In the end

8 months old

*ONE MONTH LATER*
Things have been actually been going smoothly for once in my life. Amanda has been out of the picture. I mean she's still around, we text and occasionally talk in person about Ryder. Amanda told me that she told her parents and brother about her drug usage and why we aren't together or why she does not see her son. But of course she didn't tell the truth. I found out from her grandma that she says I'm the bad guy because I'm blowing it out of proportion. Amanda says that I won't let her see Ryder because she 'smoked weed once and I caught her' she's crazy.

Besides from my baby mama drama everything's been going well. Leeann and I are thing, I really like her. Ever since the night of the party when I took her virginity, I feel like a new person. I guess it's because I truly like her.  We hangout and talk
a lot, she's even met my family and has hung out with us a few times but there's one thing I haven't let her do. Met Ryder, I just feel he's mine and he will forever be my baby  and that I need to protect him from whatever comes his way. If Lee and I start to date I want to make sure she's legit I don't want people walking in and out of his life, especially if it's a mother figure to him. He's already going to be damaged with not having his mom around him, I just don't want him to feel like he can't have a mom because they always leave. But I know she's dying to meet him.

Enough on my crazy life, let's focus on Ryder. He is so adorable, I swear he gets cuter everyday. RJ is 8 months old and he loves to play. He babbles all day and plays with all of his toys. He throws balls, bangs blocks together and he even learned how to crawl. So that's pretty much what he will do all day sleep, eat, poop, play and crawl. Ryder knows his schedule pretty well, but when daddy has to leave to go to work, school, practice or just to leave the house or leave him he gets separation anxiety. He cries and wants to hold on to daddy by snuggling me and gripping my shirt because he thinks I can't force his hands off me.

I'm meeting up with Leeann today for a lunch date. I of course haven't thought of the right time to introduce Ryder to Leeann so I'm going to drop RJ off with Amanda for the day since she hasn't seen him in awhile, plus she has never had him alone since our breakup. I was always there with them. I still don't fully trust Amanda so I asked to speak to Angelina and Charles when I drop RJ off with them to speak to them about how I want Amanda supervised by them at all times.

/////CALL/////
{A}-Hey, josh I just wanted to ask you something?
{J}-Okay.. Go
{A}-Do you think it's possible for Ryder to spend the night over here at my parents house with me! I really miss him and I want to take care of him. My parents are here too and will be all day, I really just need to have RJ in my life I can't imagine my life going in like this anymore..
{J}-Amanda you know this is very last minute and a hard position to out me in.
{A}-I know, I know.. I just think that if I spend more time with my son they I will be more motivated to get my life on track.
{J}-I'm going to have to talk to your parents first to see if they are willing to sacrifice some time up to watch their daughter and grandson. Hey will you be willing to do a drug test by any chance?
{A}-Josh you know that's unfair to ask of right now.
{J}- Actually I don't think it's unfair. Our agreement was for you to get clean and you will see Ryder. It's not oh let me get high the morning I get to see my son and ask for him to stay over while we I be drugs in my system.
{A}-Whatver! Bring my son over, I'm tired of dealing with you.
{J}-Keep up that attitude. This is a privilege for you, you should be saying 'thank you Josh for keeping our son safe, taking both of our roles and letting me still see him. Thanking you for Not going to court because I know that I would be arrested and my son would be completely takin away from me and I know Josh wouldn't want to see that. So thank you Josh, you are such a great guy!'
{A}-Get over yourself..
{J}- haha, you sound just like the hypocrite you are!
\\\\\END///////
I hung up and got Ryder's diaper bag packed with all of his stuff that he needs, plus instructions like his schedule. I began to get nervous as the time to bring my son to a druggie was coming close.