ʜᴇʀ ᴀꜱꜱɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ | ᴛᴀʀᴀꜱɪᴀ

ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ ꜰɪᴠᴇ

ꜰᴀɴᴛᴀꜱɪᴀ ʙᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ
ꜱᴇᴘᴛᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 28, 2020

i barely made it down the hallway before taraji shoved a banana in my hand.

"what is this for?"

"potassium."

i looked down at it, then back at her. "i'm not cramping."

"prevention."

"it's 10 a.m. i haven't even had coffee yet."

"then definitely eat the banana."

i squinted. "are you gonna be like this the whole pregnancy?"

she nodded without shame. "probably longer."

i tossed the banana on the couch. "i want pancakes."

"too much sugar."

"please"

she stared at me. then reached for her phone. "...okay, but i'm adding eggs and turkey sausage. protein balance. i already looked it up."

i laughed. "stay off of the internet"

"i can't" she sighed.

laila peeked around the corner, eyes wide. "is tai tai sick?"

taraji knelt down and opened her arms. "no, baby. tai tai is just... growing something."

laila walked into the room with her stuffed tiger tucked under her arm, curls still smushed from sleep. she climbed up into my lap like she always did and looked me in the face.

"you look normal."

"thanks, baby," i said, brushing a curl back from her forehead. "i feel kinda normal."

she poked my belly. "then what's growing in there?"

taraji choked on her own laugh.

i rubbed laila's back slowly, waiting for the right moment. we hadn't planned it to be this exact second but kids have a way of showing you the perfect opening whether you're ready or not.

"can i tell you something special?" i asked.

she nodded fast. "yes."

i looked over at raji, who gave me the softest smile and sat down beside us on the rug.

i kissed the side of laila's head and said, "there's a baby growing in my belly."

she blinked once then pulled back and stared at my stomach like it might talk to her.

"a real baby?" she asked.

"a real one" i nodded, tears already welling even though i was trying to keep them back.

"like... a sister?"

"maybe" i said, glancing at taraji. "or maybe a brother. we won't know for a little while."

laila gasped dramatically. "i'm gonna be a SISTER?!"

i laughed into my hands.

she leapt off my lap and jumped up and down, then turned to taraji. "mommy did you KNOW?!"

taraji nodded, smiling so wide it was ridiculous.

she ran off, yelling. "im gonna tell everyone! the mailman, tabi, everyone"

i leaned against raji's shoulder, laughing so hard my cheeks hurt. "should we stop her?"

"let her run," taraji whispered, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "this joy right here? it's the kind we need right now."

laila ran back over, hugged my legs, and looked up at me with her big brown eyes shining.

"can i help name the baby?"

i nodded. "of course, baby."

"can i pick their favorite color too?"

"sure."

"can i teach them how to color inside the lines?"

taraji spoke this time. "but laila you still don't color inside the lines."

we all laughed. for the first time since seeing those two pink lines...everything felt right.