taraji h.
it was time for my babies to go back home. of course autumn and winter didn't wanna go back, but since it's not my week i gotta take them back. it's not my weekend for bryce either.
"will we be able to come back with and have movie night with bey?" winter asked. my mouth damn near hit the ground... she never really likes anyone so her wanting to do that with bey means alot.
i smile and nod. "of course we can."
we stopped at a red light. this is the time where winter says whatever is on her chest and im all ears everytime even when its something about me... good or bad.
"so, how are yall really feeling about the baby?"
"i'm excited. i can't wait to hold them." autumn squealed. them?
"i really like bey. she's really pretty and nice" winter spoke causing autumn to side eye her.
"you... like someone? that's new."
i just smiled without saying a word.
"okay enough of the sad stuff. when is the baby's shower mama?"
"in two weeks." she gave a small nod and sat back in her seat. the rest of the car ride was silent other than the music humming low.
we pulled into toyas driveway and stepped out. the porch lights already flickering on. i barely get up to the door before the shit swings open. toya standing there with one eyebrow raised, lips pursed like she holding back a smart-ass remark.
"look who remembered where her kids live."
i smirk. "don't start."
"you dropped them off at 6:20 last time. i am starting."
autumn and winter brushed past her like they own the place. toya stepped aside, watching them go with a tired kind of affection, then glances back at me.
"everything good?"
i shrug. "you know how it is."
"nah," she says, eyeing me. "you look like you got something on your chest."
i force a smile. "just long day, that's all."
she nods, not buying it but not pushing either. "alright, they'll see you next week. drive safe. goodnight."
"will do. goodnight."
****
i pulled up slow, gravel cracking under the tires like the earth itself knows something heavy's coming. bryce sleep in the back, lips parted, one arm flopped over his stuffed lion. peaceful in a way i never could be, not in this moment. i cut the engine and sit for a second, hands gripping the wheel. there's no music. no breeze. just the hum of tension sitting between my ribs.
i got out and unbuckled him before lifting him carefully and holding him against my chest. before i can knock, fantasia opens the door. she barefoot, no makeup, curls wild around her face, eyes sharper than i remember. like sleep didn't visit her last night, but clarity did. the kind that don't let you rest. she sees bryce and everything about her softens.
"baby," she breathes, reaching for him instinctively. she scooped him up, cradling him like her body remembers the weight of him even when her heart tries to forget mine.
i watch her for a moment. just long enough to remind myself what i gave up.
"can we talk?" i ask.
she doesn't move at first. then nods, stepping aside. "come in."
i followed her in. she doesn't offer me a seat. just shifts bryce gently in her arms as he nestles his face into her shoulder. i cleared my throat.
"i need to tell you something before you heard it from someone else."
"what?"
i look at bryce. he too far gone in his nap to hear anything, but my chest tightens anyway.
"beyoncé's pregnant."
the silence that follows is heavier than any scream. she aint blinked or flinch.
just says, "how far?"
"eight months."
she closed her eyes for a second. not because she's surprised but because it still hurt. when she opened em she walked over to the couch and gently put bryce down, covering him with the little blanket near the armrest. she kissed his forehead before she turns back to me.
"why now?"
"because i didn't want you to hear it from somebody else and you deserve better than that."
"you think telling me when it's too late is better?"
"i think... i didn't want to be cruel."
"you were! maybe not intentionally but you were."
she folds her arms, head tilted. "you got a whole family now, huh?"
i didn't answer. she stepped closer. "i carried your son. i survived you, and now you show up on my doorstep like you still get to explain yourself."
i swallow, chest tightening. "ion wanna fight, tasia"
"i'm not fighting. i'm just done pretending like you didn't change my whole life and then walk away from it."
i nod slowly. "you right," i say. "you did all that and you still standing stronger than i ever saw you."
her jaw tensed. "i just thought you deserved the truth."
she studies me. then, softer, but not weak: "thank you for bringing him back."
i nod. "i'll see you."
i turn to go but before i step outside, she speaks again.
"i hope you treat her better than you treated me with and without the baby."
i pause. nod once. but i don't look back. some truths don't deserve answers. some just need to be heard.
