Broken (Timids)

We Are Timids

   Shane's PoV
     As soon as I leave the shared room, I mentally curse myself for my previous actions.

How could I have been so utterly stupid? I knew how much effort it took for Drew to begin to trust people and I had probably just destroyed all the trust he had ever held for me. I was meant to be his rock, his solace, his best friend who he could turn to in a time of need. I was not meant to mix my stupid crush with helping him getting better, especially as it could end up hurting him in the long run if sadly things ended badly between us. Besides, he clearly wasn't looking for a relationship at the moment, merely a shoulder to cry on and I had completely taken advantage of that, almost kissing him when he was in too much of a state to truly know what he wanted and stop me from kissing him. He was so dependant on me at the moment, it would be easy for him to mistake his feelings of friendship for love, merely because I was the first person to show him true affection since his parents passed away tragically. I didn't want a love that wasn't true or a love that was forced upon him without his full consent.

If Drew did fall for me, of course it would be all of my dreams coming true, but I wanted him to realise it on his own terms and in his own time, without any influence from me or emotional blackmail.

Drews PoV
After a moment, I soon came to my senses and scurried off down the beige hallway in hot pursuit of Shane and the promised meal. This time, I knew I would have to eat it all up, mostly to try claw myself back into Laurence's good books and to please my timid; Shane, instead of disappointing him just like usual. Besides, it would be nice to sit around the dining table and have a nice meal with my close friends and joke around like we used to, before all this trouble arose in my bruised and battered heart.

I missed being the boy who smiled constantly at absolutely nothing and laughed at his friends incredibly corny jokes, whilst cracking a few himself. I missed being the boy who could glance at his pale reflection in the mirror without sighing loudly and almost running away in horror and utter despair. I missed being that carefree boy so much lately and I was trying my very best to get him back, but it was harder than I originally anticipated.

You couldn't just make yourself make yourself happy again over night with a click of your fingers, you had to find something in life that gave you true happiness. You couldn't just change the way you felt about yourself and you couldn't remove all those horrible words people called you from your head, instead, you needed somebody to prove them wrong and replace them with kinder ones. You couldn't just stop being broken!

Taking a deep breath and tugging anxiously at my long jacket sleeves to make sure they covered my new litter of sore scars, I made my way into the dimlitted kitchen, where my friends were already sat at the table, eating their food and talking between themselves. I smiled at the calming sight as I slipped into my seat next to Shane, who flashed me another smile, still thinking of earlier by the looks of things. Shane made a habit of overthinking things, just like me. We were really were that alike.

" it took you a while to get here, considering I sent Kier to get you from your room about five minutes ago and Shane joined us instantly after that" Laurence stated once he spotted me slouched in my place, but his voice made it sound like more of an accusation than a mere question. After the skiving incident earlier, he probably didn't trust me, just like he no longer trusted Kier.

He was always curious to the red headed males whereabouts, probably assuming that he was out somewhere with a group of ruffians vandalising streets or something ridiculous. Of course, Kier only fuelled this fire with his incredibly reckless behaviour and the way he constantly taunted Laurence about it, claiming he was heading out to sell Drugs on a street corner when Laurence asked where he was going, only to burst into pearls of laughter moments later at Laurence's mixed reaction.