Affliction | cashton |

Chapter Thirteen: Scars

Ashton and Nia were sat on the couch, the tv playing softly. Ashton would occasionally glace at his bedroom, the door slightly ajar, his eyes scanning Calum's sleeping figure. He retracted his eyes when he started to stir.

"So he's sleeping in your bed after basically screaming at you to leave him alone?" Nia asked with an amused chuckle. Ashton knew where the question was coming from, even if it was rhetorical. He vividly remember his chest heaving, the weight in his heart, the painful tears in his eyes, Nia basically carrying him back into his apartment because he couldn't stop sobbing. But when Calum touched him, even if he was just holding his hand, all of that suddenly disappeared.

The boy could cause him pain and take it away with a simple smile. The beautiful brunette was the only thing on his mind every day, all day. He pondered why he always thought of him, maybe he was just mesmerized by the idea of what he can't have, maybe he was in love with him and he doesn't realize it yet. Whatever it is, he never wanted it to stop.

"He needed me and I'm happy to be there for him" Ashton shrugged as if it were no big deal, yet his cheeks were burning red and his heart was rapidly beating in his chest.

"You really like him don't you?" Nia asked, but before Ashton had a chance to lie and deny the girl spoke again.

"Don't answer that. I know you like him and I know this because you're my best friend. If you didn't like him you wouldn't have even given him a second glace. Just don't fuck it up Ash, you have a lot of walls and I can tell he does too. I can't really imagine this going well but I think it'll be ok in the end"

Ashton's eyes widened when his best friend was done speaking. His mind started racing with possibilities of being with Calum and making each other happy. Going on dates and waking up beside one another. It sounded so monogamous but it was so appealing.

However, it could also end badly. Calum has a past, and so does Ashton. He wondered if their pasts could get in the way of what they could be and the relationship that has the potential to be amazing and breath taking. Ashton knows Calum can be strong and stubborn but he's also fragile.

It's like looking down at a city at night, lights illuminate street walkers and everything looks beautiful and content, safe even, but once you are down there, walking the street, living in reality, there is nothing but chaos. Sadness is a close friend to the world and it's not a stranger in the act of tearing people apart. The hazel eyed boy didn't want this to happen to the beautiful brunette.

"I have to go. Good luck" Nia pulled Ashton out of his thoughts. His friend got up from his seat on the brown couch and grabbed her jacket. She turned back to Ashton and gave him a head nod. "He's troubled and your closed off, just don't let what you've been through effect how amazing you two could be" with that she left. Leaving Ashton to his thoughts.

Ashton shook his head, as if the action would keep his mind from exploding with theories and 'what ifs'. He got up from the couch, clicking the power button on the tv so the screen went black and started towards his room. He pushed the door open more and walked to his dresser, pulling out some sweatpants. He glanced over at Calum who was shifting around in his bed. But then he froze, his eyes scanning the boy's arm.

Scars. He kneeled down and sat on his knees, beside the bed. He gently brushed his fingers over the scars, wondering if they were self inflicted. Most of them were faded lines on his wrist, but there was one that stood out to the rest. it was a large scar stretching from his shoulder to barley above his inner forearm.

Even if the scars weren't self inflicted a pang of sadness still found it's way into his heart. Calum's beautiful body is tainted with memories of pain and hurt and that made Ashton's eyes brim with tears. However he blinked the tears away and collected his thoughts.before he stood up he placed a fragile kiss to his scars.

-

Calum shivered once again, the Chicago air cold and brisk. His shoes were loosely tied, he could feel his feet slightly lifting out of them when he took a step. His hair was messy, disheveled and falling over his forehead. His eyes were clouded with fear, when he woke up this morning, his arm was completely hanging off of Ashton's bed, his scars cold and exposed.

He had started panicking, feverishly slipping his shoes on and stumbling out of Ashton's apartment with tears in his eyes. Now he was walking back home, his body shivering in the cold, harsh weather, his mind clouded with thoughts of Ashton.

He wanted him. He wanted everything with him. He wanted to wake up wrapped in his arms, warm and protected from everything outside of his apartment. He wanted to be able to have mindless, unintelligent conversations with him at ungodly hours and most of all, he wanted to love him with everything he had. Calum wanted to be able to look past his scars and see the beauty in the world like he used to.

But something was holding him back. Something unknown and awful was holding him back from pursuing something that has the potential to be the best that has ever happened to him.

As Calum's mind and imagination him her to places of doubt and self loathing he walked through the doors of his apartment. By now his lips were probably blue and his teeth were chattering. He could barely control his shaking hand long enough to press the elevator button. But he eventually stumbled out of the elevator, freezing in his place when he saw him. He smiled as be ran up to him and primarily fell into his arms.

"I got your call are you ok?" Michael spoke in a soothing voice, his arms keeping the distressed boy from falling to the ground. Tears spilled from his sad brown eyes as he shook his head.

Calum had called Michael once the door to Ashton's apartment clicked shut. His best friend could practically see his tears through the phone, his heart sunk when he heard the boy's voice crack, being interrupted with sobs.

"I'm so confused" he sobbed into his black tee shirt.

"Let's get you inside, you're freezing. I'll poor you a glass of wine and you can tell me what's wrong. I don't care if it's 7am, you can drink he whole bottle if you want" Michael offered, succeeding in making the smaller boy giggle weakly as he agreed, shakily handing him the keys.