Trauma At Its Finest (Lip Gallagher X Male Reader)

Ch 66. A Year Later

It had almost been a year since it happened. And while Lip felt like he had 'moved on,' when the day arrived, he felt like total crap. Because of it, he started smoking a lot again. The tension was noticeable—everyone sensed it. Even Mikhail noticed.

Still, Lip tried to avoid everyone, smoking outside. Although he felt lost and distraught, his husband was always by his side. Even now, Y/N stepped out the back door and sat down on the stairs beside the man he loved.

"Hey." Y/N said calmly. "You doing any better?"

"No..." Lip admitted, sounding exhausted. "I... I keep thinking... there could've been one more..." He looked at his husband. "And every time I look at Mak, I... I feel like shit... that he could've had a brother... that everyone did..."

Y/N hummed quietly. "I understand that." He put an arm around his husband, pulling him closer. The blonde rested his head against the taller man's body. "It's good that you're not trying to hide it."

"I still feel trapped, though..." Lip looked back at him. He felt like he was on the verge of a breakdown, while Y/N seemed steadier—not happy, just... functioning. "How... how do you handle it...?"

Y/N thought for a moment before answering. "I keep thinking about what we still have... instead of what we lost. I know that sounds fucked up. But... I try to make the best of it. Still... I'm trying to keep myself grounded."

Lip took another drag from his cigarette, processing the words. "I sometimes wish I could be more like you."

"You don't." Y/N replied. "I still have PTSD, and New Year's is coming up." He exhaled softly. "Guess the grass is always greener on the other side, huh?"

"Yeah..."

They sat in silence, trying to make the best of the moment. Looking around, it felt strangely peaceful—something unusual for this neighborhood. During the quiet, Y/N remembered something important. Something Lip had mentioned a few days earlier.

"About the job meeting..."

Lip immediately sighed, rubbing his face. "Fuck... I forgot..."

After all his bad luck with job hunting, Lip had decided to go back to his old internship at Ironworks. He had already contacted his former boss, Declan Brooks, about meeting up, and Brooks had agreed. Thinking he'd be fine, Lip scheduled it for today—without realizing how hard the first anniversary of his son's death would hit him.

"If you really feel this bad, you can always reschedule." Y/N said gently. "But if you do go, I'll support you."

Lip took a deep breath. "I don't know... I already feel like a crap dad because I can't help with the money."

"You're anything but a crap dad." Y/N softly caressed his husband's arm. "They love you. And they're lucky to have you. To have us."

Lip turned fully toward him, feeling the unwavering support in his husband's gaze. "I'm going to try..."

"The appointment?" The husband asked, concern creeping into his voice.

"Yeah..." The upset man nodded. "Just... let me grieve..."

Trusting him, Y/N leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his husband's lips, Lip kissing back just as softly. No matter what, they were going to be okay.

-

An hour later, Lip is about to leave. While he's formally dressed, the bags under his eyes tell a different story. Still, he tries, and his husband makes sure to pamper him before he goes.