ʜᴇʀ ᴀꜱꜱɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ | ᴛᴀʀᴀꜱɪᴀ

ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ

ꜰᴀɴᴛᴀꜱɪᴀ ʙᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ
ꜱᴇᴘᴛᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 22, 2020

i brought out two glasses of sweet tea and set them down gently. tab was already sitting with her legs crossed, sunglasses on, and her phone untouched on the table. she agreed to come over after a week of light texting and occasional updates about laila. nothing heavy. just... small repairs. little steps. but this? this was different.

"thank you for coming" i said.

"thank you for inviting me" she replied.

we didn't speak for a moment. just sat with the quiet between us, and then i took the first breath.

"i've been thinking a lot about how we used to be before everything got...messy. before we started hurting each other more than helping."

tab nodded once, slow. "me too."

i looked down at my hands. "you were my safe space, tab. and when we fell out? it wasn't just that i lost a friend. i lost a piece of myself. i hurt you, i know i did and you hurt me back. we can't take none of it back but i still love you. still miss you. still wanna figure out if we can be anything like what we were."

tab stared at her tea for a long time. "you broke my heart, tasia. not just because of the secret but because when it hit the fan, you looked at me like a stranger. like i was disposable."

"i know" i whispered. "and i'm sorry"

"i didn't tell them what you told me to hurt you
nor raji. it just slipped and i'm not excusing it, but... God, tasia. i loved you. still do, and it felt like you'd rather cut me off than try to hear me."

i wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie. "i think i didn't trust myself because if i had let myself forgive you then, i would've had to face how wrong i was too, and i wasn't ready."

tab finally looked at me. "you ready now?"

i nodded. "i'm not asking for us to be perfect again overnight but i want my best friend back. even if we gotta rebuild from scratch."

tab breathed in deep. "i want that too but of course it won't happen overnight, but we can take it a day at a time."

"agreed."

we sat for another minute, then reached for our glasses at the same time. clinked them together like an unspoken truce.

"cheers" we said in sync.

"you talk to taraji about this?" tab asked with a slight smile.

"she said she could tell my heart missed you before i could."

"smart woman."

"the smartest."

the door creaked open behind us, and laila poked her head out, holding a half colored unicorn.

"tabi, can you help me pick glitter?"

tab's smile broke. "of course"

she looked at me once more. a softer look now. then followed laila inside, and just like that, the healing didn't need fireworks. it just needed two people who still chose love, even after the fall.