Turns out you don't even have the decency to tell me why'd you lie to me? Or for that matter of fact, you say that you wanted to talk to me tonight, but you didn't even bother to look for -" My words stop when I enter in a bedroom by mistake and see a Batman costume lying on an armchair.

My heart beats increase and i feel the air in this room is being sucked out. He was there. He was that mysterious freaking guy i was so damn attracted to.
"I wanted to tell you the whole thing tonight, but then i heard you wanted to get drunk and i knew it wasn't the right time."
He says behind me. I cannot see his face right now.