ʜᴇʀ ᴀꜱꜱɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ | ᴛᴀʀᴀꜱɪᴀ

ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ ꜱɪx

ꜰᴀɴᴛᴀꜱɪᴀ ʙᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ
ꜱᴇᴘᴛᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 29, 2020

i sneezed once and raji came running like i yelled "fire."

"bless you. are you cold? you cold?" she put a throw blanket over me.

"it's seventy-five degrees in here."

she tucked it tighter. "that don't mean your body ain't fluctuating. early pregnancy can mess with your internal regulation."

"you been reading again, haven't you?"

"you don't want me to be educated now?"

"i want you to relax baby" i laughed. "i'm growing a cell, not a city."

laila walked by with a juice box and a tiara on sideways, barely paying us any mind.

there was a single knock and then tab walked in through the back patio with a paper bag in one hand.

"knock knock" she said, even though she was already halfway inside.

"tabi!" laila dropped her juice and tiara, running to tab.

"hey my bug." she kissed lailas head and hugged her.

raji waved. "hey tab"

she smiled and reached out to hug raji. "hey raji. what's going on today? same as yesterday?" tab asked, setting the bag on the table.

"EXACTLY the same" i said with emphasis.

tab walked over and before i could sit up, she was fluffing the throw pillow behind me.

"what are you—"

"support," she said. "your lower back needs it."

"i was fine."

"were fine" she corrected, like she had a damn degree in maternal instincts.

then she looked at raji. "you gave her her vitamins?"

"not yet. she claimed she was nauseous."

"that's exactly when she needs them."

i threw my hands up. "hello? still here. literally the pregnant one in question."

they both looked at me, then each other, then nodded like soldiers in the same platoon. raji grabbed the vitamins off the counter.

tab pulled a ginger tea packet out of the bag she brought. "natural nausea relief"

"can i please get a moment where no one is hovering over me like i'm about to shatter?"

they both sat down on opposite ends of the couch.

raji leaned in. "no."

tab did the same. "never."

"not even if i say 'please'?"

"especially not then" tab said.

i sighed loud and let my head fall back against the pillow. "this my life now, huh?"

raji kissed my shoulder. "yup."

tab peeled an orange and handed me a slice. "get used to it."

i held out the orange slice. "you want this?"

she ran and snatched it, then cuddled up next to me on the couch. "i'm practicing for when i gotta share snacks with the baby."

raji melted and tab sniffed like she was about to cry. i looked around at this chaotic mess of protectiveness and love then proceeded to say, "y'all are absolutely out of your minds."

they laughed and leaned into me.

"we ain't going nowhere" taraji said, holding my hand.

"never" tab added.

|||

the house was finally quiet. laila went to sleep an hour ago. the hallway light was off. no cartoons. no tiny footsteps asking for "one more juice box."

tab had hugged me tight before leaving. taraji was brushing her teeth in the bathroom. i sat on the edge of the bed with my hands on my stomach. my still-flat stomach. nothing was showing yet.

all i could think about was my mama and rico. telling them was gonna be different because my mom was gonna ask a thousand questions in the first five seconds and rico was gonna act like he wasn't shocked, but you could tell by how he sweats when he doesn't know what to say.

i sighed. i wasn't ready for all that, but it was coming. maybe once i had a picture in my hand and a heartbeat in my ears. something real to show.

"what you thinking about?" raji asked, getting in the bed.

i hadn't even heard her come out.

"my mama and brother"

she moved behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"what if she judges me? not cause i'm pregnant but cause i kept it quiet. she gonna say i don't trust her."

"you're allowed to protect your peace before sharing it, beauty. this ain't about hiding. it's about building a foundation before people start poking at it."

i nodded. "and rico? he gonna clown me."

"rico already calls you dramatic for burning water" she smirked. "you'll survive the jokes."

i laughed a little then went quiet again. "...i gotta tell my fans eventually too."

"only when you're ready. this baby is not a press release. it's yours. it's ours. and when the time feels right? you'll know."

i leaned back into her arms and closed my eyes. my fingers found hers our hands rest right over my belly.