Tea Boy: A Deacury Fic

Chapter 26: It Feels Like Hell Part 1

"If you're going through Hell, keep going"

- Winston Churchill

-John's POV-

I heard something in my head since I was still asleep, and it was 4 in the morning when I heard this noise. I thought I was still dreaming. My body jolted up when the sound grew louder and louder. I read the clock, 3:58 am. Nearly 4 in the morning and that sound is still there, I got up and stormed into the hallway of the rehabilitation center, groggy and tired in the face. The low, rhythmic crackle and melody of Jacob's record player seeped through the thin walls, its sound gentle and repetitive. I knocked on his door.

"Yes? Oh good morning John!", he greeted.

"Jacob, could you cut that down?" I asked standing just outside Jacob's door. "It's four in the morning. I've had a long day, and the last thing I need is that endless droning."

Jacob's smiled faded, he barely looked behind the spinning vinyl. "It's not just noise, John. It's therapeutic. It helps me focus, helps me process things. It's therapeutic."

I let out a sharp breath. "Yeah? Well, how about you process things a little more quietly? Consider others that are still asleep." Jacob carefully lifted the needle, pausing the music, and met John's glare. "You don't get it, do you? This isn't just some hobby. This is how I deal with things. If I don't listen, it all just builds up."

I just scoffed. "Oh, right, because playing the same few records over and over at four in the damn morning is some kind of deep emotional breakthrough?"

Jacob's grip on the record sleeve tightened. "You think I don't notice how you deal with stress? Pacing around, snapping at people? Maybe if you had something to ground you, you wouldn't be so angry all the time."

I took a step forward, my jaw tightening. "Don't turn this around on me. I know exactly what I'm going through and I don't need you to make it worse!"

Jacob shook his head, setting the record back in its sleeve with deliberate care. "I'm not trying to fight with you, John. I just—I need this. And I wish you could respect that."

I ran a hand through his hair, the tension in his shoulders refusing to ease. He wanted to argue, to push back, but something about the way Jacob looked at me—tired, yet steadfast—made him hesitate. For a long moment, neither of us spoke. Then, with a reluctant sigh, but then muttered, "Fine. Just... keep it down, alright?"

Jacob nodded, a small, understanding smile playing at his lips. He lowered the volume on the record player, letting the music fade into a softer hum. I leaned against the doorframe, listening despite himself. He still didn't fully get it—but maybe, just maybe, he could try.

9:30 am

I woke up after a five hour rest since Jacob woke me up with his ruckus, I went in my tiny bathroom, took a shower, brushed teeth & got dressed in that order. Today Jacob & I are supposed to go to this meeting in the auditorium where we're supposed to get to know each other, explain the reason why we're in the situation we've ended up in, & inquire how we are supposed to help each other in these difficult times. "I don't know about this, I'm not too good with new people.", I said to him. "Trust me, we're in this together, plus, if I remember correctly, the additional topic is understanding your partner's boundaries.", he reassured. Seemed applicable to us. "The next meeting is Monday, & it's gonna talk about alcohol abuse & addiction, that's perfect for you!" Jacob adds.  That's where it hit me the most, I ranted too much information to him so much that he knows how much I'm struggling. I felt my eyes water as we approached closer to the auditorium, but I replied, holding them back, "I'll be more than happy to attend the next one." When we got inside, it was nearly packed with several residents of this center. People from around the world & local. Jacob dragged me to two available seats, how unfortunate we were right next to each other. I slumped in my seat still waiting for the meeting to begin, but then....

"Good morning everyone, I'm Ms. Galveston, your counselor for this meeting, This is an introductory meeting & we'll also be talking about relationships." There stood an average & slender woman on a stage, her dark curls fell loosely at her shoulders, she wore minimal makeup, her lips a deep wine & her eyes that hold wisdom & kindness a shade of hazel. "We'll be going around the room one by one, I'll have one of you come up & introduce yourself. Additionally, you can let us know what you're currently going through & explain how we can help. We're gonna be a bit since we have 25 people here, I'm glad you all came today. Who would like to go first?" Her gaze peered around the room out of twenty-five people, until, "How about you, young man?", her gentle voice asked. I gulped, today is not off to a very good start. I shyly got out of my seat & walked up on stage.

"Hello everyone, my name's John, I'm a talented bass player, I just joined a band a little while back. I also work as a tea, boy at a resort. I serve tea to visitors basically.", I started. I could feel everyone staring at me. "I'm currently dating the lead singer of the band, he's very wonderful to me, but..." Then it happened, the thought of my addiction. The tears in my eyes returned but I still managed to hold them back.

"Right now I'm fighting a battle that’s slowly consuming me—alcohol addiction, I started back after starting work for that resort. It's affecting my relationships, creativity, and potential in staying in the band. I'm at a crossroads, facing the hardest challenge of his life—finding a way back to myself before this addiction takes everything away.", I explained.

From there I heard murmurs of empathy fill the room, I nearly started bawling my eyes out. "With this addiction I feel like I'm in hell, I just refuse to put it down, but I don't wanna be kicked out. My partner has attempted help but I need more help than ever.", I cried, my efforts of holding tears back were successful until this moment.

Ms. Galveston approached me with a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Thank you for sharing that, John. I know how difficult it really is for you, but just know we're all here to help you." She smiled warmly and motioned me to go back to return to my seat.

I returned to my seat, for the remainder of the meeting I hid my scarlet red face,  until the topic of respecting boundaries was brought up like Jacob said. Ms. Galveston covered topics like active listening, looking for non-verbal cues, most importantly, respect. I feel that at this point I should really respect Freddie especially since he doesn't want me to drink anymore.

After this whole meeting, my mind was so tired and I felt emotionally drained from the sadness. Jacob wanted me to go play billiards after my nap. I said I'll think about it and went into my room.

I'm really starting to miss Freddie.