Broken Hope (Phanfiction)

Chapter 8

****three days later***

"Dan it's been three days and she hasn't eaten a single thing except for some crackers!" Phil exclaimed. I was listening in on their conversation. "She told us she didn't have an eating disorder Phil!" He yelled back. "Dan...why would she tell us if she did?" He asked more calmly. Silence. The rest of the conversation was in whispers so I couldn't understand it. I stared down at my once again bloody wrist. I don't know why I did it again. I really don't know...I just...I missed my blade. "Kyra can I come in?" I was startled by a knock on the door. "Um...one second!" I called. "Kyra what are you doing?" Dan began trying to open the door but I had locked it. "Kyra open up. Now." He began to panic. I started to cry. "Hang on!!" My voice cracked as I spoke. I cried even harder. "Kyra why are you crying?!? Open up!!" He shouted while banging on the door. Finally the lock broke and he burst in. His eyes filled with tears as he stared at me. My sleeve covered in blood along with the sink. I had stuck my blade in the pocket of my sweatshirt. "Give it to me. Now. Give me the fucking blade." He held out his hand. I just stood still in shock. "GIVE IT TO ME!" He screamed. I handed him the razor and burst into tears. "Phi-" he started to yell out. "NO!" I screamed. "Kyra, Phil is going to hear about this whether you like it or not. He needs to know." He said firmly. "Dan please...I don't want him to see me like this...please..." I begged through tears. His face went from furious to gentle. He grabbed a washcloth and wet it. He pulled up my sleeve and held the washcloth to my arm. He did this until all the blood had subsided. He got bandaides out from the the cabinet and stuck them on each cut. He wiped off the sink and then threw the washcloth in the garbage. I was still bawling my eyes out by the time he was finished so he picked me up bridal style and I buried my face in his chest. He carried me into my room and sat down on my bed. He held me in his arms for a few minutes before standing me in front of him, his arms firm in my shoulders. "Take deep breaths beautiful. It's all okay. I promise. Just breathe. In and out. In and out," he whispered. I did as I was told until I wasn't crying as hard but tears were still coming out. "Okay now I need you to tell me the truth. No lying. I'm serious. Do not lie about what I'm about to ask," he said. I nodded. "Where else do you cut? And if you don't tell me I'll just check," he asked. I looked down for a minute and Dan let me. He gave me time to speak because he knew how hard this was. Finally I showed him my other arm. He gasped slightly but stopped himself in order to keep me calm. "Is that it?" He asked. I shrugged. He raised an eyebrow at me. I didn't want to make him mad so I pointed to my thighs. "Show me." He demanded. I pulled my pants down hesitantly and showed him my scarred up legs. He closed his eyes in order to take it in without bursting into tears. I pulled my pants back up. He squeezed my hand tightly and then pulled me into his arms. "Thank you for telling me," he said. I didn't say anything back but he understood. "Now we need to go downstairs and have a talk...with Phil." I looked up at him with pleading eyes but he was stubborn. He held my hand and we walked downstairs together. "Phil!" He called out. Phil came running in. "Have you been crying?" He asked me. I nodded. "Why??!?" He asked, very worried. "Well we were just about to talk about that right Kyra?" He squeezed my hand. I had no getting out of this so I just nodded my head. Phil had a worried expression on his face but kept his calm. I sat on Dans lap and Phil sat next to him. "Go ahead Ky," Dan nudged me. I looked at Phils blue eyes. They were no longer the glowing blue eyes that shone like the ocean. They were now filled with pain. I realized that Phil seeing me upstairs the way I was would have been much easier than having to tell him directly. "Here we can do it this way. Phil, ask the same questions you did before we adopted Kyra. Remember Kyra, answer honestly. It's for your safety." He suggested. "Okay...? Kyra are you suicidal?" He asked. I looked up at him and then Dan. "Yes.." I said but it came out in a whisper. A tear fell down each of the boys cheeks. "Is your depression as bad as Josh's was?" He asked. "It's w-w-orse," my voice was barely audible as I spoke. "Do you have an eating disorder?" He asked with pain in his voice from my previous answers.  I nodded. "Do you self harm?" He asked finally. This was it.  I had to tell him or else Dan would. I nodded one last time and then tried to bolt to my room but Dans grip was right on my waist. Phil began to cry and so did I. I couldn't see him but I knew Dan was too. Phil reached over and picked me up, bringing me into his arms.