All I could do was cry(completed)

15.5

I looked around at my surroundings one more time because I was still unsure if that was a dream.

Jewel:"mom are you ok?"

I started feeling like I was being closed in and my breaths started to quicken.

Jewel:"mom what's happening are you ok?"

I was having a panic attack the same ones I had when my parents died.Times like this were very rare now because they were only triggered by death.I had just imagined myself laying on my death bed and I wasn't happy with what I saw.Im breaking up my family it's all because of me that Jay isn't here with me right now.If I had stayed in New York with him and let him explain himself to me and how it was an accident he would still be right here with me.Jewel would be happy I would be happy and that's all the would matter right?I continued panicking my breathing hitched like this isn't good I need help I'm dying here.Jewel ran in the house and got Michael he came and seen that I was having a panic attack and tried to calm me.The only person who can calm me when I'm like this is Shawn Corey Carter himself and no one else.I gave jewel the look I always give her whenever I think hear or speak of Jay.

Jewel:"Michael call Jay."

Michael:"what are you crazy now is not the time for playing games."

Jewel:"trust me call Jay."

Michael got up to go and call Jay I was now laying on the driveway getting even more scared because this was some what like my vision I was having a hard time breathing again.I was there until Michael came back.

Michael:"help me put her back in the car we have to head over to the hospital."

I had an immediate reaction to the words hospital was my vision coming true was that gods way of warning me my time was up?I started to cry as they lifted me back into the car.The whole ride there I was losing conciseness because my breathing was very irregular.Once we pulled up to the hospital I started to flip out I was screaming using the little air I had left in me and kicking trying to save my life.I felt a pair of arms take me out of jewel and Michaels grip and instantly I fell to ease.It was Jay and I knew it was him by the way his arms wrapped around me he was really here and here to save me.We sat down next to the car him resting his back on the car and me sitting in his lap.

Jay:"shhh bey bey calm down its ok breathe slowly come on here we go breathe with me."

He started breathing very slow and I copied what he was doing slowly my breathing returned to normal.I hugged Jay around his neck to say that I was thankful.

Jewel:"daddy why did we have to come to the hospital if you could have done this at home?"

I looked up at him waiting on his response.

Jay:"well when you guys called me blue and Sanaa were already on our way to the hospital."

Jewel:"why?"

Jay:"we think blue might be sick so we wanted to make sure she was ok."

Bey:"so she just had a cold?"

Jay:"we don't know the doctors have to run so..(gco)"

In the middle of his sentence I got up and ran behind the car because I had to vomit like nobody's business.I doubled over from the pain as I threw up again.

Michael:"bey are you ok?"

Jewel:"nigga do it look like she ok if she throwin up?"

Jay:"hey young lady watch your mouth."

Jewel:"fine."

I crouched over the car and it felt like things were spinning I looked up at jewel Jay and Michael and my vision was not only blurry but I was seeing double.Then just like that I fell to the ground unable to hold myself up.Jay ran over to me and picked me up he ran into the hospital calling for a nurse and a wheelchair.I sat there looking dumb founded as the whole room was spinning and making me even more nauseous.

Jay:"CAN I GET A DAMN NURSE THIS HOSPITAL AINT THAT DAMN BUSY?"

Michael:"Jay stop yelling tha not how you ask for help."

Jay:"yo Michael shut the hell up because this is my girl we are talking about I will yell to the ends of the earth if I have to and why are you still here?"

Michael:"I don't know I was asking myself that same question?"

Jay:"well you know where the door is fell free to exit whenever your ready."

Jewel:"old man watch how your talking to him ok he is annoying all the time and may look like a foreign animal but he was there for momma when you weren't so let him be."

The whole time they were arguing I felt nauseous all over again.Then out of no where I heard a loud smack and tried to get up.

Jewel:"mommy he hit me."

Jewel was laying in the floor crying as she held her face in her hands.Just as I was about to say something a nurse came and took me up to a room.Jay left to go with Sanaa and blue so it was just me and jewel.The doctor came back and ran some test on me as I waited for the results I felt like I was slowly losing my mind.This doctor needs to hurry up because I hate hospitals and I always receive bad news when I come I have never been to a hospital and received good news so if your gonna break my heart break it fast.I looked over at jewel and she was on her phone I realized she is 11 and hasn't been to school yet lord me and all my problems I forgot about jewel.

Bey:"jewel baby do you want to go to school?"

Jewel:"school as in a place of learning with other children my age sure why not if its not to much on you."

Bey:"no baby your fine if that's what you want to do I'll do it for you."

Doctor:"hello miss knowles."

Bey:"hello soo what are the results?"

As I asked my questioned I was still looking down at jewel and noticed there was an abrupt silence.I looked up and seen there was more than one doctor.

Bey:"uh-oh it's bad news isn't it?"