Trauma At Its Finest (Lip Gallagher X Male Reader)

Ch 48. Nightmares

The nightmares continue to plague him. Not just that—they spiral. It first started with flashes of Y/N in the hospital after being shot. Flashes of his partner dying. Mental images of his lost son, Phil. Thoughts about being a horrible father to his six children.

Now, he has nightmares from even earlier events. The death of Kaitlyn. Getting kicked out of college because of his alcoholism. Being rejected by Helene and learning the truth about their relationship. Disappointing Amanda by not being with her. Losing Mandy after trying to make her stay. Realizing he wasn't actually the parent of Karen's son. And finally, losing Karen too.

Lip only grows more exhausted as time goes on. He finds it hard to stay awake, and when he does sleep, the nightmares only return. It's a vicious cycle with no end in sight. He isn't sure whether he can tough it out or find a solution. Still, he pushes himself to get through each day, one after another.

"Do you have something to say about that?"

Lip opens his eyes, seeing his couples therapist looking at him. Quickly, he remembers that he's back in the office, with Y/N sitting next to him.

"A-About what...?"

"I've been explaining how I feel..." Y/N picks his words carefully, not wanting to sound ungrateful. "Underappreciated as a partner."

Lip stares at him with empty eyes.

"It just feels like... since I'm doing all of the chores and taking care of the kids most of the time... I don't think you realize how hard it is for me."

After looking at Y/N for a moment, Lip lets out a weak laugh. Confused, the Russian and the therapist glance at each other, sensing something is wrong.

"You think you're having it hard? You?"

"Lip—"

"Stay out of it." Lip snaps at the therapist before turning back to his boyfriend. "And you don't think I have it hard? Huh?"

Y/N is taken aback. "I never said you weren't working hard. If anything, I respect how hard you're working."

"You serious?" Lip shakes his head in disbelief. "You don't know nothing. You don't know ANYTHING about what I'm going through."

Grabbing his cigarettes from his pocket, he stands up and walks out of the office, leaving the others speechless.

Once outside, he lights a cigarette and begins to smoke. As he walks to the car, he enjoys the small stress relief it brings to his fingers. Leaning against the car, he takes a drag. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees his boyfriend coming out of the building with a frown on his face.

"What the fuck was that!?" Y/N walks toward Lip. The blonde merely ignores him, continuing to smoke. "There's a reason why we're here! Because of this kind of shit! We both know we aren't the best at communicating, and we both want to make it work—but I don't see you putting in the effort."

"Oh, I'm not putting in effort, huh?" Lip finally snaps back, looking irritated. "I'm going to college not just for you, but for our sons and daughters. I'm the one going to an internship five times a week."

"So you're stressed, then?" Y/N guesses that's the problem. "If that's it, just tell me."

Lip finishes his cigarette before crushing it with his shoe. "Yeah, I'm fucking stressed! Took you long enough to figure that out."

Y/N ignores the snide remark. "Is it because of the kids? You've only got until the beginning of summer for your internship, and you already passed your exams."