dancing on the edge | p.t.v {book 2}

Chapter Sixty-Two: The Pain Is Blinding

(Note: I am not rewriting or adding the fight scene, pretty much all of you should know what goes down, but if not, the prologue of my first story contains it, k.)

Chapter Sixty-Two: The Pain Is Blinding

That final fight was still clear in my mind. I stood at the door, my arm was above my head, as I rested my forehead in the door. I was sucking in deep breaths, and fighting with all my will to not open the door again. The look on his face was etched into my eyelids, and I was terrified to even blink, because each time I did all I could see was the tears leaking from his eyes. My own vision was clouded from the non stop stream of tears. When I heard the first crash come from inside the apartment, I let out a soft whine, before pushing myself off the door, stumbling over the mat, before making a break for the stairs. I was trying to hold the sobs that were leaking out of my mouth, as I practically stumbled down the stairs. I pushed open the door, wiping my arm across my eyes, hoping to move some of the liquid, so I could see everything in front of me again. It lasted for a second, before more tears piles up again. I ripped open my car door, sobbing as I did so. I threw my bag into the passenger seat, and fumbled through it, searching for my keys, sniffing as I went.

I heard the jingle and pulled them outs for shoved them into the ignition, as my breaths came out in shudders. I turned the key and the engined turned over a few times, but wouldn't start. After three shots, I let out a scream of frustration, my fist connecting with the steering wheel.

"Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!" I roared, punching the wheel with each word. I aggressively turned them one more time, before the car spurted to life. I pulled rather recklessly from the curb, barely bothering to watch what was coming. Thankfully, nothing was. It was hard driving when your vision is impaired by the amount of tears rolling down your face. There was multiple moments when I would nearly come to my senses, and pull over, but I was in too fixed on getting home, that I decided risking it would be better. After managing to practically drive blind through San Diego, I made it into the driveway of the house. I park the car and cut off the engine. I sat in the simple silence, before my head fell forward, my forehead banging against the top of the wheel as I collapsed into sobs. I sucked in breaths, finding my throat felt tight and constricted, like the weight of my grief was physically strangling me. I don't even understand how everything could tumble down that fast. First Isabel, then Dad, now my child and Vic. The mere thought of his name made a stab of pain hit my chest, winding me. I couldn't stand the being in the car, so I got out, slamming the door as I went.

I stumbled up to the door, trying my best to wipe away stray tears from my cheeks. I opened the door, and was originally going to slam it behind me, but I didn't want to drag attention to myself. I didn't have the heart to explain it. So, I slowly closed it, and pressed it slowly, until it made a barely audible click into the frame. I slowly backed up, before accidentally kicking the edge of the table, making it bang against the wall.

"Cat?" I looked down the hall like a deer caught in headlights, to see Ryan standing in the doorway. He had a mug of coffee in his hand. He was giving me an easy smile.

"How did the... Cat, are you alright?" Ryan's smile died as he must have noticed my puffy face. I sniffed, and shrugged my shoulders, letting out a nasally chuckle. I was trying to ignore that same sore, tight feeling around my throat.

"Cat?" The concern in Ryan's voice was making it so much worse. I wrapped my arms around myself, looking at my feet, as one foot stuffed the carpet. I bit my bottom lip, shaking my head, feeling tears well up more.

"What did he do?" I heard him take a step forward, but I continued shaking my head. I let out one sob, before running forward. My shoulder bumped against Ryan's as I made a break for the stairs.

"Cat!" He exclaimed in surprised, as I ran up the stairs, my sobs bouncing off the walls. I ran down the small hall, skidding in front of my room, before pulling it open, and slamming it behind me. I fumbled as I reached for the lock. I felt a small sense of relieve as I heard the click.

"Cat, Cat, what happened? Cat!" I heard Ryan's voice on the other side of the door. I shook my head, even though he couldn't see. My hand clamped over my mouth, as I pressed my back against the door, before sliding down it.

"Cat?!" Ryan yelled. I lightly thumped my head on the door, as my shoulder continued shaking. My chest heaved, as I closed my eyes.

"Cat, what's wrong? Is the baby ok?" His question sent me spiralling.

"There is no baby!" I practically screeched. I could hear Ryan's deathly silence through the wood of the door. I curled my knees up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them.

"There's no baby, and now there's no Vic." At the last part, I buried my head into my knees, and continued to cry.

"He left you because you lost the baby?" I could hear the fury in Ryan's voice.

"No, I left him." I sniffed, my nails grasping the sides of my shin, probably leaving slightly painful crescent shapes from my fingernails.

"Why?" He sounded more calm, but I could hear the small tenseness in his voice.

"Because he acted like he didn't care. Ryan, he was almost relieved." I croaked, feeling the pain of my own words. Once again it was silent. It stayed like that, before I heard Ryan shift slightly.

"Cat, open the door." He spoke softly. It was hard to tell his emotions from the softness of his voice, most of it muffled by the door. I sat for a bit, as just had my knees pressing into my eye sockets as tears continued down my face. I could still tell Ryan was waiting at the door. Shakily I made myself stand up, before my trembling hand turned the lock. It clicked excruciatingly loud. I grabbed the handle, turn it, before slowly opening the door. Behind it, stood Ryan, who was giving me the most solemn look, it made my pain rise up again. My lip jutted out, before it tremble.

"Why did this happen?" My voice came out in more of a whine, as my voice cracked. I fell forward, and buried myself in my brothers arms, as he pulled me close, and lightly stroked my hair, as I continued to cry.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆
HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO LATE I AM SO SORRY.

*waves arms in the air like uncooked spaghetti* I've been so happy lately wooaoaaahhhh.

QOTD: What year level of school are you in? (If you still go to school)
AOTD: I'm in Year 10 (which I think is like Junior or something in American schools)