"Y/n." He says after he gets dressed. "Yeah?" "We could be making sparks...you just have to let us ignite."
"
"If I let us ignite we'll lose each other in the flames." I whisper and he nods slowly. "Ok... if that's what you really want. I'll stop looking for you."
"I didn't say that." I say quickly.
"You sure, because I'm pretty sure you don't even know what you want." He sounds a little pissed off.
"Because I don't. But that doesn't mean I want you completely out of my life..."
"Ok, I don't know what to say to you. By now I probably promised all the things I could and I apologized for so long, I've stepped on my vanity and humiliated myself in front of you like I've never done it before with anyone else. If you didn't understand I love you and I'd do anything for you by now, I guess I'm just wasting my time here." He travels his hand to his head rubing his temple.
"All I need is more time." I say and he nods looking at me studying my face like it will be the last time he'll see me. He closes the door slowly behind me and leaves me in the now cold room.
What just happened?
I can't believe we did that. I missed him ... godammit is like I want to do that over and over again. He let you think he's dead for almost a year. He could do so much worse things to you. My inner voice rings. But I know he's sorry, and if it wasn't for that stupid Rachel girl he wouldn't have done anything.
Things just got weird. Tomorrow we have the last week of school and then we have the winter break. How should I act this week? How should I speak to Luke? Because this just happened and I'm just not sure of anything.
As I stare at the four walls I start thinking about Luke and how we got to get together in the first place. There were the tutoring lessons, then we had our first contact and he pushed me away. I remember he didn't want to tutor me anymore and I failed the exam, causing Ashton to get mad because I was the disappointment of the school and he told Luke to tutor me the whole summer. Oh, that summer, I remember how pissed I used to be at Luke for not giving me the attention I needed, until one day when he finally gave in and that's when he let me in the first time.
That summer was one of the best summers. I remember spending the days at his place messing around and getting more and more attached to him. Then I remembered senior year and how we started on the wrong foot. Ashton caught us for the first time and that was also when Rachel came into the picture. I remember confessing my feelings to Luke and fighting with him on the love subject. He eventually apologized and actually had let me know he felt the same way about me. Oh, I remember his sick idea that every single girl he loved, died because of him and I remember how I felt when I woke up for the first time in the hospital after that truck hit me. He left in London thinking I'll be more safe without him. That's when I met Michael.
After convincing Luke that nothing could tear us apart and I convinced him I wouldn't die because he loved me, I ended up in the hospital again for helping Michael with that gang money problem.
I remember how happy we were when we wasted time staying in bed and loving eachother. I remember how happy he made me when he said we should go to Jenny's party. I just knew that after that one, people would've finally know about us.
Right when everything went so perfectly, when we both were head over heels about one another, I had to lose him. That bitch, Rachel had to come and ruin our lives. We could've had it all, but instead all I can remember from the next period of time are tears darkness and Michael.
And now, now I once again tasted from the happiness I had craved and I'm afraid I'll lose that again.
****
"Wake up!" I heard Charlotte's voice in the background. My head hurt for sleeping so little.
"Ughh" I groan not wanting to leave the bed. "What happened?" She asks me like she somehow knows he was here.
"Huh?" I open my eyes slowly and the bright light makes me close them back.
"Peterson out. New architecture professor. Old lady bitch. So what happened?" She asks and I don't exactly comprehend anything.
YOU ARE READING
Teach me (L. Hemmings Smut FF)
Fanfiction"You thought it was impossible and yet you fell in love with me..." "you taught me how to love" "and then you died. Teach me how to live without you." "I can't do that now babe."
