In the end

First day of senior year

*2 weeks later*
Ah tonight's the night! My night of absolute no sleep. I'm going to school tomorrow. I really could not wait to get back to school after I had Ryder, but now that it's here I'm sad. I'm going to miss my baby. But fortunately with my amazing school they let me take 6 weeks off of school to stay home with Ryder and get back to myself, while they helped me get all of my assignments done. Yes that's right 6 weeks! I can be my normal self again sex, sports and working out. I've been breast feeding Ryder this whole time but I'm going to stop because I'll jut be way to busy, by the time I get to sit down I would have to spend my time breast feeding and pumping. The only hard part is I'm still going to leak and my boobs are going to hurt so much if I don't pump or feed. At my 6 week appointment yesterday I asked what to do, and they said just wait for it to take it's course it will eventually stop. So long for my fantastic boobs.

It's 9:30pm. I'm getting everything ready for tomorrow, I packed all of my class work assignments that Josh has been dropping off for me. Most of the stuff I could send in through the computer but these are the picky teachers. My classes tomorrow are English, gym, philosophy, and digital art design. I'm not looking forward to it I see Josh 2 times. Ever since  our argument 2 weeks ago we only texted and exchanged the baby. He saw Ryder like 2 times a week for an hour. I finished with my backpack so I made all of Ryder's bottles for tomorrow and put them in a lunch box in the fridge. I than got everything of his that my grandma doesn't have ready. I also gave her Josh's number just In case there's an emergency and I don't answer. I made myself lunch so it's already pre packed. I than grabbed the baby monitor and went upstairs. I looked at Ryder sleeping and kissed his head, and went to bed. [10:30pm]

[12:04am]
*WAH, WAH,WAH*
I groaned and got up picking Ryder up out of his bassinet. 'Shhh it's ok clam down' I lifted my shirt up and Ryder automatically latched on and he wasn't near my nipple. "Someone must be hungry" I said yawning. Oh shit I wasn't expose to breast feed him, I'm expose to ween him off of it, oh well I'm just going to have major sore leaking boobs tomorrow.  I burped him when he was finished and laid him back down. [12:40am]

[1:45am]
*WAH WAH WAH*
Ugh I just fell asleep. I got up and grabbed him out of his bassinet and began changing him because I know that's his problem. When I was doing that I felt mushy stuff on my hand. Oh fuck no! I turned the light on and Ryder literally like exploded in his diaper. "Oh come on Ryder!" I said annoyed. I took his poop infested footsie off than took his loaded diaper and threw it in the diaper genie. I than tried wiping the pop off him but it was no ending. "I'm seriously about to give you a bath little guy.. I really wish your dad was here to help me so I could clean this stuff up to!" I laid him back in his poop covered Bassinet and ran to the bathroom and ran warm water in to his tub. I carried him in and bathed him till he was a freshly new baby. I than put a diaper in him and changed him in to a dinosaur footsie. I laid him on my bed in a boppy pillow, while cleaned my room up. I changed his bassinet sheets his changing table sheets I than whipped the poop off everything, and than hand washed the poop out of the sheets, clothes, and blankets. I was gagging the whole time. When I was done. I sprayed air freshener through my whole room and laid down snuggled with Ryder in my bed. "Good night poop monster!" [3:03am]

*BUZ, BUZ, BUZ*
[5:05am]
Oh fuck this! This isn't fair I'm so tired. I turned my alarm off and looked at Ryder. I have to go for him. I got up and put him in his bassinet. I hopped in tot the shower for about 15 minutes when I finished I blow dried my hair, and began straightening it. When I finished it was (5:45). I than put my make up on (6:00). I went back in to my room and picked out an outfit. I put my bra on and put leaking pads in there, than I put my nice teen underwear on finally I've been waiting this long. I grabbed a pair of  skinny jeans, and a nice black shirt, I than put black combat boots on. I put Ryder's birthstone necklace on, along with 3 silver Alex and Ani bracelets. I than picked out a cute outfit for Ryder. It was a short sleeved white and black stripped onesie, I than put on dark jeans, and socks that look like shoes. I decided to put a light black sweater on him so he's not cold. I than carried him downstairs. I began to make myself breakfast. I grabbed a bagel, and put cream cheese on it. I began eating it while I made myself coffe, and heated Ryder's bottle up. [7:35] I heard a knock at the door so I quickly ran to it and my grandma was here.

"Hi honey!" She said hugging me. She took Ryder from me and began feeding him. "How are you feeling! Are you excited?"

"Yeah I guess, I'm nervous, sad, all different emotions!"

"Aw well I hope you got a goods night sleep.." She said.

"Far from it! This kid woke me up so much, and at one point popped everywhere so I had to spend like an hour an a half cleaning everything, giving him! I got like 3 hours of sleep."

"Ooh sweetie I feel terrible! This is why Josh should be with you.. But I know your broken up! It's just it's not fair you always have to sacrifice your sleep." Grams said stern.

"I know tell me about it, anyways I'm gonna head out soon thank you so much grams!" I said giving her a hug.

I walked to my car and loaded my bag, and coffee in. I than walked back in and gave Ryder a kiss goodbye and put him in his carseat. I hooked him in to her car, and gave her a diaper bag of his stuff. I than ran back and locked my front door. I waved to my grandma while I pulled out of my driveway and began driving to school. When I arrived on campus my heart started beating so fast. Oh my god I'm so nervous! I went to the senior parking lot and parked my car. I took a deep breath and grabbed my bag and keys and began walking to the school. "Amanda!" Tony shouted. I turned around. What the hell does Tony Jones want from me. He ran up to me. "Hey what's up!?" He asked.

"Um nothing much, walking to school.." I said awkwardly.

"Yep, haha! I'm glad your back, a lot of people missed you"

"That surprises me." I said rolling my eyes.

"Why, they really did."

"Because everyone can be a dick to me for getting pregnant and now they want to be nice! God forbid anyone to be nice to me during my pregnancy, that's when I needed it the most." I growled.

"Ooo, yeah..well..um sounds like you haven't gotten to much sleep lately." Tony said awkwardly.

"Excuse me! Why are you talking to me.. You are someone who didn't say a word to me when I was pregnant, but now you want to talk to me. Shouldn't you be scared of me or something, I have a kid!"

"Yeah so does half the people I know! It's not weird that you have a kid. Plus I didn't talk to you during your pregnancy because I didn't know how you were like if your were hormonal and didn't want to talk about it at all." Tony said.

"Why are you talking to me now..."

"Because your hot, and I've always liked you but than you got pregnant and were with Josh!" Tony replied.

"So you like me now?!"

"Yes, I guess!"

"Oh my god! I get it now. You know Josh and I broke up and now that I'm a free target you want to get with me. The only reason why your talking to me is because you want sex, and just because I got pregnant you think that I'm a slut!" I said pissed off.

"Oh my god I wasn't going in that direction at all, I jut want to be friends with you I feel like you need friends! A fun time. Your a mom now, enjoy your time in high school.."

"Ok well, I'm going to go to class, bye!" I said annoyed. I walked to English. I saw Josh sitting down, and my teacher told me to sit in the desk in front of him. I sat down and turned around.

"Hey! You look beautiful today.." Josh said.

"Cut the sweet talk, I know you know it's 6 weeks."

"Amanda were broken up, I'm just complementing how nice you looked today. I'm glad you did it, you still look hot and took care of Ryder!" He said smiling.

"Yeah, well these looks aren't going to be lasting very long.."

"What why not!?" Josh asked.

"Your sons a maniac, ok! He's insane I only got 3 hours of sleep last night! Oh and you missed his poop explosion in the middle of the night, that took me like 2 hours to clean up! By the time I gave him a bath and cleaned everything up, I didn't have enough time to fall asleep. I've been up since like 1:45am.. Because it's later till 3 in the morning and I got like 30 minutes of sleep."

"Wow Amanda I'm sorry!" He said feeling guilty.

"You have no idea how hard it is.. I seriously need you to help me tonight.."

"Ok, I will!" He Repleid.