Broken (Timids)

Sweet dreams my timid

Drew's PoV
The rest of the night was spent in a glorious bliss of shared cuddles, lots of sugary sweets and a large array of different marvel movies, all just as entertaining and gripping as the one before.

The large bowl of goodies lay in Shane's lap throughout the whole of the movie marathon, ready for me to just reach over and take a handful at my pleasure without receiving any dirty looks. At first I had been rather conscious that Shane would judge me for how many of the treats I stuffed greedily down my throat and maybe even slap my hand away for being greedy but instead, it made a smile etch onto his perfect, chiseled features and his hand to ruffle through my honey hair fondly. He seemed to like it when I ate and often encouraged me to do it more. For once, someone finally cared about me and it felt good. Really good!

So for once I ignored the negative voices in my head and ate as much as my heart desired, which was an awful lot to say I was such a small person. Perhaps it was because I had not allowed myself to endulge on these treats in a while and now that I was finally allowed, I had made the most of my oportunity, just like I knew anyone else in my pitiful situation would and luckily, Shane didn't even bring it up or question my sudden, drastic change in appetite. That's what I liked most about my older Timid, the way that he didn't always push me for an answer and the way he said he was there if ever I needed him.

And for once, I actually enjoyed myself and managed to prise back a smile to my pale face. And whilst my smile clearly wasn't as big or as bubbly as it used to be, it was an improvement to be even smiling at all. It had been a while, after all.

I never honestly thought that there would come another day after my parents died that I would smile again, as I thought that I could never he happy without them here, by my side, where they truly belonged. And whilst their deaths still affected me and still saddened me deeply, Shane had shown me over the past few weeks that happiness could still be obtained and had given me my own true slice of happiness.

I honestly had no idea what I would do without my timid, as ever since he first found out about my deep, dark secret, he had done nothing but help me and promised to help me get better. And so far, he had stuck to his promise and didn't even get mad at me when I slipped up. Instead, he had hugged me close and told me that it was okay to make a mistake, that it was okay to slip up and that I could just try again. A part of me wished that I had just told him sooner, when this trouble first arose in my heart, around two years ago but I had been so afraid of how he would react at the time. It would have saved an awful lot of mascara filled tears and a lot of razors and blood and skipping meals. It would have stopped the hurt, stopped the pain inside and maybe, even have stopped me from becoming this broken in the first place. But I had just lost my parents, I couldn't bare to lose my best friends too. Then, I truly would have no one to turn too, I'd just be another lonely soul, traveling endlessly.

Snuggling closer to Shane's warmth, I let out a nervous sigh of relief as I watched the movie, which was nice and soothing to my jittery nerves. Somehow, Shane's idea had actually worked and taken my troubled mind away from my vivid nightmare and now, all that plagued my mind was what it would be like to be Peter Parker.

In a way Shane sort of reminded me of Peter Parker. You never would have really expected just by looking at his geeky persona, with his glasses and extremely long fringe, that he could be a hero yet he was my hero.

I noticed Shane smile at my gesture from the corner of my eyes, which were trained in the TV, so as not to miss a minute of the on-screen action, even though my eyelids were dropping desperately low on my face, wanting nothing more than to be engulfed by a peaceful sleep. However, I couldn't risk falling asleep as I knew that my dreams would be anything but peaceful. They would be haunted with death and disgrace and decay, washed up by crimson reign. I dreamed about a series of different things, each scenario more terrifying than the last . I hated sleeping as I knew the second that I closed my eyes, I would be overcame by terror and,in my unconscious state, I wouldn't have the power to be able to know it wasn't real.