Endless Conflict

7 | Do You Guys Want To Stay The Night

It had been two days since Tom had died. It felt like a bad dream. At least I wanted it to be. But it wasn't. I was mad. I was mad at the world for what happened. But mostly how normal everything was. Everyone and everything was still happening all normal and a life just ended. And probably again. And again. Oh and another few. It felt so bad to say that everything was normal when Tom was gone.

I felt lost without him. What would I be doing now if he was still here? We would be playing COD of course. I would be happy and he would be to. I wish now that I could've told him I loved him when he had opened his eyes for that split second. I love you. I could've said it. I knew he knew it but I wish it did say it. I new ver even hot to say goodbye.

Sam had rung me ten times each day asking if I was alright. Brent had left billions of texts and so had Todd. Katie had left a trillion though.

I hadn't left Tom's room for two whole days. I hadn't showered or slept or even ate. I had drank water and cried. I had to get back some water for more tears apparently. I had been to the toilet but that was it. I didn't want to move on when he was gone. It didn't feel right. I felt like I would betraying him.

Mum had been at work throughout each day. She hadn't checked on me, if anything she'd avoided me.

Katie on the other hand had walked all the way to my house because her car was out of fuel just to come and check on me. She brought tissues of course. She had just sat there and wrapped her arms around me. Just being with me. It was all she could do. But I loved her for it.

Suddenly the doorbell went off. Sighing I dragged my feet downstairs. I dreaded looking at the spot were Tom had laid just two days ago. Where his eyes had rolled back into his head. His last word was ouch. Believe it or not and there was no blood in sight. That was the spot I could have said 'I love you'. But I didn't.

I opened the door to see Sam, Brent and Todd standing there, there faces full of sympathy. I don't even try it smile to greet them. It's impossible.

"Come in." I gestured for them to follow me. I lead them to the lounge where we sit down. Todd laid down on the ground. While Sam slouched down on the couch and Brent sat down on the ground leaning against the couch. They all looked pretty depressed. It wasn't a look I had seen on them before. I flopped down on the ground next to Todd and swiped my eyes. I wasn't going to let these guys see my cry again. I needed to move on as simple as it sounds. But it wasn't simple. It was hard. So hard. Tom was gone and there was nothing I could do. Like I said before I felt guilty moving on.

"How have you been?" Sam asks quietly. This was the first and hopefully the last time I saw Sam this way. It was super depressing seeing him depressed. He was never a guy to mope but it was what he was doing now.

"Yeah I'm fine." I lied. What else should I say. I could say no but that was clear anyway.

Brent came and laid down next to me facing me. He studied my face with his piercing eyes. "No she's not." He pointed out the obvious.

"Well what do you expect my brother and my best friend just died by falling down those stairs," I said pointing at those stairs. "and my mum couldn't care less and I'm just fed up." I sigh dramatically as tears burn my eyes threatening to spill. "Im hungry and lonely and I miss him." I just had to add the last bit. Todd stood up and headed to the kitchen. I then heard the stove start and him searching the cupboards for probably something to cook with.

"I'm too upset to eat!" I call out to Todd. His name was so much like Tom's.

"No girl you to have to eat, your already skinny enough!" He called back. I pulled up my top slightly. Yeah he was right you could see my ribs, yuck. But to be honest I couldn't care less, Tom just died. That I cared about.