ʜᴇʀ ᴀꜱꜱɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ | ᴛᴀʀᴀꜱɪᴀ

ꜱɪxᴛʏ ɴɪɴᴇ

ꜰᴀɴᴛᴀꜱɪᴀ ʙᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ
ɴᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 22, 2020

i woke up to pain. not the little pinchy cramps i been having here and there... no, this one stole my breath. it dragged itself from the bottom of my belly all the way around my lower back like somebody was squeezing me from the inside.

i curled up tight, hand instantly going to my stomach, breathing slow through my teeth.

"okay... okay, baby... we're okay... just breathe with me..."

my voice came out shaky and thin.

i heard footsteps upstairs—light ones—then tab's heavy robe dragging down the hallway. i shut my eyes fast, trying to look normal, trying not to panic her, but another cramp hit and i bit down on a whimper.

too late.

"tai?" tab's voice was sharp the second she reached the bottom step. "baby, you okay?"

i forced my face up off the pillow. "yeah... just a little stomach thing. i'm fine."

tab stared at me like i had just told her the sky was green.

"sit up," she ordered.

i didn't. i tried... but i winced so hard she knew immediately.

"fantasia, don't play with me," she said, coming closer. "you're in pain."

"it's normal pregnancy stuff," i lied, waving a shaky hand. "i'll be fine in a minute."

"how do you know it's normal if this is your first pregnancy?" she asked, giving me that look. "this ain't normal."

another cramp went through me and tab damn near snapped her neck turning toward her phone.

"don't you dare call raji," i said quickly, grabbing her sleeve. "tab, i mean it."

she blinked. "girl—are you crazy? you're having cramps this early, you stressed out, and you don't want me to call the woman whose baby is—"

"no." my voice cracked, a small sound i didn't mean to let out.

tab froze.

"i can't see her right now," i whispered. "i just... i can't. not like this. not feeling like this. not when i'm still hurting from yesterday."

tab softened, the hard lines in her face relaxing, but she still looked worried.

"tai... she deserves to know if something's wrong."

"and i deserve peace," i whispered. "just for a second. just one morning where i'm not crying or arguing or pretending i'm not scared."

silence filled the room.

tab sat down on the edge of the couch and touched my knee gently. "is it bad-bad?"

i shook my head even though it kinda was. "just... strong. like everything's too tight."

"how long?"

"woke up like this."

she cursed under her breath. "okay. we're gonna get you water and you're eating something. you probably dehydrated."

i nodded even though the thought of moving made my stomach quiver.

tab stood, muttering to herself, "lord, this girl gon make me age ten years today..."

i closed my eyes, breathing slow, hand rubbing circles over my stomach.

another cramp hit so sharp i had to grip the couch cushion. tears slipped out before i could stop them.