Endless Conflict

35 | He Cries

I was sitting at the table looking at my mum sitting beside me. Sue, Tom, Brent and I were all sitting at the table at my house eating spaghetti bolognese. We had just explained everything to mum, well me and sue, the boys had added bits and pieces but were mostly quite.

So now after we'd explained everything did she get angry? Did she cry? Did she storm out? No, none of these, she did nothing. She stayed there with and expressionless face starring across into nothing or the air, what ever you wanted to call it. "Mum?" I asked her as I lay a hand on her shoulder.

She looked at me and I could now see tears welling up in her eyes. I suddenly didn't mind no reaction. "Mum?" I questioned again as tears started to steam down her face.

"We'll give you two a minute." Tom says politely as he grasps Sues hand and ushers her out as Brent follows in their wake. He gives me a reassuring smile before he leaves the room as well. Okay, here we go. I think as I turn to my mum.

*****

"So did it go well?" Brent asks me as he caresses my hand in his. Mum and I had talked and she had ended up bursting into tears and crying on my shoulder for the half the time. I didn't blame her for being mad though for me not telling her, it was some pretty serious stuff.

"Yes I guess it did go well." I said as I placed my head on his shoulder. Tom and Sue were in the lounge room at the moment talking to mum about tomorrow's plans whilst Brent and I had headed up to my room. Apparently we would be leaving as soon as we could and that would be tomorrow. So I did still have to pack but I didn't really feel like getting up right now, see I'm super lazy.

"Guess?" Brent asks me as he turns to face me as we're lying parallel to each other now.

"It did go well." I correct myself with a smile. Brent smiles back before cheekily leaning forward and pecking me on the lips. I'd love to have a longer kiss but I do need to pack my bag because it was going to be a long trip so we would leave early. In conclusion I would have absolutely no energy to pack tomorrow.

Brent groans as I pull away, "You can have them later Brent." I inform my beautiful boyfriend with a smirk.

I jump of the bed and head to my walk in wardrobe and of course I hear that Brent is following me. Gee, he's so clingy. "Your so clingy!" I tease him as he reaches my side.

"You love it though." He teases me back as he pecks me lightly on the cheek. I swear he takes every chance possible to kiss me. Which I guess I don't mind, actually I don't mind.

"Mmm." I reply not bothering to give him a yes because really I think we all know that it is a yes anyway. So for the next hour or more I'm basically packing my bag whilst Brent and I have pointless conversation but also some deep and meaningful stuff.

"So how many siblings did you have?" I ask him as I sit beside him on the floor leaning up against the wall. I've basically packed everything now and I need a break.

I see I look of sadness and despair flash across his face so I reach for his hand and take it in mine. "I had five." He tells me as he takes in a deep breath.

"I know you might not want to talk about all this so you don't have to but I'd like to know some stuff." I tell him as I caress his hand in mine. I look up at his face to see if he's okay but find he's not crying so he should be good, right?

"Yeah let's talk," he says as he smiles lightly at me, "ask away." He encourages.

"Okay, what happen to them all, who were they, when? Stuff like that." I ask him, I'm basically just asking 'who, what, where when and why'.

"Well I was about seven when my dad started to get violent," he starts obviously just starting from the start. "at first it was just bickering and arguing over small things, nothing serious. But then one day when Nolan and me where in my room playing iron man I heard a scream only to find my sister Hayley dead." He chokes the last bit out. I find myself squeezing his hand tighter. He was only seven. Wait, how did he kill her?

"Do you want me to keep going? I can stop." He tells me with a concerned look.

"No." I tell him as I kiss him softly on the hand that I bring to my lips. "Keep going, I won't interrupt."

"Okay, well he had basically just thrown her against the wall crushing her skull." Brent says so casually that it kinda scares me. "Mum freaked out but just told the police some lie I can't even remember because she had pity for dad." He says that bit angrily.

"Only a year after we were all at a park. We were the only family there. It was me Nolan, my twin. Hayden who was a year younger than me and Sarah who was about five years younger than me. Mum was at work against her will, she didn't like to leave us with him but she thought that he had come good." He sighs deeply. "She thought."

"Sarah was just harmlessly bantering with Hayden. Honestly it was nothing. I didn't even have a chance to stop him when he went up to her." Brent's starring of into space as if replaying the memory in his mind. "He simply snapped a decent sized branch if a tree and beat her to death. Right in front of us. I tried," he chokes on his tears.

"Brent.." I soothe him and I was going to tell him to stop because this was just hurting him. He didn't need to relive those memories.

"I tried, Georgia." He chokes as he looks at me with a tear stained face. "I tired to save her, I would have done anything to have put myself in her shoes." I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him close.

"Brent stop." I tell him and I realise I have tears streaming down my face to.

"It's all my fault, I could've..." I place my hand over his mouth before he can say anything else.

"Brent, it is not your fault." I tell him forcefully. "What happened, happened." I tell him.

"Yeah but I wish it didn't." He says as he leans forward and kisses me.

I pull away from him and look him in the eye, "Brent, whatever happened happened and is not your fault." I tell him seriously. He looks down at his lap and twiddles his fingers with a confused look on s face.

"But Georgia," he starts as he looks up at me, "I was there and I could have done something, anything but I didn't." He says with so much conviction in his voice. He sounds like he is full of shame and he sounds ashamed of it.

"I don't care Brent." I tell him. "If it happened, it happened and you can't change the past." You can't, there's so much in every body's past that they wish they could change. I have things in my past that I wish I could go back and change. For example Mark. You can't sit around and dwell on the bad things though, you can only look forward.

"You can't sit around thinking about what you could've done when you can't change it anyway." I tell him as I wrap my arms around him in a tight hug. "It won't help you or anyone in any way." I tell him as he hugs me back tightly.

"You always know what to say don't you." Brent says as he pulls away and gives me a weak smile.

"I like to think that's true." I tell him with a smile. I'm just trying to help him, I can't imagine the struggles he would put up with. I couldn't imagine being in his shoes.

"Well it is." He says as he pecks me on the cheek before pulling me back in for a tight hug again. "I love you." He tells me.

"I love you too."