In the end

We're still kids ourselves

Josh's POV
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I'm not looking forward to meeting up with Amanda because it's been somewhat peaceful without her in the picture. I mean I still have anxiety about where she is and if she's okay, I still love her.

I got Ryder ready and we headed to the 'shake shack' I bet Amanda will be late and will be high as a kite but hey that's her choice. I texted her if she's high I will make sure Ryder is kept from her.

I arrived at the restaurant so I walked in carrying Ryder on my side. I saw some hot girls around my age and they blushed looking at me.

"Aw he's so cute! Are you a male babysitter, or is he your brother?"

Should I lie or should I tell the truth. "Actually he's my son!"

"Oh.. Um wow, how old are you?"

I chuckled "18".

"Wow, I'm 17 I couldn't imagine.."

"Yeah it's tuff but I love it, I wouldn't trade him for the world." I said smiling at Ryder's cuteness.

"Well I find you being a daddy attractive, you should text me some time. Here's my number, by the way I'm Samantha." She said passing me a piece if paper with her number on it.

"I'm Josh and this is Ryder. It's been nice meeting you." I said sticking out my hand. She shook it smiling hard.

"See you.."

I chuckled and walked in looking for Amanda. "Ooo daddy got some ones number! WOOH HOO! Maybe she will be your new mommy."

I walked towards the back and I saw Amanda sitting there nervosuly. "Look there's your mama!"

Amanda gasped. "Aw RJ! Hi baby I've missed you!"

She took him from me hugging and kissing him so much. He giggled at getting to see her again. I just decided to look at the menu and make this lunch quick.

"He missed his mommy."

"Yeah I guess he did, he's been pretty good so I guess it's just that he's seen your face again." I commented rolling my eyes.

"So how have you been?"

"Ugh pretty good, you see me everyday in school." I huffed.

"Why are you so rude!"

"I'm not rude, I'm just giving you the same impression you've been leaving on me for the past 3 months." I snapped.

"What dies that even mean?" She asked groaning.

"What does that even mean? Really?! Damn you are as dumb as they come."

Amanda gasped. "Wow that's real nice."

"Yeah and so is you doing drugs, boo fucken who."

"Okay well I'm trying to be nice to you and your total sly blowing me off. You want me to change so I'm trying and your turning it down."

"Trying! Your trying! You should be changed." I shouted.

"Josh. I can't fucken win damn."

I sipped my water and decided to just stop the fighting. "You know what I'm sorry. I'm being selfish right now, you are trying to be nice. It's just you have to stop acting like none of this has happened because your still doing drugs.."

"I'm sorry.."

"I'm sorry too anyway have you been getting better?" I asked.

"Umm, I think I'm trying."

"Well I really think you should try to do a month away at a rehab I think it will help you, I really do. The school will let you go, I've I'll ready researched it. They will send a tutor to you and you will complete the school work there and than come back a whole knew woman. What do you think?" I said trying to persuade her.

"Um that's a lot to take in right away, but I think it's a good option. But I don't think I'm that gone."

"You are gone, I'm sorry to say It but your fiancé and son don't live with you anymore you've been that gone." I huffed.

"It's just, Josh.. I don't know how to say this."

I moved closer to her and put my hand in her leg. "You can tell me anything!"

"I'm pregnant."

I closed my eyes in disbelief hoping to wake up from this terror but I didn't. This is reality, I hate myself. I jumped back moving away from her. She looked so upset.

"I'm sorry, I am.. Umm can you say something." She said nervously.

"This isn't possible."

She dug through her purse and pulled out three positive pregnancy tests. "It's possible."

I got up and walked outside. I heard her shouting my name but I kept going. I walked to the side of the restaurant and began throwing up. I felt so dizzy so I sat down and began crying.

My life is over, my dream, everything is over. One kid is one story but two, Shit! I know she's going to be doing drugs while she's pregnant when it's born the baby is going to have disabilities and I'm going to be stuck with two mistakes while she is doing drugs.

I need to get out of here, I need some free time by myself.

I walked back in the restaurant and Amanda was drying off her tears. "Hey are you better?" She asked.

"Okay so this baby is already screwed,  it's going to have disabilities with the drugs you've done and are still doing, so were going to do the easiest thing for both of us.. You need to get an abortion."

She gasped hard and began crying. "No Josh! Were not killing this baby.."

"Yes we are! I can't take care of this baby too. It's the way out please." I begged.

"No! It was meant to be. We need to be together for the baby and for RJ!"

"No! I'm not going to be with you let alone live with Ryder, or slowly torture my baby! Just let it be free in heaven." I sighed.

"Fuck you! You are sick for thinking about killing our baby."

"We are still kids! How the hell are we going to raise 2 kids. Amanda I can't be with you or have anything to do with the next baby. I'll make a deal, you can visit Ryder a few days every month but besides that he will live with me. You take care of your baby I'll send child support but I can't deal with another child right now!" I cried.

"Fuck you! Ryder deserves to be with me!"

"A pregnant drug addict, yeah I bet he deserves it. And to think I was going to think about getting in to a relationship with you again if you stayed clean for a little. I guess not."

I packed my stuff up and grabbed Ryder.

"What let me see him!" She shouted.

"No, he's living with me.."

"No I need to say goodbye." She said taking Ryder from me squeezing him tight. He began crying so I took him and stormed out of the restaurant.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!