Sooner or Later.

-thirty six-

-charlie-

The impact of what had happened finally hit me.

It was two weeks after what had happened with Alex.

I was standing in the shower when I heard a noise from outside.

I squeaked his name.

I know it.

"Alex?"

He was my only form of protection from this world and I called out his name when he was no longer mine.

It was just a towel that had fallen off the rack that scared me.

And I was just another causal girl who had come and gone in his life.

I covered my mouth once I realized what I said, even though I was alone.

He had done this to me and I still felt the urge to kiss him and tell him how much I love him.

I sank to the floor of the shower and cried.

He was gone and it wasn't my fault.

But I felt like it was.

I quickly stood up and got out of the shower.

I dried my hair and pinned it back into a bun.

I got dressed but didn't bother putting any makeup on.

I grabbed my bags and sat on the front porch and waited for James to pick me up from school.

I was fifteen minutes early but I needed that time to think.

He pulled up to the curb and looking confused he got out of the car.

I just ran over to him and wrapped my arms around him.

He said nothing, just held me where I was standing.

I pulled away from his arms.

He picked up my bag and said, "Let's talk."

He lead me to the car and sat me inside.

He got in on the drivers side and shut the door behind him.

"Before we get your mind cleared up I have to say that you look even more beautiful today, did you get some new makeup or something?" He said examining my eyes and cheeks.

I shook my head.

"Thank you but I'm not wearing makeup today." I said flicking at my fingers.

"You should do it more often." He said finally starting his car and driving down the street.

"So what's troubling your beautiful mind?" He said tapping on the wheel of the car.

"Well, I don't know James, it's just everything. I can't help but feel gross because of what happened with Alex. It's like I miss him a lot." I said sighing and pressing up against the window.

"Babe come on you can do better than him! You guys dated for a while but so what people don't stay together forever, and you are much to beautiful to be worrying about one boy who shattered your heart when there are so many others out there." He said pulling up to the school and taking my hand in his.

"Thanks James." I said half smiling.

"Don't mention it." He said picking up my hand and kissing the top of it as I laughed at him.

"Anyways, I want you to meet a new uh, friend of mine." He said.

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"A 'special' friend?" I asked smirking and making air quotes around the word 'special'

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Maybe." He replied placing his hand lighting on my waist and leading me towards a blonde girl who was sitting on a bench right outside the school.

"Babe?" He said touching her shoulder causing her to turn around.

I looked at the familiar blonde waves of her hair, the grey-blue eyes and dropped my bag.

"Charlie this is Rac-" I didn't let him finish, I took off running.

I hoped that I'd never see those beautiful eyes again.

That was her.

That was the girl who was with Alex.

I sprinted away from the school but I heard close footprints following behind me.

I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and pull my running to a stop.

I turned around to see James.

"Charlie?" He asked pulling me close to his chest.

I shoved him.

"What the hell?" He asked.

"That's her." I said.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" He asked, obviously not understanding which girl I was referring to.

"That girl is the girl who was with Alex that night." I said breathing out.

"Charlie, I didn't know, I met her last week at Starbucks and asked for her number I didn't know that was her." He said attempting to wrap his arms around me, and this time I let him.

"I just." I sighed.

He didn't wait for a response he just held my body close to his and stroked my back until the tears stopped coming.

"She's very nice Charlie, she had no idea that he had a girlfriend. Her name is Rachel and she goes to another school." He said rubbing my back as we walked.

I nodded.

"Okay, I'm sorry." I said.

"It's not your fault babe, you didn't know how to react." He said stroking my cheeks.

"So." I said changing the subject.

"You really like her?" Asked with a visible smirk on my face.

He once again rolled his eyes at me. 

"Yeah I do but you sound like a fifth grader." He said smiling and leading us back into the school.

"Rachel." He said walking back up to the girl again.

"Oh my god I am so sorry." She said coming over to me and hugging me.

James nodded and me and I hugged her back.

"I had no idea he was taken. I just feel so awful about the whole thing and as soon as you walked over I realized it was you." She said pulling away from the embrace.

I nodded.

"it's okay it's not your fault," I said.

"It was his." We said at the same time and than started giggling.

James sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Now on a formal introduction, Charlie, this is my girlfriend Rachel and Rachel this is my best friend Charlie." He said.

I smiled at her again.

"James I better go school." Rachel said kissing his cheek and waving bye to me.

I waved back to her.

"Now was that so bad?" He asked hooking his arm around my shoulder.

"No." I said smiling.

"Let's go then." He said leading me into the school.

All day I just repeated to myself.

"It was his fault."

And I think it was finally sinking in.

-helloo-

homecoming is today and it's raining gotta love life!!

well it's it's only 11:15 so I'm going back to bed gn!

~j.m