Just Once// Sidemen Fanfiction

Chapter 38// Step Down

"Babe-please." Vik had been pleading with Alice for the past thirty minutes, but she wouldn't budge. She refused.

"No." She simply stated. She wasn't going to give up.

"Alice Emily Zerker you will step off of that railing or I will physically climb up there and pull you down." Vik sighed.

"I want to die."

"No you don't. You have so much to live for."

"Everyone says that, Vik. Plus, no one really wants me on this planet anyway."

"I'll miss you... Josh, Ethan, Simon, Tobi... We will all miss you. You aren't just Alice to us. You are a sister, a best friend, a fiancé. Most people would kill to be in the position you are right now." Vik began to sob, making Alice ache. She longed so much to be in his arms, calming him down, but she couldn't. She had to do this.

"Alice..." Josh appeared in the doorway. Alice's heart hurt more when she saw his glazed over eyes and red face.

"Josh." Alice placed her free hand over her eyes.

"Come down. Please. For me. If not me then for Vik." Josh looked so broken, so   lifeless.

Alice looked between the two. Vik, his face sad and his eyes red. Tears still streaming down his cheeks. And Josh, dead behind the eyes. She'd done this to them. She'd ruined them.

She glanced over the edge and saw the rest of the Sidemen looking up at her. All sad as well, crossed arms and red eyes.

Why were they all sad that she wanted to kill herself? She wasn't anything to any of them anymore... She wasn't worth it. She'd never been worth any of their kindness toward her.

Then something clicked inside Alice. The little tiny piece of broken heart that she still had won the battle. She jumped off the railing, falling onto the balcony floor.

Alice collapsed, pulling her legs to her chest as she sobbed. She'd been so incredibly stupid. She'd almost given up on the only people who actually still cared.

"Josh!" She screamed as he tilted her head up with his index finger.

"It's okay, I'm here. Vik's here. You'll be okay." Josh sobbed, wrapping his arms around her and crying into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Alice cried, looking at Vik who'd slid down against the back wall. He looked broken.

Alice let go of Josh and sprinted to Vik. He'd stopped breathing.

"Vik!" Alice screamed, the tears re-surfacing in her eyes. "VIK!"

"Call an ambulance!" Josh called out behind her to someone she couldn't see.

"Right." The person reaponed rapidly, before darting into the apartment.

"Please, please, please..." Alice shook him, "Please don't die on me! Not yet! Come on, breath!"

"Alice, calm down..." Josh placed a hand on her back.

"JOSH! HE'S FUCKING DYING!" She screamed, shaking.

"The paramedics will be here soon, just calm down." Josh continued to speak, but Alice couldn't hear him. She'd suddenly felt tired, and fell backward.

"ALICE!" Was the last thing she heard before she fell into a deep, dark, coma.

"Alice..?" A faint voice asked, followed by some beeping. "Alice, wake up..."

She blinked slowly, opening her eyes.

"Good morning, Mrs. Zerker." The lady spoke. She was wearing light blue scrubs, like a nurse.

"Where am I?" Alice asked, looking around. She still couldn't quite see clearly.

"You're currently in the hospital. You fainted yesterday, and hit your head pretty hard." The nurse explained, shuffling some papers around.

Alice's eyes widened, "Where's my fiancé?!"

"Sadly, your fiancé isn't in as good of condition as you are. He had a minor heart attack, nothing to worry about. But..." The nurse hesitated.

"But what!?" Alice shouted, sitting up.

"He-he also hit his head pretty hard, causing some brain damage to the memory portion of his brain. He can only remember so much."

"Like what?"

"Like his name, and his childhood. He remembers some of his teenage life, but he cannot seem to remember the past year."

"Oh god." Alice felt dizzy.

"You could go see him if you'd like..."

"Okay..." Alice swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"He's in the room to the left. Your friends and brother are with him now."

Alice nodded, standing up. She walked out the door.

'He doesn't remember you, don't expect much.' Alice told herself. She walked up to the window of his room and saw him. No emotions running across his face. A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Alice..." Simon appeared behind her.

"Hey, Simon." She turned around, running a hand through her hair.

"He's in bad shape. Doesn't remember any of us." Simon shook his head, looking down at the floor.

"What have the doctors said?" Alice looked back over her shoulder at Vik. He looked so lost as Josh tried to explain something to him.

"They say he should remember stuff if we jog his memory, show him pictures, videos, explain things..."

"So his memories not fully gone?"

"No, just slightly. Doctor said it shouldn't be hard for us to get him back  to normal." Simon sighed, "Josh has been trying to hard with him."

"I can see." Alice slightly smiled at her brother. Once he started something, he never gave up.

"I better go see if I can help at all... See ya later, Alice." Simon winked at her before he went back into the room.

Alice watched as Vik's eyes switched to Simon, his emotions were blank, and it was clear. He didn't say his name, didn't seem happy to see him... Nothing. His face was blank. She couldn't look anymore, it hurt her to watch this happen. Alice turned away from the window.

Silent tears fell down her cheeks. She'd lost him. She'd lost the only thing that had kept her alive for so long.

Alice took one last look at Vik, and they locked eyes. She couldn't hold his gaze, she had to look away. He hadn't remembered her, and that broke her soul. Suddenly, sadness was all she felt. She'd fallen back into her dark place. Depression had taken over.