Affliction | cashton |

Chapter Fourteen: kissing

Calum's head was spinning, his lips still freezing, his toes numb. His body felt limp, like at any moment he could collapse and everything would go blank. But he didn't. He sat on his couch with Michael a few inches away, a wine glass shaking in his hand. Calum tried steadying it enough to take a sip, the liquid going down his sore throat with a sweet pain.

"So tell me why my best friend is in so much pain" Michael said. Calum cuddled into his soft blanket more than he already was and huffed out a breath.

"You know that guy Ashton I told you about a few weeks ago?" He asked.

"Yeah" Michael nodded, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes full of concern.

"Well we started seeing each other more frequently. It was nothing intimate or suggestive but it was nice. I liked watching him smile and I liked being the one who made him smile. But things got complicated a few people from his past got in the way and I was starting to get scared. Ashton gives me this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and I love it but hate it at the same time. I know if Ashton and I ever become something more I just have a wrenching feeling that I'll end up with a broken heart. Not to mention the fact that he most likely saw my scars last night. I don't even know why I'm pushing him away, it's my past and all of my problems screaming at me, telling me to stay away from him" Calum explained, feeling light headed with all of the thinking and sharing.

He chugged the rest of his wine, automatically pouring herself another one, almost filing it to the top. Michael nodded, taking the bottle of wine away from him.

"Does this Ashton guy like you?" Michael asked. Calum shrugged, drinking his wine like it was water.

"He acts sweet and caring sometimes but then he seems to shut down and just leaves, it's rather annoying" Calum rolled his eyes at the thought. Just like when he opened up to him, crying on his shoulder and falling asleep in his arms on his couch then the next morning he was gone as if the entire night was simply a dream.

"Maybe he's just as scared as you. Maybe he has a past holding him back and he's scared of hurting you. I wouldn't give up on him though. Maybe you should tell him about your feelings and see if he feels the same way. People can surprise you cal. If this Ashton guy really cares about you then he'll look past the scars" Michael said softly.

"I just don't know if I actually like him or if it's just the fact that he's the only person outside of you and my family and the hospital who has talked to me in two years" he said.

"Have you kissed him?" Michael asked. Calum nodded, remembering when Ashton and him fought and he kissed him, the feeling of his soft lips on his own. Calum's thoughts immediately stopped when he felt a pair of lips pressed to his own. His eyes widened when he realized it was Michael. Calum pulled away from him and pushed him further away.

"Did you feel anything?" he asked casually. Calum wiped his mouth with his sweater and stared at the boy with wide eyes.

"No. You're my best friend, ew why would do that?" suddenly a pang of guilt invaded his heart. Thinking about Ashton and wondering how he would feel if he knew he was just kissing Michael, if he would even care.

"Do you feel guilty?" Michael asked. He looked at him with wide eyes.

"How did you know that?" He asked.

"Because you like him"

-

Once again Ashton thought alcohol and a pretty face could distract him from Calum. That's why he was hovering above a petite red head, his lips attached to her neck, sucking and biting at the skin. He thought he was over this. He thought he could be better, be a better person for him, for Calum.

But when he woke up, he smiled as he walked into his room ready to admit his feelings for the brunette beauty, but the smile quickly faded when the bed was empty. He felt as if his heart shattered into a million tiny pieces and the thought of being 'better' was gone. Instead of sitting at home and sulking, he left his heart on the floor and went out. Shot after shot the thought of Calum was slowly starting to fade.

By the time the red haired girl walked up to him he couldn't even remember his name. So when she started kissing him, Calum was far from his mind. Now the scent of alcohol filled the room along with the sound of his lips sucking on the girls skin.

She moaned as she started pulling his pants down. In his drunken state, he simply smiled and kicked them from his ankles.

"What was your name again?" Ashton asked, looking down, into the girls green eyes. His mind was so clouded by the alcohol that he couldn't even realize that they were nothing compared to Calum's beautiful brown eyes.

"Tessa" the girl muttered against his skin, not the least bit offended that he didn't know her name.

Calum wasn't anywhere on his mind. When his fingers were weaved into the red heads hair, the idea of the brunette  was lost. When he was sliding the condom on, Calum was that of a distant memory. Then when the pleasure took over and Ashton hit his climax it was as if Calum never existed.

His presence and his beauty was lost. His beautiful brown eyes and intoxicating smile was a faded day dream to Ashton as he panted, lying beside the stranger. The taste of alcohol was still present in his mouth, stale and bitter, but he felt warm and he drifted to sleep with Calum far from his mind. For now.