taraji h.
by the time we pulled up winter was already halfway out her seat. i couldn't even put the car in park first.
"you said it was a surprise so it better not be no weird candle or book."
"girl you complain about everything." autumn said in a irritated tone. i wanted to agree, but that would only lead to winter reading me for filth so i stayed quiet.
i smirk, opening the back door "well, it ain't a candle or book."
i unbuckled bryce and tucked him up against me. he getting heavier by the day but still soft. still my baby.
the front door cracks open before we can even knock.
beyoncé stood there with 2 robes on so they wouldn't notice she was showing. she aint say nothing at first. just looked at me, then down at bryce, then over at our girls.
"y'all took your time" she says.
"they was arguing about surprises."
"mm" bey hummed, "well, this one's worth it."
we step in, and the kids head straight for the living room like they always do. shoes off. snacks in mind, but what they aint ready for is what comes next.
bey looked at me, soft and steady. "you wanna tell 'em?"
"nah, you can pretty—autumn, winter!" i call out. "come sit down real quick."
"okay, but where's the surprise?" winter asked impatiently.
"we getting to it win, relax princess." i looked over at bey giving her a reassuring nod.
"so, i wanted to show you guys something finally..." bey said, removing one of the robes. she stepped forward then untied the other robe just enough. it's clear now. huge.
autumn blinked. winter opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
"sooo..." i start. "thats the surprise..."
bey rubs her belly slow.
"you're... pregnant?" autumn says it first, cautious.
"yes," bey replies gently. "eight months."
"EIGHT?!" winter screams, like we personally betrayed her.
"you was HIDING a WHOLE BABY?!" she throws a pillow at the floor like it offended her, "mama that is insane"
"it wasn't hiding," i say, trying not to laugh. "it was private. now it's y'all's turn to know."
autumn's eyes go wide. "is it a girl or a boy?"
"we don't know yet," bey says. "we wanted to be surprised too."
bryce stares at her belly like it's a TV screen. his little hand reaches for it and just rests there. bey places her hand on his, smiling softly. "you gon' be a big brother, baby."
winter leaned over, whispering in my ear, "what does loser tasia think about you hiding that baby in there?"
"i- winter, just enjoy the moment." i rolled my eyes and shook my head.
"please stop rolling your eyes, that's not a good look."
"whatever winter. lets change the subject, are you happy?"
"yes because now im gonna be a big sister again. i get to boss bryce and the new baby around now."
i laughed softly and so did bey. this girl is a mess and i hope she never changes.
autumn slid over and placed her ear against bey's belly. "i heard something."
"that was probably your stomach," winter says, still salty. "you always hungry."
bey laughed and i watched them all there bunched up on the couch, tangled in this new chapter. no fear. no awkwardness. just love, stretching itself around the unexpected.
and me? i just sit back and let it wash over me. this is the part no one could take. the life we built, loud and full and honest. and the baby? just the beginning.
****
the kids are at the table. mouths full, plates loud. winter keep reaching over to steal fries off autumn's plate. bryce is still focused on his juice box like it's the only thing that matters.
bey's leaning against the counter beside me, her robe replaced by a soft knit set, belly more noticeable now that she stopped hiding it. i'm watching the way she watches them. her hand resting low, fingers moving slow like she's already holding something that ain't here yet.
"they took it good," i murmur, keeping my voice low.
she turns her head just enough to glance at me. "mm-hmm. better than i expected. i thought winter was gon' throw somethin' for real."
"she still might," i say, lips curving. "she dramatic like you."
bey side-eyes me. "i'm dramatic?"
"extremely."
she lets that sit for a beat, then smiles. soft. the kind that sneaks in. "you nervous?"
i don't answer right away. the kids are laughing again. autumn asking bryce if he wants to name the baby "donut." i close my eyes for a second.
"not about the baby," i say finally. "not about us."
bey hums. "then what?"
i swallow. "fantasia don't know."
her body stills beside me. "you think that matters?" she asks.
"it shouldn't," i say. "but yeah... yeah, i think it will."
bey doesn't speak at first. just watches the kids. watches bryce's little hands grip the edge of his plate. she loved him the second she saw him, even with all the history that came with him. never flinched. never made me explain twice.
"you scared she gon' be mad?" she asks.
i shake my head. "i'm scared she gon' be hurt."
bey turns to face me now, fully. "you still tryin' to protect her."
"i'm tryna protect all of us," i say. "i don't want no drama touchin' them more than it already has." i nod toward the table. her gaze softens again but it don't back down.
"i know what you had with her," she says, quiet. "and i'm not jealous of it. not even threatened but if you're still carrying guilt more than love... you gotta name that. you gotta know the difference."
i lean back against the counter, exhale through my nose.
"i do love her," i admit. "but i love you even more." she looks at me for a long time. then nods.
"then tell her. don't wait till she hears it from somebody else."
"i will."
the clatter of a fork hitting the floor pulls our eyes back to the table. bryce stares down like he committed a crime. autumn gasps like she's in a courtroom. winter rolls her eyes and says, "it's just a fork, dang."
we both laugh. the tension thins just enough to breathe again. bey reaches for my hand, laces her fingers with mine, then presses our joined palms to her stomach.
"they gonna love this baby," she says. "and whatever don't... we'll handle it."
i nod. "we always do."
