Drew's PoV
I sat crosslegged on the carpeted bedroom floor and bit my lip harshly as I stared at the sad sight that lay directly in front of me, over the black carpet. I was debating whether or not I was ready to take this final step towards full recovery and rid my life or pain and sorrow for good, or whether it would be best that I packed up the razors back away into the shoebox they had hidden in for months, and shoved it back in the top of the wardrobe, where no one would ever look for them , and hopefully never find them. By now, I knew that this had to be done if I ever wanted a chance of a normal life again, yet, for some reason still unknown to me, letting go of this and the razors seemed like one of the hardest things I would ever end up doing in m entire lifetime.
It wasn't like I needed the razors anymore, or the strange comfort they had once offered my damned soul as, ever since I had almost died from my extensive self harm injuries, I has been clean from cutting and almost all negative vibes and emotions that had once consumed me. I had vowed to both myself, shaney and the others that I would never use them again to harm myself and this time, I intended fully to stick to my whispered word, no matter what happened in the many years to come, happy or sad. I didn't want to be like that ever again, or to feel the need to resort to being like that again. I knew that if I got rid of the life ruining razors ones and for all, with no way to get them back in a moment if need, that I would hopefully never be tempted back to that harsh way of life ever again.
Yet a part of me was scared of what would happen once I get of this painful piece of my past and let go of the one thing that had ever served as a sense of sick salvation to me. I was scared that if I let go of it, I would forget how terrible things had been and so, end up going back to it without realising what I was even doing to myself, until it was way too late.
I teared up as I continued to stare down at the razors, mad with myself for not even being able to do this simple thing and get rid of them, for Shane. I was too pathetic to even do that, once more proving to myself and anyone who may have been lurking undetected in the shadows, watching me, that I really didn't deserve the older boy who had ultimately saved me.
"D-Drew?" A small voice stuttered from the doorway and monents later, a taller body dat dish next to my own, pulling me close inti their side, causing me to smile slightly even though my yes were filled with tears. Yet even when I was tin a mood like this, my timid could make me feel ten times better just with his presence and slowly, I felt my fear wash away.
"D-Drew...please tell me you weren't..." Shane stuttered out, trailing off hopelessly as his eyes scanned the room, widening considerably when he saw the large amounts of razors dumped in a large pile on the floor. I sniffled loudly, knowing instantly what the older timid was suggesting but I slowly shook my head at his words, my way of telling him that I hadn't cut this time, and that I was never going back to that again. He let out a sigh of relief at my brief confession though his brow still furrowed in confusion, probably wondering what I had been doing with the large amounts of razors if I hadn't been marking my skin.
"I-I don't want them anymore shaney...I want to forget about them and get rid of them...but it's too hard" I explained in a small voice after a few minutes of brief silence and I buried my face in Shanes chest, not wanting to see the outburst of raucous laughter that was sure it follow my pathetic confession. It was stupid that I was so torn about this simple thing that should have been done months ago and Shane, just like myself, wouldn't understand why I was utterly reluctant to do this, and finally let go.
"Oh Drewie sweetie, I think it's brilliant that you want to let go of this and get rid of them, and it makes sense that you're scared to open so, yet you have nothing to be scared of. You'll never feel the need to go back to cutting your beautiful skin again, I promise you. If you're scared, I'll get rid of them for you, and you won't even have to come with me, you'd just have the satisfaction of knowing they won't be here with you anymore" Shane offered and slowly, I removed my head grin stands chest and looked up to regard the older boy, checking for any signs of humour in his eyes, yet I only saw deep care and concern. Slowly, I nodded at his offer and hurriedly handing him the razors with shaking hands, trying not to look or overthink things as I did so. He quickly took them off me and hid them behind his strong back , so that I could no longer see them.
"Baby, I'll go get rid of these razors for you. Why don't you go run yourself a nice bath to calm yourself down, and I'll be there to join you in a few moments?" Shane questioned and I nodded up at him once more, hoping that the bath water would be able to wash away the hurt that Shane had somehow not. Shane smiled at my sudden enthusiasm and change in mood, and helped me steadily to my feet (I still had difficulty doing most things that required exercise since I had left the hospital a week ago) and pushed me gently in the direction of the bathroom.
I slowly made my way inside the dimly lit room and started to run the bath, smiling slightly at the thought that Shane would soon be joining me in my perfect bit of calming heaven. I smiled weakly and sat on the edge of the bath, watching the water as it slowly filled up the tub, mulling over my life so far, the last few months in particular and the change that they had brought me.
I was still broken, I still hurt, and I still cried often. And whilst I knew it would take quite some time for me to recover, that was okay, because slowly, I was getting there.
And it was all thanks to him, all thanks to my shaney.
He was the reason that I was no longer, completely, broken
Slowly, I stripped off my clothes and climbed in to the bathtub, smiling as this water wiped away my pain and I peacefully closed my eyes, only opening them when I felt another body join my own in the bathtub and a pair of my arms encircled my waist.
An;; yet another shitty chapter but I'm ill at the minute and I'll edit it soon (I promise). Thank you so much to everyone who has read/voted/commented on this story; it means a lot me. I'm considering writing an alternate, sadder ending for this like I originally planned, if anybody would be interested in reading it. Thanks again
Lucifer xoxo
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Broken (Timids)
FanfictionDrew is broken. He blames himself for everything that went wrong in his life, including his parents death. He takes out his pain the only way he knows how, by cutting into his skin when he thinks everyone else is asleep. He has kept this secret for...
