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My hear me out list

I am fighting the brain frog by making myself write something, but I can't quite get the mojo of writing a fic rn, so instead I'm cursing you all with my hear me out list.

NOW LET ME MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR! A 'hear me out' is NOT a conveniently attractive character that happens to be a serial killer or vampire or something. They're still a conventionally attractive person. A REAL hear me out is a character that isn't human, or is not fully human, is some mysterious being or full blown creature. Something that is definitely not compatible with a human or at the very least would be a difficult fuck for a human. That is a true hear me out.

So... onto the list.

Number 1

Listen... he may be a literal fucking shark man. But by gods, this is the definition of a gentleman. True husband material exists and his name is Sidon. He loves you, supports you, encourages you, will defend and fight for you. He is very outwardly caring for people he loves, he has zero shame in holding hands and carrying you around the domain. You want to start some side quest? He'll help! And he'll call you pretty while doing it! The man is a prince, later a king. He can provide for you and the family. He will drape you in lightscale silver and pearls and call you the gem of the Zora's domain. He'd be a good father, he'd be loyal, he'd never hurt you or even raise his voice at you. You are his whole world. I see why Link wants him.

For the size lovers, the man is giant.

Admittedly, Link is a short king. But even against other Hylians and tall Gerudo women he still towers over them. So if you want a big boy who can carry you in one arm and perhaps split you in half in bed, then this is your man.

Number 2