taraji h.
"this is our last session. how are you feeling and what did you learn from those months of coming?"
"i feel good i can't lie. i learned that the things i thought were normal wasn't. i thought i was doing good by the pills, but in reality i was still dealing with other things while trying to cover it up with a smile or a pill. i threw those pills away months ago in case you didn't know."
"wow, did you?" she smiled.
"i did. i hesitated to do so, but i wanted to see my progress without them, you know?"
"and from what i've seen you've progressed alot. came in on ten, leaving out on one. i love that for you, taraji. i want you to stay that way ma'am. don't let anything or anyone get you out of your character. you've worked too hard on yourself to become the best version of yourself and we're gonna keep it that way, deal?"
"deal." i shook her hand and we stood up.
"have a great day. i'm always one call away so if you need anything don't hesitate."
"you my therapist, you know that right?" i smirked.
"yeah, don't i know it. hm. call me for anything seriously."
"i got you." she held my hand until i walked out. i had to get win and autumn from school and drop them off to toya then ask my mama to pick up bryce from tasia.
when i found out tasia and bryce was moving out i was so heartbroken i crashed out and ended up running my car somewhere in a ditch. the pills nor alcohol could help with how that made me feel so i decided to put that down and take the therapist my granny assigned me to seriously. i went to her 6 months ago and today was the last session in which it now makes 8 months altogether. i'm a better version of myself now.
i smiled big when i saw win and autumn running to the car, "hey big heads." i hugged them both and then opened their doors. autumn got in the front and winter sat in the back. i got inside and drove off.
"mama could we please stop at chipotle?" autumn asked.
"we can."
"i don't want chipotle."
"so what winter. i want it so ask for something else."
"okay, so, chipotle for autumn. what do you want win?" these two never have peace around each other.
"crab legs."
"oh you eating that at toya house." the last time i bought them seafood my house smelled like it for weeks. not doing that again.
"okay, are you gonna come back to pick me up?"
"my week is over, princess. it's friday. i will see yall next week though."
"no, i don't wanna stay with mommy."
"winter, you got to. i know you don't like it, but you gotta stay. it's only a week and we'll be back with each other in no time, okay?"
"...okay."
"don't be sad because it's gonna make me sad and i don't wanna be sad. we can have some fun before you guys go with your mom. give me some ideas."
"ouu we could go to skyzone!" winter shouted.
"is that what both of you wanna do?"
"yes!" they said in sync.
"alright, so, what im gonna do is take yall to toya to put yall things down, eat, take a bath, change, and then come back to pick yall up when toya calls me. in the meantime im gonna go and pick up bryce so he could go with us. sounds like a plan?"
"yes"
"great. let's do it." i stopped to get all 3 of them food and then made my way over to toyas house. i grabbed their book bags and took them inside. it smelled like toya was already cooking, "i could've saved my money."
"no offense, but we don't want mommy's cooking."
"what's wrong with my cooking?" toya popped up startling win and autumn.
"oh nothing. it's the best cooking in the world." winter so fake.
"yeah, go ahead and eat yall food. i love yall."
"we love you too." they walked away and i put their book bags on the stair handle.
"i'm coming to pick them up to go to skyzone in like a hour. make sure winter actually get in the tub and not bath in the sink."
"the sink?"
"yes, whenever she's excited to go somewhere she wipes her arms in the sink and puts on clothes. i just so happen to catch her doing it."
"now that's foul. i'll call you when they're ready though."
"bet."
"hey, wait..." she lightly grabbed my hand stopping me in my tracks. Was o
"wassup."
"how you doing?"
"im good"
"im asking because you know the last time i saw you, it couldn't tell me my name."
"shit i couldn't even tell you what my name was. im good though foreal. better than ever actually."
"okay, just wanted to know. have a good day."
"you too. see you later."
once i left there i saw that bryce's food was cold so i threw it away and went to get him a hot happy meal. i pulled into tasia's driveway and hopped out with his food. i knocked, waiting for the door to swing open. i was all smiles when i saw my big head baby at the entrance.
"hey, papa!" i picked him up and covered his face in kisses. i haven't held my baby in a week. i walked in and fantasia closed the door behind me, "i got you some food."
"hey, i scheduled him a haircut appointment tomorrow at four. i thought you were gonna come saturday."
"i was, but since i'm taking win and autumn to skyzone i figured i'll bring him too. you cool with that?" i was only asking because i was actually supposed to get him on saturday and sunday. friday's were hers too.
"yeah, it's fine."
"ayo tasia?" her DL boyfriend called her name, "wassup raji"
"sup" i simply said and went back to feeding bryce.
"yeah, baby?"
"im going out with the boys. when i come back i want you in that green set i bought, got it?"
"of course." they kissed and he left. usually i'd get jealous, but i accepted it months ago. she wasn't mine and i wasn't hers. we've both moved on for the better. i just haven't found the perfect partner yet and that's fine. im in no rush to do so. if anything i'm better off by myself.
"we gonna get going. tell mommy goodbye big boy"
"ill see you next week handsome face. i love you" he waved her goodbye.
"hey, next week let me keep him please. just this one week."
"what? that's seven days of me not seeing him."
"i only see my baby twice every weekend. imagine how i feel only having him for two days and then he's gone for five. all im asking for is one week."
"not this week, but next week."
"aight" we left and chilled at my house until toya called me to pick up autumn and win. after getting them we went straight to skyzone. i just let them play until they were worn out. winter did end up throwing up because of the food she ate and all of the jumping she had been doing. other than that we had a time. i took them back to toya and bryce went with me.
no partying, no drinks ( yet), no pills, no insane tactics. just being a mom, taking care of my kids and living my life to the fullest. life is good right now.
