You Don't Know..What you Don't Know

Chapter 44- Winter

His mood had improved slowly throughout the night and when we got back to the apartment, but we weren't exactly alone. Laughter drifted up from the living room as Randy closed the bedroom door, then quietly locked the bathroom door as well.

I sat on the edge of the bed, pulling off my boots one at a time, when he stepped between my knees and took my hands.

"I'm trying, Tia." His voice was quiet. "I really am. I did better tonight. I listened before I reacted." A hesitant smile crossed his face. "That's progress...right?"

I looked up at him, confused.

"I thought we'd already moved past this at the concert. I'm not mad at you." I squeezed his hand. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

He exhaled slowly and ran a hand through his hair.

"I thought you were pulling away because of what I said to Phillip." His jaw tightened. "I hate the guy. I hate him even more because I thought he had you first. Every time I picture it..." He shook his head. "It makes me want to hit something."

I answered so softly he almost missed it.

"It wasn't Phillip."

His head snapped toward me.

"What?"

I held his gaze.

"I won't tell you who it was, and I won't talk about the details." My voice remained calm but firm. "What I will tell you is that Phillip wasn't the one I lost my virginity to."

Silence settled between us.

I stood and reached for my backpack.

"I should probably go."

Before I'd taken two steps, Randy was already standing in front of the door.

"Where are you going?" His expression filled with panic. "You were supposed to stay tonight."

I lifted my chin.

"I figured after hearing that...you'd want me to leave."

His shoulders immediately relaxed.

"No, baby." He stepped closer. "I'm jealous. I'm trying to work through it, but that's my problem—not yours." He reached for my hand again. "I want to know someday...but I don't want you to go."

Relief spread through me.

He led me back to the bed, and we sat facing each other.

"Can I ask a couple questions?" he asked carefully. "Just enough to quiet my imagination?"

I sighed.

"One condition."

He smiled.

"You let me change first."

His eyes dropped to my jeans.

"Too tight?"

I rolled mine.

"You have no idea."

I slipped out of the impossibly snug jeans, folded them neatly, and tucked them into my backpack. Only then did I realize I'd forgotten to pack sleep shorts—or even underwear.

Wonderful.

My oversized T-shirt brushed the middle of my thighs as I climbed back onto the bed and folded my legs beneath me.

"Okay," I said. "Ask."

He studied me for a moment.

"How far did you and Phillip go?"