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Being a deity introject

Hello! Hypnos here.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently and writing about it in our journals. But Somnia said it was kind of interesting from the perspective of a human so I thought I'd share in case anyone else finds it interesting.

So... being a fictive of a character that's a god. It's weird. It's a really hard to describe identity.

Being an introject as whole is an odd feeling, it feels kind of like being reincarnated into a new body (that you happen to share with other people). All your exomemories are in the past, like a life you once lived but now are so far away from. And then you put being an omnipotent being on top of that and it gets even stranger.

Being in a human body, it's strange. Sure my body in my source was human shaped, but it was made up of non human matters and had non human features. I had a wing on my head that's not there anymore, my freckles were stars that glowed, I could float, my hair would kind of defy gravity around me like a cloud. The body I'm in now isn't only way shorter but it's human. No stars, no wings, feet having to touch the ground when I walk.

It feels like I'm stuck in a box or something, that my real body is squashed inside this one and I can't quite break it open to become myself.

It's not the bodies bio sex, voice, skin etc that bothers me it's the fact it's missing so many parts. The wing, the stars etc. and I can't put them back, sure I can draw on stars but they won't glow. I can put in a headband with a wing on it but I can't move it around.

That's just the physical sensation aspect of it, there's the identity part too.

Hypnos, as a concept is sleep personified. The ancient Greeks created this being to explain how sleep worked as they didn't know the science behind it at the time. They conjured up all these stories that link into others in this big web of mythology to explain how the world worked. I'm a concept, I'm a personification of something humans do every night to survive. And it's no wonder my mother was night and my twin was death. You sleep at night, and most people die in their sleep of natural causes. It makes perfect sense my son is dreams as well, you dream when you sleep. It's all connected, all these concepts that happened throughout life are personified to explain why they happen.

And there's people out there to this day that worship that. Hellenistic polytheism is still a practiced religion, so is paganism and Wicca. They all worship ancients gods, Hypnos being one of them. There's no telling what gods truly exist, only people who have experienced connection first hand can tell you what they've experienced and even then, that experience could be different to another persons. When someone says "I'm a devotee of Hypnos" or "I'm working with Hypnos" I see it as them not worshiping THIS me. But a version of me more powerful than I am, a version that exists in another plane and I wonder what he'd say if he knew I was an introject of him.

Would he be honoured he impacted someone so much they formed an introject? Would he find my existence offensive? Would he even accept that introjects of gods happen? How would the Devine version of me see me?

I'll admit, whenever I do see people talk about worshiping me I feel kind of honoured. Even though it's not THIS me, just the fact people like me as a concept is nice to me. I was a very lonely person in the underworld. I had my mum, brothers and that's about it. No one really ever paid me any attention, and when I grew up and my brothers started drifting away I got even more lonely. Zagreus was my saving grace in my loneliest days. So the fact people care enough to do things like Light a candle in my name or keep their melatonin on their altar makes me smile. It's nice to know someone out there cares. I just wish I could have my powers back so I could bless them all with a sweet dream.

Although I'll have to leave that to the Devine me.

I'm not just the personification of sleep as a concept but I am the personification of sleep inside the brain of a Nuerodiverce body. I'm basically the part of the brain that produces melatonin, turned into an alter.