Sooner or Later.

-fifty one-

-james-

I closed my eyes knowing this would be the last time in months I would hold her.

I rubbed my hand down her back and pulled away from her embrace.

I smiled down at her and wiped a tear from her face.

"I'll see you at Christmas." I mumbled kissing her lips one last time and shutting her car trunk.

She smiled as she drove away and I looked back to the apartment I'd spend the next few years in alone.

Charlie would love college, I know it, and I wasn't gonna be around to prevent her from doing what she loved.

The next years of my life would be the most difficult.

Ever.

The first couple months were okay.

We can thank skype and patience for those rare and beautiful moments between us.

Then things got harder.

Long distance puts a strain on everything in your life.

I hadn't seen my family in weeks when I had taken a road trip up to see her one weekend.

I knocked on her dorm room with flowers and awaited the girl I had loved for so long to return into my arms.

Charlie didn't answer the door.

At least at first glance I didn't think it was her.

Heavy makeup rested all over her eyes and face.

Her clothes were... different and her hair was dyed blonde.

"Charlie?" I asked skeptical.

Sure I'd seen her on skype, but late at night when her hair was pulled back and her face was bare.

"James!" she yelled reaching up and kissing me hard.

I slowly slipped my tongue into her mouth when I felt a sharp pain.

"What the hell?" I said quickly pulling away from her mouth

"Oh I just got my tongue pierced." she said sticking it out, laughing then going back in to kiss me.

I ran my hands along her body as I took off my jacket and shoes and placed the flowers on her dresser.

We both quickly and quietly got undressed as I laid her down on her bed.

Taking Charlie's virginity so long ago was something I thought of often.

She'll always remember that I was the one to first explore that part of her.

Charlie obviously didn't take my virginity, but that night, when I went to visit her, that's exactly what it felt like.

Sex between us was always natural, and felt right and normal but good.

That night I wasn't touching my Charlie, I wasn't making love to the woman of my dreams, but a stranger.

I never once mumbled "I love you" I her as I watched her body shake in my grasp.

She wasn't the person I fell in love with anymore.

It took about a year for me to realize this.

College changed Charlie in a way that I wasn't prepared for.

I'm sure if you'd ask Charlie right now she'd tell you that I changed and she stayed exactly the same, which might've happened in her mind.

The thing about love is, there's all different kinds of it, no one version is the same as the next, and no one version is completely perfect, and no one version is completely correct.

I take most things as a learning experience Charlie was one of them everyone in my life is one of them.

It's been about three years since the last time I saw Charlie in her tiny dorm room.

I don't regret Charlie, not at all, but she wasn't the one and it took me this many years to figure it out.

I got my tattoo removed last year.

This story didn't mean to upset anyone or to never believe in love because I still believe in it.

Just not with Charlie.

Recently I had found her entries in the attic of my apartment when I was moving.

I decided to write my part.

Our love was beautiful and real, but it wasn't right and I think that's an important lesson for everyone.

Sometimes it's not real, but those love stories should still be shared.

I thank you on coming with me on this journey, and I apologize for taking this long to finally finish it.

Thank you for being so invested in mine and Charlie's love and I hope everyone has a chance to feel love the way I have.

THE END

wow it's been years. Actually years since I've uploaded. I decided it was finally time to wrap up this love story. I anticipated this ending many years ago and I'm sorry it has taken this long to finish. Thank you anyone who has stuck with my story for years.

~j.m (for the last time)