Broken (Timids)

The truth

Drew's pov
   I was woken up by the bright morning sun shining directly into my tired eyes, somehow finding a way to slip through a small gap in the blinds and drag me away, heavy heartedly and with a loud sigh, from my peaceful dreaming. For once, the dreams I had been plagued with were not awful nightmares that left me terrified and feeling desperately alone, and I had been able to sleep the whole night through, without waking up myself or the boy sleeping next to me once during the whole eight hours of sleep that I had been happily permitted.

The covers were only half draped over our pale figures and it took me a moment to work out that we were both still completely naked against the crisp, white sheets, after what had happened between us last night. I smiled to myself as the pleasing memory of what happened flooded back to me and I permitted myself a shy, little giggle, though I kept quiet, in case I woke him up with my joy and broke the most peaceful sleep that he had ever had since we began sharing a room, which was just over half a year ago, when I had first moved in with my friends and Luke, who had been declared my legal guardian until I turned 18. To think of all the stuff that had miraculously happened to me in such a short space of time, which had ultimately changed my miserable life for the better, was insane. It was so weird to think that so much had happened in such a short space of time yet the proof lay before me, in the form of Shane. Months ago, I had not been able to call him more than my friend and timid but now, thankfully, we were so much more than that, and last night we had made it fully official.

Finally, after months of holding back and constantly pulling away at the last minute with a poxy excuse upon my lips, we had done it. We had finally done what most couples ended up doing at some point n their relationship and we had finally sealed our love and proved it to each other in a most special, extraordinary way, that just the thought of left me grinning wholeheartedly, like an idiot.

Finally, I had been able to let him in completely and let go of the last few secrets I kept from Shane, as, last night, I had been fully exposed to him, just as he had been to me, the idea of which would have scared me merely weeks ago, but now utterly enticed me. He didn't laugh or make scornful remarks about the scars and various other self branded marks that littered my small body, merely loved me in a way that no one else ever could or probably ever would. He had been so gentle and caring with me , yet so perfect and amazing at the same time. I had never imagined things to play out the way they did at all, I expected that things would have been over much quicker and that it would simply be an act of lust, rather than love. But it wasn't like that at all. It was quite slow and slightly messy, as we were both new to this experience and wanted to take time to savour the moment that would all too quickly be over, even though we were taking our time. Not just lust caused this, but love too.

Once more, a smile crept onto my face at these beautiful thoughts, a smile I knew would certainly be glued in its place for a few days, until something else happened in my pitiful life that would force me to switch my attention and thoughts to it. Yet I would never forget what had happened last night between me and Shane, no matter what.

Beside me, Shane was still asleep, snoring softly, his nose twitching occasionally in his sleep, which only seemed to make him cuter in my opinion, even though I had declared, on numerous occasions, that he never could get any cuter or any more perfect in my wide eyes. He always would be and he always had been the most beautiful man I had beheld and I never would forget him for all the years to come, even though at some point, I would have faded to a distant memory of his teenage years in his grown up mind.

A part of me knew that me and Shane was too good to be true and by now, I was waiting anxiously in horror for the time that he would decide that he'd had finally enough of me and all my problems and decide to leave me for good, like he should have done years ago, in pursuit of someone who was more worthy of his love, time and affection. Someone who wouldn't cause him constant pain by the fact that they screwed everything up in some way, or because they seldom ever ate the food that they were offered, which only caused Shane to worry more, or because they were constantly consumed by sadness and expected Shane to piece them back together, to make them happy and whole again. Shane didn't deserve someone like that-someone like me. He deserved someone far better and in my eyes, anyone would do a better job at being Shane's boyfriend than I was doing right now.