A complicated love story (BkTd)

Chapter 36 - "Is my chest not a good enough pillow for you?"

"Tomorrow." That was all Shoto said, Katsuki smirked.

"Tomorrow it is pretty boy."

• • •

"Mind if I sleep here?" Bakugo asked, already taking his shirt off.

"I hardly remember you asking me that last night." Todoroki pointed out, scooching over so he would have room. 

"Asking is a formality, you already know I do whatever the hell I want." And he wasn't wrong, he did do whatever he wanted. The taller boy sighed, nuzzling into his pillow. His bedmate looked at him strangely. Prompting a question, 

"What's up? You're staring at me funny." Shoto inquired, propping himself up on his elbow as he studied the other's face. 

"Is my chest not a good enough pillow for you?" Katsuki's voice came out as a mumble, he looked like a scolded Pomeranian. Suddenly it made sense, he must've gotten jealous seeing how Shoto nuzzled his face in his pillow instead of Bakugo's chest. The taller boy giggled, moving to rest his head against the other's pecs. He found he quite liked being able to hear his heartbeat. 

"Is that better?" Bit of a dumb question if you asked Katsuki, but he didn't mind if it came from the angel on his chest. 

"Yeah it is. This is a clearly superior position." He replied, tracing circles on Todoroki's hips. 

"If you say so." A yawn escaped his lips, and he got comfortable, wrapping his legs tightly around the body he was on top of. Similar to a koala, maybe they shared some genetic traits, who knows. 

Shoto was asleep shortly thereafter, Katsuki was lost in his thoughts for a little while. He stopped correcting his thoughts, stopped restricting his feelings, stopped censoring himself. He willingly thought of his classmate as an angel, and somehow he was fine with that. No one could blame him for that opinion, they would likely agree. As logical as that was, the angry pineapple would actually hate for anyone to agree with him. Only he was allowed to call him an angel. No one else had the right. 

He fell asleep to one word circling his mind over and over. 

'Mine.' 

• • •

It was nearing 3 in the morning when the blond was rudely awoken by the sound of gasping sobs. His senses were on high alert, scanning the room for danger. Eventually they settled on the sleeping boy cuddled up next to him. Violent tears were falling from his closed eyes, his breathing was ragged and shallow. Being so close Bakugo could feel how much he was trembling. 

Worry spread across his features, reaching out to pull him into his arms. 

"Hey, hey shhh, Halfie wake up it's okay. Wake up. Shoto you're having a nightmare. Please can you hear me?" Every second he remained asleep felt like an eternity spent trying to free him from the torment. Eventually after a minute Todoroki's two-colored eyes shot open like he was in the trenches. 

His head looked around frantically, trying to locate a potential threat. It almost felt like Katsuki was invisible, like the nightmare had transcended into reality as well. He rubbed his back soothingly, shushing him as best he could. 

"Shoto I swear you're okay, it's just us here. He's not here. He's not with you. He's not hurting you." No use specifying the person mentioned, they both knew far too well who it was. 

"Not here...? He's not...not here..." Murmuring the words of affirmation Shoto lulled himself back to sleep in the older's arms. His even breathing bringing a sense of comfort to his friend, who could only hope this time his sleep wouldn't be plagued with terrors. 

Just to be safe, he'd stay up a little while longer. The idea that he was sleeping soundly while the boy next to him fought against his own subconscious made his heart ache. So, just as a precaution, he'd watch over him. 

Not because it was any of his business but because Shoto wouldn't be a worthy rival if he wasn't well rested and at the top of his game at all times.

... 

Oh who was Katsuki kidding? He was worried, genuinely, seriously worried. He cared for him. He wanted him to be happy. He felt so broken seeing him cry, he never wanted to feel like that again. 

In that moment he made a promise to himself, he'd never make Shoto cry, nor would he let anyone else make him cry. Whatever demons he was fighting, they'd fight them together. Todoroki wouldn't be alone anymore, or ever again. How could such a sweet thing be left to suffer? It was inhumane. 

Everything would be okay now. Bakugo would make it all okay. He'd take him out of that godforsaken hell house and show him what safety felt like. After all, that's what friends were for. 

Friends.

F-R-I-E-N-D-S. 

Right. At this point, he supposes they would be friends wouldn't they. Not friends with benefits. Just, friends. 

The word hung heavy on his tongue, like he couldn't, wouldn't, say it. 

The younger clearly wanted to be friends, he clearly needed a friend. A good friend. 

Katsuki could be that for him. A shoulder to cry on, a helping hand. He'd offer what others never had. 

So why...

Why...

Why did the thought of being his friend hurt so damn much? 

Why was his heart squeezing so tightly he feared it might explode right then and there? 

His throat closed up. Friend. 

His chest burned. Friend. 

His hands shook. Friend.

His lip quivered. Friend. 

His eyes watered. Friend. 

The word felt like a curse, an eternal wound he'd have to bear. 

Katsuki Bakugo didn't have friends, per se. He had extras. 

Katsuki Bakugo was friends with Shoto Todoroki. 

Katsuki Bakugo hates the idea of being friends with Shoto Todoroki. 

Katsuki Bakugo would rather die then...then...

Katsuki Bakugo loved Shoto Todoroki.