Affliction | cashton |

Chapter Twenty: Phones

His hands were shaking, he held the phone staring at the number that was dialed in.

All he has to do is press call.

He takes a deep breath and sits up on the couch. His thumb hovers over the call button but he can't seem to bring himself to press the button. He wants so badly to be able to do it, to press the button and have a conversation with an old friend. But inside it feels like calling a ghost. Everything inside of him is screaming at him to put the phone down, and he wants to listen. But he resists the voices and presses the button. With trembling hands he holds the phone to his ear and waits for it to stop ringing.

"Hello?"  She freezes. He sounded different. Not in the way people sound different when they grow up, he sounds distant and... gone. Calum couldn't bring himself to speak back. He heard shuffling before the line went dead. He sat there with the phone to his ear, listening to the dead line.

Perhaps this is just how it's supposed to be, maybe Calum is just bound to end up listening to a dead line. Maybe he should just keep it all inside, like he used to.

But he doesn't want to be another dead line.

-

The memory of attempting to call Luke played on repeat in his head as he went on each day.

It's been three months since his attempt at suicide, 9 weeks since he started breathing on his own, 7 weeks since getting admitted to the hospital, 5 weeks since Ashton showed up, 3 weeks since he was released from the hospital, and one week since he tried to call his ghost. For the past two weeks he's felt lost, dead and cold on the inside. He's tried to go out and walk around with all of the people who look genuinely happy or sad or angry, and he wants to be like them, but can't bring himself to care. So he stays inside, and he has for a week and a half.

He ignores phone calls from Michael and his mother, simply texting one word responses just so they know he's still decently alive.
-
It's a Friday, rain is pouring down and there might be a power outage. The brunette sits on the couch with a wine glass in his hand and his laptop on the coffee table, The Man by Ed Sheeran was playing softly. The ringing of a phone snapped him out of his frozen state. He rose from the couch and walked to the kitchen. His phone was buzzing on the counter, showing a blocked number. With furrowed eyebrows he picked up his phone and pressed the answer button.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Don't hang up" a deep familiar voice rang through the phone. Calum's breath hitched because he knew exactly who it was.

"Why are you calling me?" He asked. He heard the honking of cars and shuffling in the background.

"Because I miss you. I miss you so fucking much and I know Id deserve it if you just hung up and forgot about me but I can't fucking forget about you. I'm losing my fucking mind with you" the reply was broke and pained, it made butterflies appear in Calum's  stomach. He hated this, he slept with someone else yet all Calum wants is to be with him again. It was pure insanity.

"I'm in a lot of pain Ashton" he replied, chewing on his thumb nail.

"I can't take away your pain" he replied.

"You can stop inflicting it" he retorted

"Stop giving me the power to inflict it" maybe he's right, all they've done is put each other through hell, yet they always go back. And Calum doesn't plan on giving that up.

"There will be a key underneath the welcome mat. No fighting. No tears. No complications. Just lock the door behind you"

-

The invitation was simple yet he couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear. And it wasn't one of those bullshit smiles he pulls when Nia brings him ice cream, it was a genuine smile that only a brunette could cause. He hung up the payphone when the line went dead. He smelled of dirt and sweat, and maybe picking a fight with a drunk middle aged man at a bar wasn't the best idea, but he wanted to feel something. For the past few weeks he's stayed inside, occasionally going to retrieve the mail, other than that he didn't let the sunlight touch his skin.

Ashton crossed the busy street and started making his way towards the brunette beauty's apartment. He had a jump in his step that wasn't there a few minutes ago. His heavy heart feels lighter and the bags under his eyes didn't seem to matter anymore. Because he was on his way to him. He was on his way to the only person who can truly make him smile. The person who stays in his head from sunrise until sunfall and back again.

Soon enough the old looking apartments came into view. He held a grin as he entered the lobby. He kept his eyes fixed on the zigzag pattern on the red carpet. He felt like he was flying when he pressed the button.

No fighting. No tears. No complications. That's all he wanted and Calum was about to deliver. He stepped inside of the elevator and clicked the button for the tenth floor and watched the doors shut. The small box rised for about forty seconds until it stopped with a jolt. The metal doors opened and he stepped out. He could feel the excitment twist his insides in a delightful way as he descended down the hallway. Just like he said there was a silver key underneath the welcome mat, but there was a sticky notes attached to it.

"No fighting. No tears. No complications" it read. Ashton smiled as he slipped the note in his pocket and began unlocking the door. He didn't know why there were three locks but he shook it off and pushed the door open. He locked it behind himself and traveled down the blank hallway. He opened the door to the boy's bedroom room and slipped inside, closing the door behind him. A sigh of content left his lips as he scanned over the boy. He was lying in bed with the white blankets pulled just over his waist. But most importantly he was breathing. Calum was breathing right before Ashton's eyes. His body slightly moving when he inhaled and exhaled because he could and he was.

Ashton kicked off his shoes, slid off his pants, and removed his shirt before climbing into the boy's bed. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and pulled his back to his chest. The familiar scent of coconut filled his nose and he was happy again. He smiled wide as he felt Calum's back expand when he would breath against his chest and it was an amazing feeling.

"Took you long enough" Calum chuckled, feeling his entire body relax.