Affliction | cashton |

Chapter Twenty-One: Confessions

Calum twisted his body so he was facing Ashton. The older boy had bags under his eyes, his lips were chapped, his eyes were bloodshot, and there was a small bruise forming on his right cheek as if he got into a fight. If Calum didn't know any better he would have thought Ashton was drunk but he didn't smell alcohol on him. Calum brought his fingers up to Ashton's cheek and traced his jawline, Ashton closed his eyes, loving the feeling of simply his fingertips across his face.

"Are you ok?" He asked, his voice nothing above a whisper.

"As cliche as it sounds, I am now" Ashton tightened his grip around Calum's waist, pulling his body closer. He could feel the boy  smile, which made him smile.

"Ashton?" Calum lifted his head so he was looking into his hazel eyes. He expected to see sadness but they had a bright sparkle in them.

"Mm" he hummed a response.

"Give me your hand" he whispered. Ashton furrowed his eyebrows but complied. Calum guided his hand until it was resting on his hipbone. Ashton could feel something, a mark or bump or something. He lifted the blankets until he could see what his hand was touching. A large scar stretched from barely beneath Calum's hipbone to his mid stomach.

"Calum how the hell did you get this?" He asked, running his fingers softly over the scar. Calum grabbed his hand so he stopped touching the scar, entwining their fingers instead.

"Two years ago I was in an accident. I was nineteen and my friends and I went out. It was around Christmas, lights were up and everything smelled like candy canes. We wanted to celebrate being on Christmas break so we went to a party. We all had been drinking that night... cadence was the one who suggested that Luke drives since he drank the less out of the group, which was such stupid reasoning. None of us thought about what could have gone wrong. We were going to get food. On our way there, Luke wasn't paying attention and he ran a red light... A semi truck collided into us, the car flipped at least five times" Calum stopped when a sob escaped his lips. He didn't know when he started crying or when Ashton started wiping the tears away.

"Take a deep breath" Ashton whispered. He did as told, calming himself down before speaking again.

"There was glass and metal everywhere. I was awake the entire time, I saw everyone bleeding, heard them screaming before they blacked out. They were all unconscious but somehow I was wasn't. That's what I remember the most, waiting there, waiting for someone to show up and help us. It was like I was either waiting to die or to be saved. I could feel everything, glass sticking out of my skin, bleeding and throbbing" he paused again, trying not to break down.

"But you made it. And you're here " Ashton whispered comfortingly.

"I ran away after everything. It was all too much. Luke and I were like brother and sister and I just left him, after the accident everyone blamed him because he was the one driving. I couldn't take it anymore, everyone went mad. The pressure was even more intense because two people didn't make it" he completed his story. He could have gone on but it was too painful.

"Why'd you tell me that?" Ashton asked curiously.

"Because that's why I'm so closed off. It's not because I don't like you, its the fear that clouds my life. I see a therapist once a month, I take two sets of pills everyday, I'm terified to step foot in a car, I-"

"You go on" Ashton cut him off.

"What?" He asked.

"You go on. Instead of letting all of these set backs break you down you go on. You might have a past that you don't deal with but you don't let it stop you from living your life" Ashton explained.

"I want you to explain something to me" Calum changed the subject. Ashton was slightly confused but he shook it off.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Tell me about what you did when you worked for Marco" Calum said.

"Calum I don't t-"

"I want to know" he insisted. Ashton cleared his throat and looked away from the boy's eyes.

"Marco did a lot of slimy deals. He dealt with stuff ranging from over the counter pills to meth and cocaine. When people got into deep debt with him he called me, at the time I was scraping up money for rent, barely getting by. It was as simple as simple can get. Marco tells me an address I pay the guy a visit and, without sugarcoating, I beat the crap out of them. Marco would pay me enough for at least three months of rent so I just kept doing it" Ashton explained.

"Why'd you stop?" Calum asked.

"I was already thinking about stoping. But once I met you I thought I could be better than that. You made me want to be better than that" a blush coated his cheeks. Calum brought his hand up to Ashton's cheek and made him look at him.

Without saying anything she pressed their lips together, gentle and sweet. Ashton could feel his entire body relax, the thought of Marco and his old job far from his mind again. He tightened his grip on Calum's waist, pulling him closer as he started kissing back.

And that's how it went for hours. Until sunrise they layed in Calum's bed talking about anything and everything, sharing gentle kisses here and there.

After weeks of suffering, they made each other alright again.