In the end

17

I told all my friends I'm pregnant. They were all shocked, and somewhat excited! I'm just happy they said they will support me through my descions. I hate going to everyone and telling them can I just like make an announcement it be a hell of a lot easier.

We told my friends, his friends, his whole family, the majority if my family, and my parents friends. The one person who's super excited is my grandma! She said she loves babies, and is excited because the old tradition is still getting passed down, by getting married, and having baby's as a teenager. I have no idea why she is happy about that but whatever.. I'm not getting married anytime soon. She is 65 and is in good mental and physical shape so she said she is willing to watch the baby a lot.. Not a full time daycare but a lot of the time she will because it's Josh and I's senior year, than after that we need to work, run out to get groceries, or Go to the gym, hang out with our friends, have a date night, study, she said she will watch the baby no matter what! I love my 'Mimi'.

Today is my birthday. I'm kind of excited but still not.. I'm pregnant this is no fun. Josh said he panned something out for us tonight so I'm excited for that. He said he would pick me up in a hour so I have a hour to get ready. I hopped in the shower again because I went for a run earlier on after work. Once I finished showering I blow dried my hair, I than straightened it. 18 more minutes. I did my make up which took about 10 minutes. Fuck 8 more minutes. I ran in to my room. I put my push up bra on, my thong on, and than slipped a Black skin tight dress on. Damn I look good you can barely see a bump. I put black heels on, than put some jewelry on. I sprayed some perfume on, than grabbed my purse, and Sweater and walked downstairs. I saw Josh standing there looking cute. He had a Navy blue polo shirt on, and khakis. I bit my lip and he smiled.

"Happy birthday baby! You look gorgeous!" He said hugging me.

My mom looked at us smiling.

"Aww! Love you guys! Have fun." She said waving.

We went to his car and he opened the door for me. He got in and he began driving.

"So where are we going..." I asked.

"Larry's"

"Oh wow babe! That's a nice place.." I said shocked.

"Yeah, well your special!"

I smiled.

After a 10 minute drive we arrived there. We walked in and sat at our table. I looked over the menu. Mmm chicken and Mashed potatoes sound so good right now. I'll get that.

"What are you getting?" I asked.

"Hmm, I think I might get this lobster special!"

"Oh baby, I forgot to tell you.. I can't smell seafood! I'll want to throw up or I will.." I said upset.

"Aw it's ok! I'll get this steak than.."

"Babe I'm sorry!" I said upset.

"Amanda! It's a meal it's fine baby, there no need to be sorry, if any bring I'm sorry I got us in this situation.. I mean we could be out Getting drunk, partying all that."

"It Doesn't bother me anymore.. I love this baby, like everyday I bond such a better connection with it" I said smiling.

"That's good! I'm glad.."

We ordered our food than chatted while we waited for it. Once it arrived we began eating. There was this waiter who was Bringing his customer a seafood platter. Once my pregnant nose smelt that I felt the vomit rolling up my throat. I got up quickly and walked out of the room. I hurried to the bathroom and opened the stall quick and threw up. I sat there stressed. I heard the door close behind me and Josh was there. He knelt down beside me.

"It's ok baby! Everything's ok." He said rubbing my head.

I hugged him and closed my eyes hopping id fall asleep and this night be over with but it wasn't. He helped me up and I washed myself up and we went back out and we asked for the check and ate some more of our food. When we left I closed my eyes on the car ride home. I thought I was home when I felt the car stop. I opened my eyes and I was at a park. I was so confused.

"Where are we.."

"At the park!" He said.

"Can I just go home.."

"But I just want to hangout with you, with no one, or nothing by us.. Is that ok?" He asked.

"Yeah."

We got out of the car and began walking. He wrapped his arm around me. I felt so safe. And happy with him.

"I love you Amanda I really do.. I just can't even imagine what your going through, or about to go through. It's crazy thinking about how this is going to work out you know? I know I sound like a baby, but I keep crying about it.. I'm just so scared, I love you and it, but are we ready?" He said.

"I don't know! I don't know if we ever will be.. I really wish i got an abortion"

"What?" He said shocked.

"I don't want to have this baby.. And I don't want to give it up for adoption, I should've just done it! I should've never told you, should've never told anyone and just did it! This is ruining everything!"

"Baby you made the right choice.." He said hugging me.

"Than why is it so hard."

"It's going to be.." He said.

"I can't do I really can't, I think I'm going to put the baby up for adoption.."

"Amanda! Why.. We need to make the descions together." He said.

"To bad! I'm not doing this, I can't have this Baby!"

"Amanda!" He said annoyed.

"Ok fine! You can have the baby full time ok, I'll visit whenever I want to, is that fine with you! Or do you want to give it up for adoption!"

"Why! We have an amazing support group, money, everything why are you giving it up for adoption!" He asked.

"Because I'm not ready to be a mom yet! There are plenty of woman who are and they deserve it! I'm just not ready.."

He teared up. "Than I'm done!"

"Done with what!"

"With you!" He said.

I felt chills run through my body.

"Exactly why I'm giving this baby up! We We will never work out! You dont want a better life for it! I do it deserves a happy family!"

"Ok. Do what you want. I guess it's no,longer my child because I never get a say in any thing anyways" he said annoyed.

We awkwardly both walked back to the car. The ride home was silent and tense. Ugh 15 minutes of this. We arrived at my house so I got out and walked in to my house. I went straight to my room. What a wonderful brithday. I wish I just stayed home.