Broken Hope (Phanfiction)

Chapter 17

***Dans POV***

It's been two weeks. She still hasn't said a word to us. I noticed she's been eating really well lately and hasn't been puking it up. After dinner I frequently walk past the bathroom to make sure and I don't stop until I know she's asleep. Phil sets down her plate of food on the surface in front of her and she ate it just fine. I glance over at her wrist because I notice she's wearing long sleeves. But from what I can see, she's clean. When she finishes her food, she heads upstairs to work on her online schoolwork. "Phil when do you think she'll talk to us again?" I ask. "I don't know...but hopefully soon. I miss her," he trailed off. "She's eating really well, and she looks to be clean," I say. He smiles, "Yeah that's good."      "Im gonna go check up on her, I can't take the silence anymore," I decide finally. "Okay, but Dan, don't get upset if she isn't ready to talk yet," he warns. I nod and head upstairs. I walk in without knocking and  I'm glad I did because I find her crying on the floor in a ball. "Kyra!" I gasp. I immediately rush to her side, pulling her against my chest. I rock her back and forth in my arms to soothe her and the sobs slow down. "I-I-I'm t-try-trying s-so hard Dan," she cries. I have to think what she means for a moment before remembering how much pain getting through the urges you have when you want to hurt yourself and you can't are. They are so difficult to get through. And sometimes you can't help but give up and just cry. I squeeze her tighter. "I know sweetie, I know," I hold her as tight as I can. She continues to cry and I wish that I could hold her heart in my hands and mend it back together. "You're so strong darling. You can make it through this fight I swear," I tell her over and over again. "I can't Dan, I can't anymore," she tells me. Her hope is gone. Her hope is shattered and broken and I don't know how to fix it. "I'm so sorry Kyra," I'm crying now too but I don't let my tears fall as hard as hers because I know that won't help. I stroke her hair with my hand and lay my head on hers. "Why do I have to be this way Dan?" She asks me a question that I do not have an answer for. "Because you are strong enough to get through it," I explain. "No I'm not," she says bluntly and I put my fingers on her chin and make her look me in the eyes. "Kyra. Don't. You. Dare. Say. That." I scold her. She sighs. "Do you realize how strong you are to still be breathing at this very moment? Through all this shitstorm you haven't left the sturdy rock you stand on," I tell her. "It's okay to feel this way dear. It's okay. Recovery consists of many days like this. And you won't feel like you have the energy to go on. But you do Kyra. I promise you do," I'm still looking her in the eyes as I speak. She smiles weakly and lays her head on my chest again. I lift her up and set her on her bed, laying next to her. I hold her in my arms because I feel like if I let go, her heart will drop and shatter on the ground. I kiss her nose before closing my eyes and falling asleep.