Affliction | cashton |

Chapter Twenty-Three: Adore

Ashton watched Calum pace his room from one side to the other. The older was sitting against the headboard with his legs stretched out, his fingers entwined on his lap. He was slightly amused and slightly worried. Calum was chewing on his thumb nail, which he learned he does when he's nervous or anxious, he found it extremely adorable for some reason.

Ashton had arrived at his apartment no more than 15 minutes ago. He had spent his day with Nia who claimed she "missed her best friend". Calum had let him in without a word, giving him a small peck on the cheek before venturing off to his room. Ashton was confused but he followed him and sat down as he began his pacing. Now here he was watching the brunette chew his thumb nail and pace in a straight line back and forth.

The hazel eyed boy shook his head with a chuckle as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He approached the boy and gripped onto his shoulders, making him stop pacing. Calum gasped and flinched as if he forgot Ashton was even there in the first place.

"Sit down, take a breath, and tell me what's wrong" Ashton said calmly. Calum huffed out a breath as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. Ashton sat beside him with a respectable distance between them. He was slightly confused as to what they were. He wasn't one to put a label on something or someone but it'd still be nice to know where they stand.

"You remember that guy Luke I told you about?" Calum asked. Ashton nodded, taking the boy's hand in his, starting to rub soothing circles on the back of it.

"Well he called me yesterday and said he was coming to Chicago and I don't even know if I'm ready to see him. I guess I'd be a nice step towards overcoming my anxiety, but I'm terrified that if I see I might shut down, or break down, or both! Oh my god what have I done? I can't even get into a car without having a panic attack and I agreed to letting him stay here. What if I drive him away again? What if-"

"Calum" Ashton cut him off before he passed out due to not taking breaths between sentences.

"What?" He asked.

"I'm sure everything is going to be fine. And if it's not then it'll go the way it's suppose to go. And if everything comes crashing down and you can't handle it anymore I'll be right there to help you. I'm always going to be right here when you need me" Ashton said with a warm smile and a sweet softness in his voice. Calum let out a deep breath as he leaned his head against the hazel eyed boys shoulder. Ashton smiled, his heart racing at a sweet speed.

He leaned his head onto Calum's, the boy's hair smelling of coconut, the smell he came to love and cherish. He flipped Calum's hand over and laced his fingers with the smaller boy's, comfortingly squeezing his hand to let him know he meant it when he said he would be there. And he did mean it, with everything he had inside of him he meant it.

-

Calum sipped from a wine glass, the red cheery tasting liquid going down his throat with a sweet sensation. Ashton sipped on a glass of coke and Brandy, a drink Calum had made him since he said he didn't prefer wine. He was content at the moment, his head resting on Ashton's shoulder, their hands gingerly intertwined, his glass of wine resting in his warm hand.

"We should get out of here" Ashton broke the peaceful silence with his deep, silky voice. He sipped on his drink as he looked down at the boy.

"Like out of my apartment? It is getting kind of stuffy in here" Calum said. Ashton chuckled while shaking his head. Calum furrowed his eyebrows as he sat up.

"No, like out of Chicago. We can go anywhere, just me and you" Ashton explained, a certain hopefulness in his voice. Calum smiled with pity as he sighed.

"We can't just pick up and leave Ashton. It's not as simple as that" Calum leaned his head back on Ashton's shoulder.

"Why not? We can jump on a plane and go anywhere and if you're too scared to get on a plane we can walk thousands of miles to somewhere far away. Just me and you and a map" Calum thought Ashton sounded crazy. Although something inside of him wanted to do it. He thought some unknown force was stopping him from being with Ashton but maybe it was his fear all along. And maybe if he did this they could finally have that chance. That chance at that breathtaking relationship.

"I'm in. Whenever Luke gets situated and everything mellows out we'll go. Just me and you and a map" Calum smiled. Ashton pushed him against the couch making him yelp then giggle as he started placing short pecks to his face and neck. Ashton hovered above the tan boy, looking down at him with a vast smile. His smile softened as he stared fondly at him.

"Calum I really adore you" Ashton smiled

"Ashton I really adore you too"