Love Amidst The Chaos

53| The Aftermath

A/N IN THE END :)

~ Vidyut ~

A single tear doesn't slip from Esha's eyes throughout the night, nor does she sleep a wink. Her dainty body stays pressed to mine in absolute stillness through the night, her face seeking refuge in my neck. I hold her dearly to me, for she is more dear than life in itself to me and she needs to know that now more than ever. Her words aren't much. She has barely spoken anything after coming out of the shower. All she did was ask for her father, settle in my arms and let me take her through the rest.

I have since been holding her, hearing every whisper she makes, questions, accusations and remembrance of the horror she has lived and numbness and astonishment she feels. I pacify it, or manage my best to do so, with my words and gentle feathering against her skin.

She stays grounded to me, at least by body and seldom by mind, but she doesn't seek refuge in her numbness. She is pulled into it, certainly, but she grounds herself back to the world, back to me every few moments with a new question or memory.

There, I see the little girl in her and my already broken heart's pieces pierce through the pulsing nerves and my arms hold her even closer.

If someone like my Esha, who builds castles with her thoughts and analysis, has to abandon them and rush back to the world, how painful must the thoughts and pain inside of her be?

How ruthless must fate have been for it to force you out of things you find refuge in.

As dawn breaks and the first ray of light seeps into our room, her body goes rigid. As if she is again pulling on her shield. I rub my palm down her arm and she sighs, tightening her hold around me.

"This isn't a nightmare?" The whisper sounds more like a statement she finally accepted than a question.

I push back her hair off her face– she hates it on her face– and press a kiss to her temple. "It's not, my love."

She exhales and meets my eyes, repeating yet again, "What now?"

"Now, my love gets up, freshens up and we leave for your dad's."

Her face is absolutely impassive, void of any emotions. "What if the test comes out negative?"

"We'll expose a crime and criminal." I offer, sitting back on the bed.

She sighs and sits upright too. Her fingers fumble with the blanket for a moment as she slowly meets my eyes again, this time those captivating eyes, that always appear bright and boundless like the sea, look hostage to its own abyss of darkness like the depth of a volcanic mountain. Before I say a word or pull her closer, she herself crawls into my arms, curling into my body, shrinking herself in my confines like a child in the storm.

I wound my arms immediately around her, holding her close and tight into me.

"I wish my world really began and ended here, Vid." She mumbles into my chest. "I don't even know what I am feeling. I know that with you, always, but she's ruining that too. I want to cry, Vid. But I don't know how to right now. It feels like she's finally taken away what I've always had as mine, my emotions."

I frame her face in my palms and lean down, gently tracing my thumb on her cheekbone. "It's not like that, meri jaan. She has no power over you, not anymore. You are just overwhelmed. Don't force yourself to express what you yet don't know how to feel. Let it be, you can cry when it finally breaks, don't force it to break, but also don't hold back when it finally does." I press a kiss to her forehead. "Break when you want, and I'll be there to gather your shattered pieces in my palms and fit them back together. Fall when you want to, and you'll find me beneath you, holding you every time, beside you."