Affliction | cashton |

Chapter Thirty-Five: Wake Up

I guess you could say he was floating, like when you look up at the sky and there's a balloon just flying with the wind, it looks like it will always get too close to the sun or deflate and just drift to the ground. That's what Ashton was doing, he is floating with no source of stability. And there's a possibility of getting to close to the sun, or simply drifting into nothing. He's scared again. He's messed up and he knows it, he's thrown away everything he cared about in a matter of five months.

Maybe he should have let him in, told him that he was hurting and he didn't know how to deal with it. In a way maybe this is a good thing. You see in Ashton's head, with the absence of himself from the brunettes life maybe he can be happy. When Calum was here all he was doing was dragging him down with the negative energy and ghostly presence. Calum's over his fear of cars, he doesn't cut, he sees the beauty in the world again, he doesn't need him,

At least that's what Ashton thinks.

"Get up" Nia stood at the foot of Calum's bed, where Ashton lay curled up under the bed sheets that still linger with the scent of coconut. The tan boy had just gotten back from driving Calum to the airport, he helped the boy pack whilst Ashton sat on his bed and simply watched. Inside his heart was probably literally shattering into pieces, but he didn't stop the boy, and now he doesn't get why. He doesn't get why he wasn't on his knees begging for the boy to stay with him, begging him not to leave. But it's too late. Now he's on a plane going thousands and thousands of miles away from him.

"Get your ass out of this bed Irwin" Nia said, her voice stern and thick with annoyance, which Ashton ignored simply turning on his side and cuddling into the sheets. Possibly a few curse words falling from his lips.

"Sophomore year, Jamie kole" Nia said. Ashton threw the blanket off of his head so Nia could see his furrowed eyebrows and confused face

"What are you talking about?" The hazel eyed boy spoke for the first time since Calum left.

"In the middle of sophomore year I stayed home from school for a week because Jamie kole cheated on me. You came into my room, opened the blinds, and literally dragged me out of bed so I fell on the floor. You told me that sitting in a puddle of my own sadness wasn't going to change what Jamie did, that he hurt me and I couldn't let some silly boy prevent me from carrying on" Nia explained. Ashton rolled his eyes, covering his head with the blankets again.

"Calum isn't some silly boy, Nia, he's not some damn high school fling that can be so easily forgotten. I was in love with him and I just let him walk out of the door..." Ashton sat up so the blankets fell to his lap. Nias eyes somewhat widened when Ashton sat up, his hazel eyes bloodshot, large bags underneath, his scruff not really considered a scruff anymore, his cheeks tears stained, curly head of hair disheveled.

"I watched him pack his bags, I did everything besides pay for his fucking plane ticket. I pushed him away because I was too damn scared to face the fact that I was broken and I didn't want him to know. I was scared and I didn't let him in and I'm paying the concequences. He left me and I deserve it, I don't deserve someone like him. What do I have to offer him? He's fucking amazing and I'm just me, sh-" by now Ashton was sobbing and screaming at the same time.

"Oh shut the fuck up" Nia cut the hazel eyed boy off. Ashton's eyes widened with the sudden interruption.

"If you can't see how much you effected him, then you must be fucking blind. I'm not going to let you sit here and fucking pout all your damn life because you know if you tried you could easily get him back. When did you start giving up Ashton? When did you start letting yourself prevent yourself from something that makes you complete. That's what Calum does, he completes you and you complete him, so instead of locking yourself up, expose yourself to him, because if you don't you'll lose him forever. I'm going to Australia next week to help Luke and Michael with some things, if you get your mind straight by then you have my number and I have an extra ticket" Nia walked out of the door without letting Ashton respond to him. The hazel eyed boy sat in bed, his eyes fixed on the place where Nia was previously standing, his mind was racing like it always was, but this time he has to make a desicion. Calum or a life without Calum. It seems like the easiest decision ever, but it's not.

Of course he would always want to be with Calum, but if he doesn't Calum has a chance to be happy, to live a life without Ashton weighing him down.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Don't hang up" a deep familiar voice rang through the phone. Calum's breath hitched because he knew exactly who it was.

"Why are you calling me?" He asked. He heard the honking of cars and shuffling in the background.

"Because I miss you. I miss you so fucking much and I know Id deserve it if you just hung up and forgot about me but I can't fucking forget about you. I'm losing my fucking mind with you" the reply was broke and pained, it made butterflies appear in Calum's  stomach. He hated this, he slept with someone else yet all Calum wants is to be with him again. It was pure insanity.

"I'm in a lot of pain Ashton" he replied, chewing on his thumb nail.

"I can't take away your pain" he replied.

"You can stop inflicting it" he retorted

"Stop giving me the power to inflict it" maybe he's right, all they've done is put each other through hell, yet they always go back. And Calum doesn't plan on giving that up.

"There will be a key underneath the welcome mat. No fighting. No tears. No complications. Just lock the door behind you"

"No fighting. No tears. No complications"