Tea Boy: A Deacury Fic

Chapter 55: Denial is A River in Egypt Part 2

-Freddie's POV-

Well as I figured, the rest of the afternoon was awkward, especially after lunch. There were a couple times I tried speaking to him about therapy, but he denies that he needs it every time I brought it up. But I'm serious this time, he really needs to consider going to daily therapy...or perhaps once or twice a week. Last I saw, he went out on a walk, I sat on the couch just waiting for him to return. I read a book while I waited for him to come home, only an hour later, he came inside, faced with ennui. He sat on the couch near me and sighed heavily.

"John… can I say something? And I need you to really listen this time. Not to argue, not to push me away. Just… listen.", I started breaking silence. "Alright… go on.", he huffed.

"John I know I've said this many times today but...I seriously think you should go to therapy.", I replied. "Freddie, come on… not this again.", John groaned. "Yes, this again. And not because I want to nag you. Not because I think you’re broken or need to be “fixed.” I’m only asking because I love you. That’s it." I got up from the couch so that I could explain myself better.

"I love you. I really do, John. It’s hard watching someone you love carry something so heavy, alone, when you know they don’t have to.", I told him. "You think I haven’t tried? I’ve been doing everything I can to hold myself together. My way might not look pretty, but it’s what’s kept me standing.", he complains. "I know you’ve been trying. I see it in you, every day. But surviving isn’t living, John. You deserve more than this constant fight. You deserve peace.", I responded sitting back on the couch and moving in closer, "I’m not asking you to do this for me. I’m asking because I love you enough to want you to be okay — truly okay, not just pretending."

I could see his sterling eyes gloss up. "It’s not easy letting someone in and talking about it… I wouldn’t even know where to start.", he uttered. "You don’t have to know. That’s what therapy is for. It’s not about having answers right now — it’s about giving yourself space to heal without carrying shame or fear.", I calmly implied. "What if I go, and nothing changes? Then what?", he asked wiping his eyes. "Then you’ll still have tried. That’s all I want. For you to choose yourself, even when it’s scary. Because I love you too much to watch you keep drowning in silence.", I explained pulling him close.

He suddenly pushed back and babbled, "I can't—I just can't, Fred, even if I'm in denial and refuse to acknowledge the help I supposedly need!" He then grew quiet asking, "You’re really not letting this go, are you?"

"No. Because love doesn’t walk away when things get heavy. Love stays. Love holds on. Love tells you notgive up on yourself.", I explained to him. "…Alright. Fine. I’ll try. I’ll go. But I don’t know if it’ll fix me.", he sighs. "I don’t want you fixed. I want you here. I want you breathing. I want you to wake up one day and realize you don’t have to hurt alone anymore.", I calmy reiterated.

Deaky sadly sighed and quietly said, "Okay… okay. I’ll go." Although, reluctant, he's going to do it. I pulled him in for a hug and softly thanked him, "Thank you. That’s all I needed to hear. I’ve got you. No matter how long this takes… I’ve got you."

"…Yeah. And I’ve got you too.", he uttered.

I've got you too. That will go on in my mind for hours.

(A/N: Short chapter ik, but most of this story started with short chapters anyway)